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Original poster

2.5 year old will not sleep

40 replies

Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 03:45

My little man’s sleep has gone out the window!

i posted the other week but just looking for some solidarity

he is suddenly crying at bedtime, and for hours in the night - he’s so tired!!

I know it’s not illness or anything, he’s angry when I leave and just shouting crying. But then I’ve tried gentler methods and it doesn’t work - also we don’t want to co sleep.

tonight’s night was, down in bed for 7, two hours or crying and crashed at 9. Woke midnight, 3.5 hours of crying, crashed at 3.30am. It’s insane!!

im currently popping in and out the room every 5/10/15 mins to tuck him in, but he sits up and shouts and screams mummy I don’t want to go to bed, get me out!

tried talking to him in the day, he won’t tell me if anything’s up. Clearly a sleep regression but I’m struggling to cope now, my mental health suffers anyway but I am crying for hours on end!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 06:43

x

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 26/12/2023 06:53

I seem to remember he is still having a nap that you’ve capped at 45 mins is that right?

Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 07:06

Hi!

yes nap of 45 mins around 12-12.45/1 and bedtime has been more 7 this week or 8/9 by the time he is falling sleep.

he throws everything out of his cot at night in protest too which is lovely!

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DiabeticFirstBaby · 26/12/2023 07:20

Sounds awful, my LG is 2.5 too. It's a really hard age.
Is he used to you popping in and out to settle him? Have you always done that?
Is it hard to get him to sleep at lunchtime or taking ages? If so would drop the nap!

Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 07:25

we have always popped in an out. That’s always been the method we used from 8/10 months! Through every sleep phase, unless he needs extra suppprt when poorly. So we are trying to continue, but where he is a toddler now, he throws things out his cot and also is protesting harder up to 2-4 hours at night 😴

yeah so he won’t nap in his cot, so we drive him around. Hard to tell as some days we drive home from being out in the morning and he drops off straight away, other days I have to drive him around 20 mins for him to go off.

he has always woke 5.30am so usually napped!

OP posts:
DiabeticFirstBaby · 26/12/2023 07:32

So nothing has changed how he sleeps at night then. Maybe separation anxiety then. Sleep issues are common at this age.
My LG dropped her regular nap a couple of months ago but will have a short 30 min one if really needed but she will always get sleepy in the car.
I'd try and cap nap at 30 mins and see if that helps.
It's hard as he will be knackard from not sleeping and need a nap but nap may be the issue! Has he ever not napped?

Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 07:38

We thought seperation anxiety, so whenever I do pop ins in his room at night I just give a quick cuddle with him in his cot, lay him down and tuck in and repeat sleepy phrase.

so he’s not napped on a few childminder days! Usually in bed by 6/6.30om those days but that was before this regression.

toddlers are tough!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 07:40

Oh also he naps in the cot at my mums, so only protests the cot with us

OP posts:
DiabeticFirstBaby · 26/12/2023 07:41

Really is. Think you will need to keep doing what you are doing but maybe try and reduce the nap to help the bedtime situ. Good luck, just remem it's a phase and will pass 😊

Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 26/12/2023 07:45

Thank you ☺️ nice to just have someone to talk to!

OP posts:
tiggergoesbounce · 26/12/2023 07:45

Is it maybe that he is ready to be in a bed and doesn't like the sides on his cot, we took the sides off our DS cotbed at 22 months and give hima grow clock so he understood morning time??

Sleep was always a minefield sometimes it was needs more of a nap sometimes not a long enough nap, so i feel for you and hope it settled itself back down.

dulydone · 26/12/2023 08:05

Sending solidarity, sleep issues are tough. I have 2 dc 2 & 4 and have had no luck in the sleep lottery with either of them. I have found with both there are always phases with sleep and hoping for you this is one that ends quickly. I think like others have suggested maybe capping the nap even more. I remember with dc 1 at this age he went through a horrible phase and I thought he had to drop the nap but was still so tired in the day. He would wake frequently wailing then be up for the day at 5am. I concluded he had molars coming that were bothering him at night but also dc1 had not long arrived so not sure if there are any big changes in your circumstances? It eventually passed and he sleeps through anything now(unlike dc 2). Anyway I think what I'm trying to say is, it's so bone crushingly tough and you can tweak things about but ultimately it will pass. Which is no use in the short term, I know, but you will sleep again Flowers

BringMeMyOodie · 26/12/2023 08:29

I personally wouldn't cap his nap. As long as he's going down early enough and awake before 2pm then I'd let him nap longer. He sounds very overtired and sleep promotes sleep in toddlers.

You say he's still in his cot. It might be time to move him to a bed instead. He might feel too confined now that he's older. I know it's a scary thought and you probably worry he'll never stay in bed but that wasn't our experience at all (which I was pleasantly surprised about).

UnravellingTheWorld · 26/12/2023 08:34

Is he having nightmares at all? At this age imagination should jave kicked in. My sister's kids, like a light switch, suddenly became afraid of the dark and started having nightmares.

LapinR0se · 26/12/2023 08:49

I would be ultra mega consistent with sleep. All sleep should happen in his cot, with super consistent sleep cues and settling.
I would drop the nap. It’s extremely tough as a transition but it will definitely help night time sleep. You’ll have to do an early bedtime like 6 or 6.30 for a while as he will be exhausted. You’ll also have the odd nap every now and then which is fine eg falling asleep in the car or buggy but don’t try and make him nap, it’s just if he happens to fall asleep. And then it should only be around 20 mins or so.

Make sure he is not waking from cold or hunger in the night. If either of those is happening, no amount of sleep training will help.

icanlovemebetter · 26/12/2023 21:15

My DS will be 3 next month. He dropped his nap at 2.5 years. So only naps when he's really tired. Try dropping the nap so he sleeps better at 6.30-7? I did that and worked for me.

Also sometimes he sleeps in our bed with us and we just transfer him to his cot in 40-45 minutes when he's fast asleep . We've done those when he's not been well.

RandomMess · 26/12/2023 21:17

I would completely drop the nap tbh.

What happens if you lay down on the floor next to him?

nomeslice · 26/12/2023 21:22

Could it be second molars coming through? I seem to remember my DD waking frequently and being very shouty around that age. It all settled when those molars all came through. Could you try some calpol to see if it makes any difference?

CharlotteWilbo · 26/12/2023 21:28

Each sleepless phase is so tough, it’s also worth remembering that Xmas sends the kids out of sorts. My 3.5YO has woke 5-6 times the last few nights but he’d been sleeping through for about 8 weeks before that. Do what you need to, what feels right, and this too shall pass x

Mamabear04 · 26/12/2023 22:45

Just a post of solidarity here and wanted to say my DD went through a sleep regression around this age too. She's 4 years now and I think that period (in hindsight) was because she started to have nightmares. It's like her brain suddenly went into overdrive and she didn't have the words to say what was wrong. I would listen to what DC is talking about during the day and ask questions to try and figure out if it could be that. She did grow out of it but we just went to her when she needed us. Sorry if that's not much help because it's brutal with a sudden bout of sleep deprivation but it will pass and it won't be forever. Maybe also check DC doesn't have an ear infection or anything like that?

Superscientist · 26/12/2023 22:45

We moved my daughter to her bed at 2 and it helped her sleep whilst she is still a poor sleeper mostly due to reflux

She will never got to sleep before 8. At 2 we did bedtime started at 7.15 PJ's, a story on the floor a beaker of oat milk and another story in bed usually a sleep between 7.45 and 8.30. Between 2y3m and 2y9m she started to drop her nap and her bed time shifted to 8.30 on days she had a nap and 7.30 when she hadn't. Now she has infrequently has a nap we start bed time at 7 and have added an extra story on days when she isn't super tired. Mostly she's asleep between 7.50 and 8.10.

She wakes 2 or 3 times asleep as she refluxes during the night and I get into bed with her, settle her and then go back into my bed. We only go in once to check on her when we go up to bed.

Original poster
Mumssupportingmums · 27/12/2023 07:32

Thank you for all your comments and ideas.

so we have tried staying in the room with him but he doesn’t go to sleep and constantly wants to get out of bed.

So we’ve been doing like pop ins in and out the room but to be honest, he gets more angry when we are in there.

he didn’t nap yesterday, god knows why so we did early bedtime and he woke once at 9 and went back off but then woke at 3am and has been up since 😭

I won’t co sleep because that isn’t our vibe, no offence to anyone who does!

but I’m really struggling to figure out what this is… it’s like he just goes, I don’t want my bed, I don’t like my bed.

ive got the cot bars on still but hesitant to take it down whilst he is going through this…

I hope it all ends soon, we are all so tired. Including him x

OP posts:
CharlotteWilbo · 27/12/2023 07:40

maybe he feels trapped as his mind had just gone through a huge developmental leap at 2.5. The cot bars will have to come off one day and when they do you’ll probably get another regression as he gets used to getting out of bed. I’d just do it now personally and see if that helps. We also got a grow clock which really worked.

RandomMess · 27/12/2023 09:13

It sounds like he doesn't need loads of sleep.

Would you share a room with him? Honestly I would take the cot sides off/move him into a bed and then have the cot mattress on the floor in your room so he can sleep there.

I completely get not wanting to share a bed (I barely tolerate sharing with DH) but a mattress on the floor in his room next to his bed/cot may be what he needs at the moment.

Separation anxiety, bad dreams, too much excitement and or change because of Christmas, some DC are just very sensitive to change.

Stair gate on his bedroom if you take him out the cot.

Swirls346 · 27/12/2023 16:22

It sounds like back molars , he must be crying for a reason

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