"oooh you've got your hands full there..." grrr

[Fillyjonk]

At first, I thought it was just a conversation starter, but no, it can't be because people usually then avert their eyes and walk on quickly, as though overwhelmed by their pith and briliance, or possibly as though afraid I will say "yes, here, have one.".

I would say, in the last few weeks, pretty much EVERY stranger who has seen me out and about with my kids (4 weeks, 2 and 4) has said this.

I don't actually object to the comment especially, more that EVERYONE says it. I mean, EVERYONE. I try to buy a coffee in starbucks and I have a QUEUE of people taking their turn to say it to me.

Also, while 3 kids is hard work, its not THAT bad. And because dd2 is in a sling, and the older ones walk independently, it is not at all the case that my hands are constantly full as such.

I mean, even if they do say put, what on earth do I say? "yes, its funny because actually I just wanted a kitten"? , "But look, now I can juggle!"?

Stick tassles on yer boobs and flip 'em out for a spin saying, 'That's nothing - look at this!' that'll really impress them.

haha filly, I get that all the time.

It does get on you t*ts, totally!

Mine are generally very well behaved too.

Wonder if it'll be any worse with 4?

sorky the fact you are going for 4 gives me a lot of hope, tbh

It is funy you mention the sling though. I only have 2 but used to get this all the time but only if I had DS in a sling. Nobody EVER said it to me if he was in the pram with dd walking beside but got it loads when she was walking with me carrying ds in a sling.

its no worse with 4
but yeah the comments drive me nuts

oh i want a creme egg, is it too early

Fillyjonk, that is so funny, especially your kitten response.

Now that my two boys are at the gawky, not-so-cute ages of 9 and 12, I find myself turning into the middle-aged lady in the shops who wants to gurn at everyone's little children.

Really all I want to do is ogle the children, but there is that felt need to make some friendly comment to the mum out of politeness. Mumsnet is a great place to learn what NOT to say.

I'll add 'ooh you've got your handsful' to the list of What Not To Say. Along with 'ooh double trouble' to mums of twins.

Its funny you say that as I don't pay much attention to what strangers say to me but now you mention it I get that comment all the time. Also 'They'll be back at school soon' (well DS anyway) 'How have you managed?'
Actually as you say its not impossible having 3 and I love it when its the holidays and don't have to drag DD2 in and out the car for our 7 mile round trip shool and pre school run. i love them all jumping into bed with me in and not getting dressed till we feel like it, and I love having them around even if I don't get any housework done
Why do people always assume having children is a PIA?
BTW Fillyjonk congratulations on number 3, I remember posting on your thread when you'd not long found out and were a bit worried. It's lovely having 3 isn't it?

We need to start a thread asking what comment is acceptable during ogling.

Probably the brutally honest 'Ignore me, I'm broody' is for the best.

Should I get it printed on a teeshirt, I wonder.

I find when people say "ooh you've got your hands full to me" (which they do every day as I have DS1 who has just turned 2 and DTs who are 9 weeks) they think they are being very original. But it literally is what everyone says if they say anything.

I don't mind it tho, I am still feeling proud and want to show off my lovely twins and gorgeous DS1 . Everyone always says it in a friendly way.

how about "what a lovely family"
that should be acceptable
I agree overt ogling seems inappropriate so people feel the need to say something inane
I have done it myself
and used to piss off parents of twins before I nannied for twins and realised that EVERY bugger in the whole town feels the need to stop you and say "oooooh TWINS!!!"

I get that all the time. I have 4 dc two big lads of 16.5 and 12.5 and 2 dd's who are 3.5 and 1.5.

Old folk can be nice tho and sometimes say what a lovely family i have and how very lucky i am,which of course i agree with.

However you do get the other folk (young and old) who say god why did you have all them?? And the best one is when they ask if they are all by the same father(while dh and dc are there) Yes they bloody are you nosy bugger but even if they wern't it's none of your business

I can really relate to this, I get

"Oh you have your hands full"

followed by

"you had them close togther"

my reply - "they are twins"

then get

"oh double trouble/buy one get one free"

ds1 is 4.3 and dts are 11 mths (but dt2 is bigger, but not big enough to justify 9 mths gap )

yes they are well behaved - why can't people say nice stuff

i had it all the time too,
particularly when i had the dog with me too

smile.
they are only being friendly

When you have a dog with you the obligatory comment is 'Who's taking who for a walk?', if your dog's nose is more than one inch ahead of your heel, said with the same certainty that the speaker is highly amusing and original.

i never minded either

god i get with ds and dd

"oooh, TWINS"

they are 22 months apart and dd is a head shorter

i did smile the first 5000 times but now my cheeks hurt.

I have 4 DC- aged 5, 3, 18mths and 4mths and I get this all the time as well as pitying looks. Doesn't bother me in the slightest because it's true! I do have my hands full.b

List of acceptable things to say to other mothers RE their offspring

"Oh, what beautiful children"

"What lovely eyes they have - yours, I see!"

"What lovely hair they have"

"What lovely manners they have"

"What lovely temperaments they have"

"What clever children they are"

and that, I'm afraid, is about it. That's all you can say without risking offense or annoyance.

people are just trying to instigate a brief happy chat with a standard opener. Quite nice really.