11m old Toddler wont sleep please help

[Mum2be0523]

Hi my little boy is almost 11m old and is continually waking through the night and waking early its making me ill im exhausted. Now he is a reflux baby so does experience a lot of pain and fussy with foods so not sure if this helps and lets not forget teething which seems constant!

he wakes at 6am without fail which is killing me and needs resettling at least 3 x per night which takes a few minutes. There are other occasions where he screams for 2 hours and wont go down at all (this causes a later wake up obviously then messes the day up more and then seems to substitue morning nap for night before) Unfortunately hes a rock to sleep baby but I have tried it all the patting putting down drowsy etc but he has a screaming fit and is near enough sick with the state he then gets into so it’s impossible to get him to self settle especially now at 11 months, he wont take a dummy either. he also throws my hand off him when I try patting him.

here is the current schedule (loosley)

6am wake
9am 1st nap- 9-10.20 (usually anything from 1 hour to 1.5 hours)
2.30/3- 2nd nap usually 1 hour
Sleep- 7.15/30

I will usually dream feed about 10.30 in an attempt to reduce the waking but seems to have no effect.

please can I have some advice I dont know if the naps are too long too short I have tried limiting them to an hour each. Iv tried 1.5 morning then 30/45 afternoon , iv tried 1 hour am then 45 afternoon nothing is working and then sometimes the last wake window is only 3.20 ish long and I read it needs to be 4. Then its as if im putting him to bed earlier which is actually meant to be better when it makes him worse and then by shortening naps etc is resulting in to long a wake window so I cant win. It looks like hes only averaging 10.30 hours at night if that due to half the time hes waking. Im loosing the will to live please can someone help.

many thanks

Absolutely not! If my 11 month old had any less than 2 1 1/2 hour naps a day he wouldn’t be able to function!

I'd say less sleep - if 1 nap - an hour tops, if 2 naps 30 mins each tops. Although with the screaming it sounds like it might be more night terrors or teething/reflux/other discomfort, than not wanting to sleep. Maybe try some calpol before bed? Other than that just being very gentle with him when he wakes, making him feel safe and comfortable.

Hi, lack of sleep sucks, sorry to hear that you are struggling. My suggestion would be to stop rocking your little one to sleep. This is a sleep association for your baby. Therefore your baby will need you to do it each time they wake. When they can go to sleep independently they will sleep through the night because they have the skills to self soothe. Good luck

Hi.
I had similar expierence. I decided to bite the bullet and take his cot from my room and put it in his brothers room (they will be sharing), from that moment months ago, slept so much better. I googled why, and it says they can sense you there and I’ll purposely wake up knowing you will see to them.
My boy (also 11 months now) will wake occasionally and I just go in, put a bottle in his hand (of milk) and walk out. I don’t stay, talk, pick him up, and he goes straight back to sleep.

he sleeps 12.5 hours a night now from 6-6.30 ish. He has very similar naps to your boy.
I put my baby in the cot in the day to nap wide awake and walk out. I did the cry it out method and would only go in aftwr 10 mins but rarely needed too, and that was to just lie him down and I’d walk out, 3 hard days of that and now he sleeps great.

good luck

I don't think it's entirely true that oh babies will always need to be fed or rocked if you do it so you need to stop, or that sleep is something that can be trained. The NHS, health visitors, midwives, round here anyway, don't recommend it. I heard that the babies are still stressed, they may learn to not cry as no one comes but still wake up which I find that thought worrying and sad.
But I'm lucky my babies sleep isn't terrible, she is always breastfed to sleep at night, she'll usually have one side and be asleep, but wake up on the first put down so will have the other side then usually go down fast asleep, sometimes she'll need rocking too. This does usually take a long time as she's not a quick feeder especially at night so I'm not usually back downstairs until 9pm, earliest has been 8pm after going up around 6.30/7. But she can self settle, it's not been 'trained' just something she started to do, she does suck her thumb. She's almost 11 months in her own room. Since 8 months she tends to wake once or twice, recently she's just been waking the once around 5-6am and since she doesn't go down very early in the evening she'll breastfeed then go back down, sometimes awake but she rolls onto her tummy as a front sleeper and goes back to sleep. I'll then either stay up if I need a shower/get ready to go out or want to have breakfast in peace, or I'll go back to bed for an hour or so and she'll usually wake up around 8.30.
Daytime sleep the first nap is rocked to sleep with music, goes down in cot for 1-1.5 hours, second nap usually breastfeeding/contact a shorter nap or she'll nap in the pram if out and about. However they have been a real struggle in the past and recently she really fights her daytime sleep but it's a phase that will pass, she's also just got her top 2 teeth through
I hope you get some more rest soon, it sounds really difficult, I try to remember I don't sleep through the night, I'll wake up to have a drink, reposition, sometimes just can't sleep and can see why a baby would call out for someone in these circumstances

Same as my little one!