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Original poster

Would you be angry at this?

39 replies

4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:04

I just wanted a chat and vent without my emotion getting caught up and mr sayings things I say I’m upset and anger my husband never goes out for nights out but his Christmas work night out last time he went last year he got covid from the night out as several people had it too and I was very early pregnant and o then it was passed to me and I actually ended up in hospital dehydrated and poorly so yes I was annoyed that he had come back from a night out giving the whole house covid our daughter got it too we was all ill at same time.

fast forward we now haven 5 week old and he’s gone out on a Christmas works do and come back full of cold spluttering and sneezing all the time he had 2 nights away as I said have another night see if you become ill again and if ok come back he said he was fine but as soon as he’s come back within hours sneezing and not well has had to go lay down. I’m really angry that my 5 week old now is exposed to it when I have tried to maintain a bubble and keep him as much as I can away from illness he still not old enough to have his immunisations. I’m I being unreasonable to feel angry?

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 03/12/2023 22:07

You’re being really unfair to expect him to stay in a bubble. There’s colds literally everywhere - work, supermarket, schools and nursery to name a few. I’m sorry you were hospitalised but did you honestly think he should never go out just in case? That’s not realistic.

CommaChameleon7 · 03/12/2023 22:10

Yes I think you're being unreasonable. There's lots of bugs about this time of year. You've said yourself he rarely goes out - it's unfortunate that he's come down with something.

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:11

I would like to add also I feel maybe more so as my husband has 3 months paternity leave since October so he isn’t around work colleagues or many people so lucky really with the being in a bubble who we interact with - with being December as we all know is bad time for colds and flu etc

OP posts:

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TheShellBeach · 03/12/2023 22:12

It isn't his fault he picked up a bug.
I think YABU.

BoohooWoohoo · 03/12/2023 22:12

Yabu - he didn’t plan to catch a cold and the bubble that he’s normally in at home will have made him more susceptible to bugs.

LucyInTheParkWithDragons · 03/12/2023 22:13

YABU. Being in a bubble is miserable!

CommaChameleon7 · 03/12/2023 22:14

Maybe that's why he's coming down with bugs as he's not being exposed to normal viruses? Easy to see the benefit of a bubble and great that he's had a good stretch of paternity leave, but easy to see why he might be susceptible now.

theduchessofspork · 03/12/2023 22:14

It’s winter - people can’t help getting colds.

Your baby doesn’t need to be in a bubble, just live normally.

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:15

@TeenLifeMum thanks I just wanted an opinion I’m just feeling annoyed and didn’t want to vent it out to him because I felt maybe it was wrong in doing so, so just wanted others opinions. I didn’t think he would never go out just was abit apprehensive over the works do again but I was fully supportive of him going and having a good time it’s just because he’s come back ill again spreading germs I know it sounds off but it comes from a place of fear of me getting ill or baby especially with baby being 5 weeks. I appreciate your honest response x

OP posts:
Amammai · 03/12/2023 22:15

YABU

imagine if this was the other way around and he was telling you off for going out and getting a cold! It’s quite controlling behaviour. You’re bound to feel a little anxious with a new baby, and no one wants to see their little ones getting poorly but you can’t keep up this ‘bubble’ forever!

If you had a second child, they will get colds even earlier as they are exposed to all the germs siblings get at nursery/school etc. If baby has no underlying health issues, then they will pick bugs up and shake them off every few weeks IME.

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:16

@CommaChameleon7 yeah he only goes out works Christmas dos thanks for your response glad I come on here for peoples honest opinions x

OP posts:
FloweryName · 03/12/2023 22:17

YABU.

If he’s living in a bubble most of the time until now it was inevitable that he’d pick up something as soon as he interacted normally with people again. Like you said, this time of year is the time for colds and flu. It’s normal.

OhHowTheDogsStackUp · 03/12/2023 22:18

Sorry, but YABU. Colds are a fact of life. We can't spend all our time hiding indoors in case we catch one.

I could understand wariness or concern, but anger is completely uncalled for.

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:19

@Amammai yeah you’re right our other child is older so isn’t exposed to school and nursery’s etc but if they were they would more likely be ill. Yeah I guess it’s just a irrational annoyance or bringing illness back but obviously dont
want to stop him going out on the Christmas do I was all for it , just unfortunate he become ill again and it’s made me feel annoyed (yes agree unreasonable place to feel annoyed) xx

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 03/12/2023 22:19

YABU he goes out once a year, it wasn’t his fault you got covid, it’s just life! People get bugs, people need to live their lives. Make sure he washes his hands and keeps away from the baby if possible.

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:21

@OhHowTheDogsStackUp maybe anger was the wrong word more annoyance that it’s happened again I haven’t voiced anything it’s just feeling that annoyance / fear-wary / upset

OP posts:
MrsHarrisAParis · 03/12/2023 22:25

Congratulations on your baby!
You have a 5 week old, you're allowed to be a bit UR. Considering he hasn't been in work since he's on paternity leave, I'm surprised he went to the Christmas night out especially when you're anxious about the baby's health. Yy some bugs can't be avoided but since Covid lots of people are having to reconsider what risks they're taking in the winter.
But there's no point being angry. He didn't pick up bugs on purpose.
(I probably feel different from most people because we have vulnerable family members and the last few years have been a constant juggling act regarding which risk we can take).

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:27

@TeaKitten i wish he had just stayed in the hotel I would of been fine with that but now I’m with the baby on my own again doing all the looking after and night feeds every 2 hours because he doesn’t want to hold the baby while sneezing and feeling ill but then I would of preferred him atleast to stay away and not in our bedroom close proximity to both of us

OP posts:
OhHowTheDogsStackUp · 03/12/2023 22:27

4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:21

@OhHowTheDogsStackUp maybe anger was the wrong word more annoyance that it’s happened again I haven’t voiced anything it’s just feeling that annoyance / fear-wary / upset

I can understand that. It must feel inevitable at this point.

TheShellBeach · 03/12/2023 22:27

I don't really understand why you're keeping the baby and yourself in a bubble, OP.

TeenLifeMum · 03/12/2023 22:28

You are allowed to be a bit irrational with a newborn (natural instinct to want to protect) so don’t be hard on yourself, but also don’t be hard on dh. Lots of hand washing. Hope you manage to stay healthy op.

buckeejit · 03/12/2023 22:29

Go easy on yourself OP. Congratulations on the baby & just try to stick out the next few days a bit distanced from him if that makes you feel better. You can't predict these things but your emotions will be haywire & maybe disproportionate right now. Hope he's better soon & you & dc escape it 💐

Original poster
4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:32

@TheShellBeach when I say bubble I just mean because my newborn is so young and vulnerable because oh his immune system he hasn’t had immunisations as of yet that I have been keeping just our daughter and the grandparents and myself and husband around baby I’m not taking him to see extended family yet I’m not mixing with a bunch of different people of that makes sense? So I call that being in like a family bubble, I’m recovering from c section I’m only nearly 5 weeks into it so I’m not getting in the car and driving everywhere yet

OP posts:
pictoosh · 03/12/2023 22:38

No I wouldn't be angry. Colds are part and parcel of life.

pictoosh · 03/12/2023 22:41

4658Lou · 03/12/2023 22:32

@TheShellBeach when I say bubble I just mean because my newborn is so young and vulnerable because oh his immune system he hasn’t had immunisations as of yet that I have been keeping just our daughter and the grandparents and myself and husband around baby I’m not taking him to see extended family yet I’m not mixing with a bunch of different people of that makes sense? So I call that being in like a family bubble, I’m recovering from c section I’m only nearly 5 weeks into it so I’m not getting in the car and driving everywhere yet

Presumably grandparents visit/see/pass other people in the street, shops, work, friends.
Your bubble is illogical. You must see that.

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