How do you play with an 18 month old?

[AwkwardPaws27]

I know this sounds like a stupid question, & I feel like a failure just asking it, but how do you play with a young toddler?

DS is almost 18 months & I feel like I just trail around after him clearing up the carnage. His favourite activities are trying to climb the furniture, working out how to open the baby gates, pulling the books off shelves, emptying the pan drawer and taking the lids on and off pens.

I struggle to get him to sit still to look at a book together during the day now (a month or so ago he adored lift the flap books). I've tried introducing chunky wooden puzzles, no interest. I might get him to engage with stacking rings or a montessori carrot game (different size carrots which fit different holes in a wooden block) for a minute or two. He'll scribble on paper for a minute maximum.

He's a tiny whirlwind & I adore him but I feel clueless as to what I should actually be doing with him. Friends with similarly aged children seem to be sitting with flashcards learning animal sounds but there's no chance of getting him to sit down!

He is in childcare Mon-Thurs. We went to softplay (over an hour) this morning, then lunch & a nap, then to the park this afternoon (to walk our dog so DS was mostly in the pushchair but had 5 mins on the swings, a couple of gos on the slide and walked for around 5 minutes). Then dinner & trying to have quiet play before starting bedtime but he's just scaling the furniture...

Ha OP, I felt similarly this morning when I came downstairs with my 16 month old DS and his 4 year-old sister at 7.15 am.

He only naps once a day, for 1-2 hours depending how lucky I am, and I just don't understand how I'm supposed to keep him entertained for more than 10 hours, without resorting to a lot of Baby Einstein on a screen!

He can't walk yet (though can climb stairs 😵‍💫) and is at the trash-everything-stage, which just makes everything very difficult. Whilst I'm trying to load the dishwasher he'll be grabbing at the dirty plates and chucking the dirty cutlery on the floor.

He has lots of toys, and will play with them for 10-15mins at a time sometimes, but there's still an awful lot of hours left in the day, and I have several older children also, and a lot of washing/cooking/house stuff to get through which just feels impossible with a marauding almost-toddler in tow! And a cold wet day feels even more difficult and never-ending...

@AwkwardPaws27
When you're at the park, let them run off and explore. Take them to dog friendly places and avoid places that might cause meltdowns e.g. if you know you can't go to a particular park with the dog then don't go there.
Don't tell them to find you a leaf, explain to them what they have found instead. Follow your child's lead, listen and be their vocals, don't direct them.

He'll scribble for a few seconds with crayons or chalk but not keen on them, much prefers pens but more interested in taking lids on and off than colouring to be honest. Also likes running off with an uncapped pen so I'm not so keen on this. Tried the "magic colouring" sets with the pens that only work on the special paper, but again more interested in the lids than actually colouring really.

The only "play" with those so far is tipping the entire container out, then charging off to tip over something else... might hide the odd one in my shoes

@HBGKC very very relatable. Sounds just like us a month or so ago. It is a bit better now he is walking - he's less frustrated - but softplay has been brilliant on wet days (our local one has an off-peak membership option which is cheaper, definitely getting our moneys worth!).
Does your DS ever climb into the dishwasher? DS is intent on it! Hoping I can redirect the interest to helping load/unload in future, haha.
I really struggle to get anything else done whilst looking after him - even making his lunch is a challenge - as he's either climbing the furniture or hanging off my leg crying 😢

Mine is the same age and we spend loads of time outside the house. Playgroups /swimming/soft play/library/ grocery shopping/park. He's happy going with me on errands and taking my older children to activities. He will play for short periods with his cars, taking Lego/knex apart and he has a toy microwave that he enjoys. He similarly won't let me read to him any more (for more than a couple of seconds). He also loves taking pen lids on and off and not v interested in drawing! He loves dancing and music. I can't get chores done unless he's eating (when I'll clear up kitchen/dolaundry) and I tend to cook during his nap (or on nursery days). Like others have said, I wouldn't worry too much about playing with his toys with him, just take him out loads and talk to him and dance with him etc

See, if I'm spending a lot of time out of the house, it means I'm getting nothing done IN the house... and I have a LOT to do, that I'm always behind with already, even without a toddler wrecking piles of x, y or Xmas quickly as I can make them.

And yes, @AwkwardPaws27, mine does also like climbing onto the open dishwasher door! Particularly when there's any kind of dirty substance pooled on it

Dance party. Disco light ball. Bubble machine. Wobble boards. Balls for travel cot/pop up tent. Baby yoga.

My first was like this. My home is still full of crash mats, ball pits, rocker chairs etc as at almost 5, he is still like this. Does not stop. His baby sister is like a mythical being at 21 months - she wants to read story after story, look after her dolls and stuffies, do colouring. She does not need to be endlessly moving, climbing, jumping. I love ds to the ends of the earth and he is hilarious and sweet, but she is so much more relaxing to be around!

One thing that engages them both is a tuff tray full of rainbow rice (homemade) and cars/figures/cups and spoons.

X, Y or Z, not Xmas!

You sound like you're doing a grand job

They're all different, as I'm sure you know already. My DD was very calm and quiet at 18mo: she loved playing with small world toys, teddies, drawing and colouring, stickers, reading, blocks... She liked going to the park and so on, but she could tell the difference between when it was time to run around and when it wasn't. She was also very tidy and loved putting things away. She's now 9 and still very similar.

My DS was more like yours at around 18mo! I spent most of my time picking up after him (trying to encourage him to help, which sometimes worked!), and trying to stop him hurling himself off of things. This was in 2020 too, so we didn't really have anywhere to go to burn off his energy! And he dropped his nap very early (20mo) so the days were LONG and often filled with tired tantrums. He did love wheels, though. Vehicles kept him amused for ages. And I think he had some very basic Duplo by that point, mostly in an attempt to get him to leave DD's Lego alone. He's 5 now and has calmed down a lot, but still has his moments.

It can be a rough age at times OP, but you're doing great

To interact with DC at that ag, I used tojust be really silly. I got a massive kick out of making them laugh. I'd do stupid things like say: Let's go to the park. i just need to put my coat on. Then I'd try to put their tiny coats on. Or I'd put wellies on my hands and call them gloves.

But most of the time, I just liked being out and about with them. My two wouldn't have dreamed of sitting still with flash cards. But they liked going to a city farm and they could learn animal noises there. Or just running around a park, kicking up leaves, feeding ducks, having a go on the baby swing

My 18mo ball of energy has 82 (yes, am very familiar with the amount) magnets on the lower half of the fridge - we've got a massive selection of animals, cars, trees, flowers etc (from the works, about £3) and she spends a lot of time taking them all off one by one, running across the kitchen to put them in a bowl, then bombing back and forth putting them all back on again.

We make the right noises for the right magnet (or sniff the flowers) and she often detours round the house to show whoever's in which magnet is off on its jollies at that moment.

Whole process takes about an hour 😂

Remove all the other toys in the room. Have baskets which are hidden and bring out one basket a day. Honestly this makes SO much difference.

I hadn’t done this in a while as they just accumulate and you forget. Lost the plot with it a few weeks back. Removed everything and left a few puzzle toys. Within 2 days he can now sort colours, sort shapes, use the sorter properly, and can do puzzles.

Two weeks later and things are accumulating again. It is a constant battle of staying on top of it but it does make a huge difference!