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Original poster

NCT groups - how long did you stay in contact for?

91 replies

Diamond345 · 28/12/2023 18:55

Curious as to how long you stayed in touch with your NCT friends for?

Did any drop out of joining in conversation early on?
Did you meet up often?

In my group, 3 of the women rarely spoke or came out when we arranged regular meet ups. We also did weekly classes and coffee after but again they didn't ever join in with that either nor respond. But would now and then say something. The rest of the mums are great and we are still in contact after a year so far.

I thought most people did NCT for the friendships and support group with other mums with babies the same age, rather than the course content as much!

Just wondering if others experienced this with their NCT group!

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NewYearNewYu · 28/12/2023 20:51

I went along for the first year but found most of the chat a bit shallow, lots of talk about expensive buggies, toys and designer outfits. I still see two of them as our dc do the same clubs and will exchange pleasantries but nothing more.
I then did a post natal course and am in touch with them 15 years on. So glad I found my clan of like minded mums.

Oblomov23 · 28/12/2023 20:58

PNG x 2 (not NCT), one on MN, one at Gp Surgery, 16 years and going strong.

Waitingfordoggo · 28/12/2023 20:58

18 years for us. Seven couples and all still in touch, although one of the Dads very sadly died a few years ago. I think some of the women meet up reasonably often- especially those who live closer to each other. I live a bit further away now so don’t see them often but speak to them fairly regularly in a WhatsApp group and try to meet up with them all at least once a year. I’ve always felt really lucky that we gelled so well despite different ages and lots of different characters and viewpoints in the group! The men bonded as well as the women and have had solo boys’ nights out.

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GlasgowGal82 · 28/12/2023 20:59

Ten years and counting here. We don't see each other as regularly as we did during maternity leave, but we do catch up 3-4 times a year. They are some of my best friends.

Ilovelemonandsugarpancakes · 28/12/2023 21:07

I'm still really close friends with 4 of my NCT ladies they're some of my dearest friends

2003unbearable · 28/12/2023 21:19

I’m four years on from NCT. One of our group introduced us early on to her friend who also had a newborn at the time, and I’m close friends with that friend plus two of the original NCT group, all four of us live very near to each other and have close in age second babies too and we socialise quite a lot, including husbands. Three other couples who live further out (including the couple who introduced us to non-NCT close friends) we occasionally see and still invite to the eldest kids’ birthday parties but probably won’t carry that on when they all start school next year. Another couple moved far away so we don’t see them now, and another ghosted us after a while - not sure if that was to do with the group itself or because the arrival of second babies was painful for them.

Mardyybum · 28/12/2023 21:22

There were only 6 couples in our NCT class. Myself and another girl were the first to drop off, we have both lived in the area all our lives, already have friends and family here. I didn’t really feel like I gelled with any of the girls and the only thing I had In common with them was that we happened to have babies at the same time.
3 of the other couples have remained friends - they had all moved to the area and didn’t really know anyone else so I think it is more of a friendship of convenience - I’m very surprised that they’ve sustained the friendship because they seem like the unlikeliest bunch!
4 of us chose the same nursery so I do see them but haven’t socialised with them since maternity leave over 2 years ago.

StillWantingADog · 28/12/2023 21:24

We (8) saw each other quite a lot during mat leave, and then my second mat leave overlapped with some of theirs so a fair bit then too.

I don’t see or speak to 4 any more however I am still in touch with the other 3 and our eldest kids are 10! We see each other a few times a year and two of them live very close and see each other all the time. I’m a few miles away so not that often.

StillWantingADog · 28/12/2023 21:26

Forgot to add the one I’m closest to actually gave birth at the same hospital about 3 hours apart and we were each other’s first visitors! Our eldest sons will always be birthday twins.

Sdpbody · 28/12/2023 21:32

Only a few weeks, the mums in my group were nothing like me... I was not their cup of tea.

Ineedanewsofa · 28/12/2023 21:35

Nice group that met up regularly in the first year, however I was the only one who went back to work full time so couldn’t make any of the meet ups as they were all in the week. We also lived the furthest out, so I gradually got dropped - not in a nasty way, but I always had to say no so eventually they stopped asking.

YouveGotAFastCar · 28/12/2023 21:36

All 8 of us still talk probably at least once a week; and most of us meet up weekly (although not always all together, depends on work!). The babies have just turned two.

RandomQuestionOfTheDay · 28/12/2023 21:39

15 years and counting. Some of my closest friends.

doggiedoodah · 28/12/2023 21:39

One of my closest friends I met at ante natal classes over 30 years ago . Didn’t bother with NCT .

hellsBells246 · 28/12/2023 21:53

Still going 20 years later!! One has dropped out, one has died 🥲

morechocolateneededtoday · 28/12/2023 22:00

Got extremely lucky and almost 8 years on, I call them my best friends. We speak daily, go on holiday together and some of the children are in school together. Being a parent just wouldn’t have been the same without them by my side. It is absolutely luck - our group all subscribed because we wanted to make friends and have others to share the experience with. Everyone was invested and made the effort to chat and meet up, even after we all went back to work. It started off as women who’ve happened to have a baby at the same time and I would say the true friendships developed after babies turned 1 and we started meeting up without them.

A couple are bit more distant and choose when to dip in and out but the group has stayed inclusive and they’re always invited.

grafittiartist · 28/12/2023 22:00

20 years here. Feel very lucky.

SaturdayGiraffe · 28/12/2023 22:05

8 couples. 1 set never spoke and left (moved away) instantly.
1 set we message weekly but they’ve moved countries.
1 set we message monthly but they’ve moved cities.
The rest are probably all friends but don’t include us. I’ve bumped into them on outings. Awkward.

RumbleMum · 28/12/2023 22:07

13 years here - lost touch with two of the families but the other five are good friends. We've helped each other through some really tough times.

JubileeJumps · 28/12/2023 22:12

I’m only in contact with one now. Two moved away and one dropped us which was hilarious.
She turned up for a meeting after we all had the babies with no nappies, wipes, muslins or pram. Just her and her baby who was wearing cashmere from head to toe. Then I rang her again about meeting up and she pretended she couldn’t hear me. I think us having non cashmere clad children was the reason.
But I still text the ones who have moved away and share news on our now 19yo kids. But not cashmere mum. My NCT friends were invaluable for the first year especially.

OneMoreTime23 · 28/12/2023 22:17

Our babies are now 13.

2 couples (out of 7) drifted off quite quickly (self employed and had to go back to work reasonably early). The rest of us stayed thick as thieves for at least 9 years. One couple has drifted away as they opted to homeschool and just became very insular.

The 4 of us that remain are very close, despite 2 couples moving away (3 hours ish). We still meet up regularly and holiday together every couple of years. The kids are like cousins and we mums are like sisters.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 28/12/2023 22:22

We lasted about a year with the whole group. Then I was good friends with the two I lived closest to. And another one of them but they weren't close with this lady. Of the two one couple came to our wedding in 2021. DC now nearly 11. They were a lifesaver when we were in that first year but once people started going back to work and moving away (lived in SE London) we just drifted.

minmooch · 28/12/2023 22:24

28 years and she is my best friend.

AnnaBegins · 28/12/2023 22:37

8 years and counting - with 4 of the original 8 couples we meet up regularly, and we know the other 3 do too, we naturally split into 2 groups quite quickly. One of "our" lot have moved away but still class them as part of our group.

ErrolTheRednosedDragon · 28/12/2023 22:44

One only met with the rest of us once after the births, one moved out of the area in the first year, another had to drop out of meeting up when she went back to work. The other three of us are still meeting for lunch a couple of times a year - the babies are just about to turn 25.

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