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Original poster

19mo not talking. Tell me your late talker experiences please!

47 replies

Countheways · 17/12/2023 10:17

Hi there,

I’m concerned about my 19 month old son’s speech development and would love to hear from others that have been through similar.

He can only say a handful of words and even then he will only use them very inconsistently. He seems to be doing ok in other all areas of development, he’s very independent and definitely understands what you say to him and can follow instructions, but I just can’t get him talking. He has a very chatty older sister who was an early talker, and everyone tells me he doesn’t talk because she does the talking for him!

I have a call booked with Speech and Language UK in the new year so I’m going through the correct channels, it would just be great to hear from other people whose children were the same and were just late developers as right now my mind is full of what ifs!

OP posts:
Squidwardthesnail · 17/12/2023 10:42

Hi! DS1 is 4 and could only say one word (mum) until he was nearly 30 months. He's still quite limited for his age but we can have a (albeit quite broken) conversation. Some of the things he says are so funny. DP and I joke that he just wants to be a comedian and didn't bother talking til he'd managed to stock up on some good jokes. We have a long way to go, but speech and language have been so so helpful, and finally hearing him say "I love you" or being able to sometimes tell us if something hurts or he doesn't feel well is amazing. He's on a waiting list fir ASD assessment but everyone is optimistic he might well catch up. Good luck OP

FatherJoseFernandez · 17/12/2023 12:01

My DD only said a handful of words until she was 2. Around that time she gradually started talking more and now she’s 4 and never stops! All three of mine were tongue tied so I wondered if this affected it. Now they’re all a bit older there’s no issues.

Legaleagleplease · 17/12/2023 12:04

Our DS was extremely quiet as a baby. When he woke up he would simply lie there and not cry, which meant us frequently checking on him.
As a toddler he rarely spoke but appeared to have the ability to. We took him to a speech therapist who simply said he chose not to.
He is now a quiet man who has excelled academically who you cannot shut up when he is on a topic that interests him.
Fingers crossed it is the same for you.

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ZoChan · 17/12/2023 12:10

If your child is at nursery or with a childminder, ask about getting a Well Comm check done. The health visitor will be able to do it also. They won't refer to speech and language until after the second assessment is done, which is three months after the first. The waiting list for speech and language is very long so it's good to get on the waiting list asap.

In the meantime:

  • avoid questions. It's so easy to think that asking questions will help the child speak, but usually thy can get away with yes or no. Comment, not question. Narrate everything you're doing, he's doing, the cat is doing: this input of language will really help make the connections of what the words mean because he's seeing it happen in real time.
  • wait. Wait at least 10 seconds for him to answer. Especially stop other children jumping in and answering for him. Thank them but remind them you'd like to hear DS's voice. The thinking time is really important and a good habit for all to get into.
  • use wordless books to point out pictures and talk about them. Model the language of thinking, say "I wonder what..." or "I think that..." so he has those words to create thoughts
  • label his feelings: "I see that you're feeling frustrated, I think it's because..." give him the language to help understand his emotions and the context in which he's feeling them. This helps with his self regulation later as well.

(All these tips are from the most up to date training from department of education) Hope that helps!

OhmygoshREALLY · 17/12/2023 12:11

My middle DC barely said a word for ages - at his 2 year check he only had a handful of words. Didn’t string a sentence together til he was gone 2 and a half and his speech was terrible - I was pretty much the only one who could understand him til he was nearly 4 🤷‍♀️ but I was never worried because his understanding was always fine, his development in every other way was normal and he never got upset or frustrated when people didn’t know what he was saying to them, he’d just patiently try again. So I just left it and he got there no problem - by the time he started school he was still quite quiet and limited vocab but fully comprehensible. He’s 7 now and still naturally quiet but will happily chat away with no worries and is actually on the gifted & talented register at school for multiple subjects 🤷‍♀️ he has an older sister and a younger sister who both started talking before they were 1 and basically never stopped, all raised the same, just different children 🤷‍♀️ I’m sure your little one is fine OP, 19mo is still baby really! He’ll get there, no stress 👍

grumpytoddler1 · 17/12/2023 12:13

My youngest is a similar age and can also only say a handful of words. His brother was a super early talker. It hasn't occurred to me to be worried to be honest! He can do a lot more physical things than his brother (including some stuff his brother can't even do now, at age 5!) and they all learn different things at different times. He can clearly understand everything we are saying to him so I haven't been particularly worried about him. I don't think you should be worried at this age at all to be honest. If he gets to age 3 and still doesn't speak maybe worry then.

HiCandles · 17/12/2023 12:16

My DS is 19mo and sounds similar to yours in his speech ability. He can understand a lot more but we only reliably get mummy, daddy, no, dummy, bird, bee. He's said other words but not consistently. I do all the things @ZoChan recommends. He attends nursery and they have no concerns.
I am a GP and have no intention to worry or get him referred anywhere. Maybe if no progress by age 2. I wouldn't be thinking of your DS or mine as a 'late talker' at all at this stage..

Original poster
Countheways · 17/12/2023 17:02

Thank you all for your replies - it’s made me feel a lot better. And thank you @ZoChan for the tips, this is super helpful. I must admit I’m guilty of firing questions at him and need to learn to try and model my behaviour instead.

I’m probably getting a bit bogged down with development checkers and concerned that he can’t say ten words or whatever it is for his age or starting to put words together. I have family and friends with similar age babies and it’s so hard to not compare. He had a great understanding and can communicate in his own way so I guess he thinks he doesn’t need to talk yet!

OP posts:
UnravellingTheWorld · 17/12/2023 18:59

My son is now 2y 4 mo. On his 2nd birthday he had maybe 20 words, but his understanding has always been excellent. Like yours, I think he just didn't see any use from talking because I understood him when he communicated.

The DAY after his birthday, he copied 25 out of 26 letters of the alphabet. Colours followed soon after. The next week we had sentences. Basically since then it's been very quick advancement. This week he's been reciting entire [short] books. I've stopped counting how many words are in his sentences; some of them are pretty complex.

Honestly it's not time to worry just yet. It can't hurt to seek early intervention, but definitely not time to worry 💐

JWhipple · 17/12/2023 19:19

Apparently I didn't talk until I was three and then just started talking in full sentences. I did have speech and language sessions I think when I was first at primary school but I don't remember struggling with anything.

AuntMarch · 17/12/2023 19:23

Barely a word before 2.
Coming up 4.5 now, decent vocabulary and very good understanding. Had no outside support as we never saw anyone (covid), but he did attend a child minder and got some socialising in as I was a key worker. I do have a good understanding of child development though, so it wasn't lack of stimulation or anything, he just didn't really talk until suddenly he talked all the time. I don't even remember his first word which is awful!

Cyclistmumgrandma · 17/12/2023 19:33

Late talker, went to speech therapy and an NHS funded special play group at around 3 to 4. By early teens he never shut up! Now has good degree and PhD....

DenyDenyLieTillYouDie · 17/12/2023 19:37

My DD had only 2-3 words at 19 months.

All of a sudden just before 2 she began to speak in 3+ word sentences and now she's 2y2m and talks, sings, all sorts. I went in to get her out of her cot this morning and she shouted 'hello mummy, I missed you!' 😍

Original poster
Countheways · 17/12/2023 19:41

DenyDenyLieTillYouDie · 17/12/2023 19:37

My DD had only 2-3 words at 19 months.

All of a sudden just before 2 she began to speak in 3+ word sentences and now she's 2y2m and talks, sings, all sorts. I went in to get her out of her cot this morning and she shouted 'hello mummy, I missed you!' 😍

This is absolutely adorable 😍

OP posts:
Original poster
Countheways · 17/12/2023 19:42

Cyclistmumgrandma · 17/12/2023 19:33

Late talker, went to speech therapy and an NHS funded special play group at around 3 to 4. By early teens he never shut up! Now has good degree and PhD....

Wow! Love this! And the rest of the replies Thank you all!

OP posts:
TeddyBeans · 17/12/2023 19:47

My son didn't really talk until he started going to nursery at 2y5m. Nursery do a lot of modelling, describing things, adding one word to what the children says (eg big car becomes big red car) and slowly extending their vocab that way

And basically all of what @ZoChan said

NotToYou · 17/12/2023 19:54

DS1 had a couple of words when he turned 2, at around 2y4m his speech took off and was talking in full sentences straight away. His pronunciation needed some work to start with but he caught up quickly. At 5 his speech is perfect.

ZoChan · 17/12/2023 20:04

Countheways · 17/12/2023 17:02

Thank you all for your replies - it’s made me feel a lot better. And thank you @ZoChan for the tips, this is super helpful. I must admit I’m guilty of firing questions at him and need to learn to try and model my behaviour instead.

I’m probably getting a bit bogged down with development checkers and concerned that he can’t say ten words or whatever it is for his age or starting to put words together. I have family and friends with similar age babies and it’s so hard to not compare. He had a great understanding and can communicate in his own way so I guess he thinks he doesn’t need to talk yet!

You're most welcome. I'm a childminder and have worked with lots of children: the main thing to remember is that everyone is different. We all develop at our own pace.

It doesn't hurt to get the ball rolling with having assessments done when he's two, but everything I've listed is what they'll tell you to do anyway. So glad that you're feeling a bit reassured and have a bit more of a plan, going forward x

Snippit · 17/12/2023 20:08

Albert Einstein couldn’t form full sentences until he was 5. He’ll get there eventually, he’s probably taking everything in.

You feel so pressurised with the development checkers these days. I’m 56 and there certainly wasn’t anything like this back then.

HiCandles response is very reassuring for you, no need to worry at this stage.

ZoChan · 17/12/2023 20:09

TeddyBeans · 17/12/2023 19:47

My son didn't really talk until he started going to nursery at 2y5m. Nursery do a lot of modelling, describing things, adding one word to what the children says (eg big car becomes big red car) and slowly extending their vocab that way

And basically all of what @ZoChan said

Yes this! Repeating their words back to them adding vocabulary. If he doesn't use words, start just pointing out the noun, then repeat and add an adjective, then a second describing word.

Also! Don't forget about verbs. When you're walking, say I'm walking. Use the different tenses: I will walk to the fridge now, daddy walked, sister walks to the sofa. Using verbs +ing is what they well comm expects by 26 months so start using that now.

Original poster
Countheways · 17/12/2023 20:16

ZoChan · 17/12/2023 20:04

You're most welcome. I'm a childminder and have worked with lots of children: the main thing to remember is that everyone is different. We all develop at our own pace.

It doesn't hurt to get the ball rolling with having assessments done when he's two, but everything I've listed is what they'll tell you to do anyway. So glad that you're feeling a bit reassured and have a bit more of a plan, going forward x

Show quote history

🙏🏼 I thought I’d be more laid back with my second child, and in many ways I am, but I’m just very aware of milestones and development. Even though I know they all develop at their own pace!

His nursery are great and they aren’t concerned at all and have said his level of understanding is very good. I think I blame myself a little as since I’ve gone back to work I’ve worked crazy hours and haven’t spent the time with him that my daughter got at that age. Mum guilt eh!

OP posts:
Superscientist · 17/12/2023 20:19

My daughter started to speak quite early and 3 words by 10 months. She probably got up to 10 words but by 20 months she had regressed and only had a working vocab of 2-3 words and every time she picked up a new word she dropped an old one. Including mamma and dada.

We spoke with our HV and had a well comm assessment she scored ok for 12-18 months but 0 on the 18-24 months assessment. She had brilliant compression though and followed complex instructions. We did more narration and repeating words back and she stopped losing words when she gained a word but at 2 mostly communicated with pointing and had maybe 20 words that she was hesitant to use. We moved house and nursery, she had had 13 weeks without any regular childcare which didn't help. 2 months later she was communicating with words and not with pointing. Her language was still a bit behind her peers but it was hard to do comparison as she became mute around other people. At 2y6m-9m she started speaking infront friends and their children the same age as her and she came on loads. She's 3 now and we have no concerns and are planning on sending her to school at 4y 3w in September. At 2 we were very hesitant that she would struggle being a little behind and the youngest in the class.

Elisheva · 17/12/2023 20:20

Have you checked his hearing and sight?

Original poster
Countheways · 17/12/2023 20:25

Superscientist · 17/12/2023 20:19

My daughter started to speak quite early and 3 words by 10 months. She probably got up to 10 words but by 20 months she had regressed and only had a working vocab of 2-3 words and every time she picked up a new word she dropped an old one. Including mamma and dada.

We spoke with our HV and had a well comm assessment she scored ok for 12-18 months but 0 on the 18-24 months assessment. She had brilliant compression though and followed complex instructions. We did more narration and repeating words back and she stopped losing words when she gained a word but at 2 mostly communicated with pointing and had maybe 20 words that she was hesitant to use. We moved house and nursery, she had had 13 weeks without any regular childcare which didn't help. 2 months later she was communicating with words and not with pointing. Her language was still a bit behind her peers but it was hard to do comparison as she became mute around other people. At 2y6m-9m she started speaking infront friends and their children the same age as her and she came on loads. She's 3 now and we have no concerns and are planning on sending her to school at 4y 3w in September. At 2 we were very hesitant that she would struggle being a little behind and the youngest in the class.

This is really interesting as there’s some
words my son started saying that we don’t hear any more. Glad to hear your DD is doing well 💐

OP posts:
ZoChan · 17/12/2023 20:33

@Countheways it sounds like he's doing fine, and that means you're doing fine! Try not to feel guilty - you are asking for advice and help, which you wouldn't do if you didn't care!