Does she really mean a fiver

[Hannahgrace]

DD invited to a party, on the invite it says no presents but if you want to put £5 in a card. I spoke to another Mum who said that £5 is too little and that really you need to give £10?
So confused, don't want to give too little but then think it's silly to put £10 when she clearly said £5 on the invite. This is our first party so not sure if this is normal? What would everyone else do?

£5 - whoop!

I would put £5 in the card. Here, it's £10 for a best friend, £5 for a classmate roughly, some people don't give anything and others give something like a 200g bar of dairy milk etc (primary school)

I’ve been to parties like this. I think it’s ok to put either 5 or 10 in.

Good idea Dino, top up with a bag of haribo!

I'd go for the £5.

If 10 to 20 kids have been invited - thats enough to buy a decent toy.

I’d put £5 in a card if I had a £5 note. I would only put £10 in if I didn’t actually have a £5 not because I think £5 is too little.

Of course £5 is fine, it's what the mum specifically said! Wish that happened around here, would make parties much easier

I’d put £5 in a card.

I wish more people sent invites like that, but I couldn’t bare to do it myself as I would feel guilty asking for money. It makes things cheaper all round though and much better for the planet.

If it says £5 I’d put £5, there are years of parties ahead of you and costs can escalate very quickly if everyone aims for the upper end of a range.

I try to go £10 but it depends a lot. One of my DC just has a few friends and is too old for class parties so it's not more than 5x a year I need to come up with money, but my younger DC there are lots of class parties. Not the whole class but maybe half, so 15x £10 is a lot of money to us, especially if it's not a close friend.

DS birthday recently
70% gave £10
20% gave a small gift
10% gave £5

he was over the moon with all

It says £5 she means £5 not £10. 10 kids all put £5 in a card £50 is a decent amount to buy something the child actually wants/needs rather than getting 10 gifts to the value of £10 each that they don't need I think it's a great idea and £5 is more than enough. Especially as the mum actually said no gifts.

Give £5, don't fuel the arms race.

Also, the mum is not going to remember who gave what. Think how much there is to keep track of when organising a birthday party and all the other birthday stuff, on top of everyday life. She's not going to be seeing you at the school gates thinking "Ah, there's Emily's mum, the one who only gave £5, not like Daisy's mum and Lucy's mum, who both slipped in a tenner".

My son just had a party if there wasn’t a present there was £10 in a card ( not asked for) however if the mum has put a request for £5 I would see that as acceptable.

£5 is fine.

I'd give nothing. It says no present shut if you really must, give £5.

I think asking for money y is crude so I'd go no present

that other mum is just panicking and projecting, put a fiver in they birthday parents just want the friends there.

£5 was standard for younger kids parties, especially when there were lots of them and they were more “whole class”. If we bought presents or were bought presents, they were often a bit more than that.

Now ours are older, and there are just a few parties a year (end of junior school / start of high school) it’s more like £10 and a bag of sweets, or an actual decent gift for good friends if you know what they’d like. Or kids team up and get the birthday child a larger thing together (warhammer kits etc).

Give the £5 that was suggested and add a selection box or large bar of chocolate

Sounds ferment to me. I usually do £5 in a card unless it’s like a BFF. For my 5yr old this year I text everyone and said if you want to gift then a few £ in a card or sweets. I think a couple still gave presents and the rest gave money and sweets

A fiver sounds fine

I would give £10 to a best friend but £5 is fine imo.

I would usually stick £10 in a card but the mum has said £5 so I think it’ll be a 50/50 split with £5 and £10! The child won’t care note money is big money to then at that age! Give what you can afford!

£5 and some sweets

I think the parent is trying to make it clear they're not expecting a big present. You could choose to put whatever you like in, but the point is that if you just put a fiver in, the parent (and child) will be thrilled.