Leaving child on their own over night

[Picapic]

Hi all,
looking for some advice and maybe contacts who could help. I’m not a parent myself but have a great little niece. My brother is raising her by himself because her mom left them both shortly after the little one was born. She hasn’t been involved at all since then.
My brother loves his daughter dearly but I think she is often left alone for long periods of time. I take her when possible but I know that she is sometimes left alone over night. I’ve tried to explain to my brother that he can’t do this because she will be scared and might not be safe but I think he doesn’t get it. We grew up in a very dysfunctional family and I was practically raised by my brother. He thinks that she will be ok because he was but I disagree. I struggle from anxiety and depression myself and I think it is partially because of the way we grew up.

Im looking for some practical advice how to help more, and how to make him realise the impact that all of this might have on his daughter. She is soon turning 8 btw.
Thank you.

You need to contact social services. Your brother is neglecting your niece.

He regularly leaves a 7 year old alone overnight? What is he doing? Working, or socialising?

You could be very clear with him that social services are highly unlikely to consider this appropriate, and that it would be considered child neglect. As you know about it, you need to speak to social services as your niece is currently not safe at home.

I thought you were going to say she was 16/17! That is absolutely not ok at 7. I’d be reporting to SS.

Of course its neglect. I'm assuming you know that and are just looking for affirmation.

Jesus Fucking Christ

A 7yo alone overnight. Is he on drugs?

Social services. Your niece is at risk and if your brother can't cope he needs to say so.

You should contact SS they will advise him and help him.

What everyone else says. Anything could happen. I know of a number of people whose homes burned down when they were out due to faulty appliances. She will be traumatised by being left alone, even without the risk to life and limb.

Does he lock the door to make sure she’s safe left alone?
How would she get out in the event of a fire? (Remember the lights are often the first thing to go.) etc., etc.

NSPCC publish this guidance. Read it through and then discuss it with him.

She is way too young to be left alone overnight.

A 7 year old should rarely, if ever, be left alone.
Overnight is absolutely bonkers, and needs reporting.
It is about a decade before your niece can be left alone overnight.

Of course I know that it’s not ok. I’m trying to make him realise that it isn’t though. SS will not take her into care right away, is this correct?

Reported post.

If it is genuine there is a child at severe risk.

It's unlikely, unless they thought your niece was in immediate danger. Presumably her home is otherwise appropriate, with her own room and bed, with bedding and toys, and she is fed properly and regularly?

Where is he going to leave her alone so often?

Don't believe this is a true post.

And of course, he immediately stops leaving her alone. Obviously.

Of course she will be taken into care. She is at risk.

I would also contact the police. She is in danger.

Of course she will put into care.. she is at immediate risk, what if there was a fire?!?
What is your brother doing when he goes out?

Neglect on every level is something happened and the house caught fire or neighbours reported she would be removed from his care and he would be charged with all sorts, neglect, endangering a child... the list goes on!

You need to report this now! As it appears talking to him hasn't helped or stopped his behaviour

Oh, this is terrible - a 7 year old can't be left like this. He doesn't sound like a bad person - after all he brought you up. But he must be desperate though. What is he going out to do?

I think you need to tell him that there is an absolute red line here, and that even if he was ok that doesn't mean that what happened to him was ok. This is clearly neglect.

Then the question is how to get him the help that he needs to look after his child appropriately.

We don't leave our 15yo alone overnight
He's independent and responsible and babysits his 7yo brother even in the evening but we would not leave him alone overnight, we always come back by midnight. It's not safety - I'm sure he's safe but more the security of him knowing that we are there if he needed anything.
Next year he will if he wants be able to stay at home overnight by himself but that's following some serious conversations and knowing that there is always someone close by he can call.
He will not be left in charge of 7yo overnight until he's 18 (& 7yo will be 10)

8 years of age is FAR too young to be left at night. Could you help out at all? Otherwise, your brother will lose his daughter when Social services become involved (and they will, when school, neighbours report him).

Perhaps you could ring the NSPCC advice line for some confidential advice or get your brother to do the same?
There may be genuine reasons he's struggling and has nobody to help and no blueprint for what safe parenting looks like. He might not be aware of entitlement to benefits/child maintenance payments from the ex/help with cost of childcare that would help. And even if it is felt she's best living where someone can give her the supervision she needs, it won't be forever as she will grow up, and he would still be able to see her for visits meanwhile when he can give her his full attention.

This. That poor little girl.