How do you play with an 18 month old?

[AwkwardPaws27]

I know this sounds like a stupid question, & I feel like a failure just asking it, but how do you play with a young toddler?

DS is almost 18 months & I feel like I just trail around after him clearing up the carnage. His favourite activities are trying to climb the furniture, working out how to open the baby gates, pulling the books off shelves, emptying the pan drawer and taking the lids on and off pens.

I struggle to get him to sit still to look at a book together during the day now (a month or so ago he adored lift the flap books). I've tried introducing chunky wooden puzzles, no interest. I might get him to engage with stacking rings or a montessori carrot game (different size carrots which fit different holes in a wooden block) for a minute or two. He'll scribble on paper for a minute maximum.

He's a tiny whirlwind & I adore him but I feel clueless as to what I should actually be doing with him. Friends with similarly aged children seem to be sitting with flashcards learning animal sounds but there's no chance of getting him to sit down!

He is in childcare Mon-Thurs. We went to softplay (over an hour) this morning, then lunch & a nap, then to the park this afternoon (to walk our dog so DS was mostly in the pushchair but had 5 mins on the swings, a couple of gos on the slide and walked for around 5 minutes). Then dinner & trying to have quiet play before starting bedtime but he's just scaling the furniture...

Some children are just different. My son would sit and listen to me reading books from 12 months, at 18 months could do some puzzles and play cars etc.
My 2nd is 14 months and pretty much what you describe. She won't listen to books, tries to tear the pages or chuck the book away. I can get some small attention span on toys where you put the ball in the hole or push down the animals etc. But generally it's her crawling around, wanting to go upstairs etc.
I really wouldn't worry, sounds like you are doing a good job ☺️ we spend a lot of time out the house too and I think that's great.

My DD is 18m. I take her out every day to some kind of structured activity, which takes the pressure off me to think up ways to entertain her. At home we do lots of reading (she chooses book and brings them to me to read), play with musical instruments and sing (shakers, drums, bells etc), scribbling with chalk or felt tip, Vtech/Leapfrog toys with sounds and buttons, stacking rings and blocks, and any other toys she can find (we have loads for older sibling). She'll sit and listen to stories or watch me showing her a toy, actually she's pretty good at sitting and holding attention as she comes along to theatre shows with her big sister (eg 2 hour panto).

She loves rummaging in cupboards and wardrobes and I either let her get on with it while I'm doing stuff, or we chat about what she's found.

Everything they do at this age is play but it's also learning even if it causes lots of mess. Climbing on furniture is good because it builds gross motor skills.

I agree with PP - everything they do is play and everything is learning. Maybe stretch out the dog walk and let your little one get out and explore? Collect some leaves, sticks and stones. Describe them. Use them to make shapes or faces.
We liked a good sing - something like sleeping bunnies or roly poly which has actions. That could take up 20 minutes on a really good day...
I'd say keep trying with your current activities - sometimes they're fascinated and sometimes they couldn't care less.

And ultimately let them lead the way - as long as it's safe and they're happy let them spend an afternoon bashing pots and pans or opening and closing cupboard doors.

Massive opportunity for language acquisition at this stage

So talk, talk, talk

Mine was like yours and still can be at age 3. Just wanted to explore explore explore. No interest whatsoever in toys. So explore is what we did. It’a a tough age but actually DS’ complete apathy to toys works in my favour now. He’d far rather go out somewhere interesting on our days off together then stay at home. I agree with a PP as well - narrate everything. Not doing ‘typical play’ certainly hasn’t held DS’ speech back.

Around that age, we started introducing more interesting toys that had skills involved that either he could have a go at or he could watch us do it. So we did building and roleplay with a Brio train set, duplo and some Fisher Price little people sets. Maybe one of them would capture his imagination and hold his interest?

My eldest is 3 and will only just "play" now, and wants to be play. Prior to that, was perfectly happy basically taking her toys out of the drawers and moving them about and coming to me periodically for cuddles. Or following me about chatting while I did my jobs. Don't stress about doing stuff specially for them to be honest, I've found it comes later. My second I don't even bother, I just occupy the same space chatting away to her, and sometimes "play" by stacking cups or whatever but it's quite rare!

He sounds great.

Definitely don't bother with flash cards, can't imagine anything more tedious for children or parents.

Sounds like you could tire him out more, more time in soft play, more time out of the pushchair in the park etc. Let him rampage where it's safe to do so!

Mine were like that at that age, several years later one still is, but one likes sitting quietly drawing for hours.

Toddler music classes on YouTube can be good for something a bit active to entertain them. Or do you have any simple gymnastics things at the leisure centre?

They key to playing with small children is to follow their lead. Watch him and see what he likes and find a way to join in and extended that game for him. Don't try and push your own preference of books/puzzles etc on to him.

So, he loves climbing! Can you take the cushions off the sofa to build a fort/something for him to climb on? Use cushions to make stepping stones and play 'floor is lava'. Get him some softplay shapes and build an assault course (or just use stuff from around the house). Kick a ball. Throw a ball. Chase him. Hold his hands and let him jump on a cushion/trampoline/yoga ball/the floor. Get pull-back vehicles and let him chase them down the hall. When you're walking the dog, let him out of the buggy and let him walk/explore. Hold him upside. Swing him about. Swimming might be a good option too.

Oh and talk constantly while doing all this stuff. Narrate what he's doing, what you're doing, describe things you see, ask him questions and leave space for home to reply (even if he can't yet).

My DS has just turned 2 and he's just like yours! He loves running around, climbing and generally causing chaos 😂 I just roll with it and try and get him outside to burn the energy off as much as possible.

Throw a paper ball at them. Its hours of entertainment. Or even better, give them an empty cardboard box.

My horsey sister used to say children need lunging. Wear them out with as much outdoor exercise as possible.
Talk all the time. Keep up a constant commentary on everything you do, why you do it. Name everything, colours, size, sounds. Play music and dance or jump about.
Build a den under the table with blankets and sheets and put all the teddies in there. Mine were 2 years apart and once my youngest was that age the two of them did that for years.

Empty cardboard box! We had our carseat box for 6months until it totally ripped and we could play in it no more 🤪

Blow up a balloon to play with.

Play with a ball.

Get a pull-back car toy and send it racing across the living room/kitchen/bedroom/whatever floor.

Jump on the bed.

Have a sock fight (throw balled up socks at each other).

Paint.

Walk to the postbox to post paintings to grandparents/family.

Spend a lot of time outside.

Challenge them to catch a pigeon or a.squirrel at the park.

Get a scooter.

Get a frisbee.

Do some baking.

Make a fort at home.

Make a den outside.

Take a toy and make a den for the toy.

Play floor is lava.

Go to playgroups at local church hall type stay n play things.

Go out for a babyccino.

Go to the library.

Play with bubbles - pop them with different body parts.

Get some big chalk and draw on the pavement or wall outside.

18m-2y is the best age! ❤️

My DD is slightly older than your DS but sounds extremely similar. She is rarely still and doesn't really play with toys much, can't even take her out in the pram for long as she gets bored.
We do a lot of running and jumping, she likes playing with the football etc. I put lots of cushions on the floor and she does her 'gymnastics' while I try not to have a nervous breakdown at her various near misses. She's so different to my first who has always played lovely with her toys but she's a good laugh!

Oh and set up an obstacle course!! Indoors or outdoors ❤️

Jump in puddles obviously, too.

And for when you're out of energy - I highly recommend Kids Zumba on YouTube 👌

Thank you all for these brilliant ideas, definitely some good ones for now, & some for in a few months he hopefully develops a concentration span!

He's a late walker - started 2 months ago & only really getting steady the last couple of weeks - so today was the first time I let him have free range in the park & I had to curtail it as he kept making a beeline back to the swings accompanied by the hound, dogs aren't allowed in the play area but neither of them can read the sign, & stopping him caused floods of tears. I'd love to engage him in finding leaves etc but he just does what he wants & ignores me when he's exploring.

We have swimming on Saturday mornings, and there's a fortnightly dad's playgroup that DH will take him to tomorrow too, but I'll try for another park trip in the afternoon.

Messy activities like painting, baking etc - how do you manage that when they are liable to leg it after 2 minutes? (I'm definitely not adverse to DS get mucky, but I don't fancy repainting any walls....)

He does look at books at bedtime - he likes turning the pages, lifting flaps etc - but the window between "too awake to sit still" & "overtired" seems to be getting smaller.

Thank you for reminding me about the importance of talking to him - I've always tried to but I do feel like I'm being completely ignored when he is playing/exploring recently but I will continue to persevere with it.

Have you tried colouring? My 20mo is obsessed at the moment

Also just to add - I'm sure you're doing fine x

I've set up a play area at the back of our living room with some toys. My 18 month old loves to play with duplo Lego, a busy board, musical toys (drum, recorder etc) and toys that light up and make noise eg he has a vtech fire engine he adores. I sit and play with those with him and he loves the interaction.

I tried baking with mine helping at around 15 months, was pointless. Tried again today at 23 months and she actually was engaged for 10 mins. Following me to get ingredients, helping to stir different things. But tbh she was only just old enough to have bothered. And I think it'll be another 3 or so months before I'll try again.

I think at 18 months (she started walking at 16 months), it was following her around. She'd like a good 15mins on the swings sometimes twice a day. She enjoyed sitting on a little 4 wheel car & me pushing her along. She liked to play in a sandpit, either out at parks or at home. Water play has been a huge hit from around 12 months and still is at almost 2yrs. Even just 1/3 fill a washing up bowl and put a few Stacking cups pr tea set cups in.

She had no interest in scribbling or anything at 18 months. It's only been the last month or 2 she's started wanting to spend 10mins 'drawing', or any type of craft.

She's loved messy play since 12 months or younger tho, but I do either at messy play group sessions, or she does at nursery tbh.

Did lots of walks (her not walking much herself) by animals or in forests etc. Farms etc too.

Lots of nursery rhymes and singing/dancing together too. Plus rolling around on the floor together being silly, tickling her and making her laugh and/or squeal!

Those old fashioned wooden blocks?