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Original poster

I think the doctors hate me/ think I amA hypochondriac

40 replies

Snowboardmum73 · 14/11/2023 16:55

hey,

i have never used this before - so I suppose I
using it as a way to make sure I am not going mad!

I have a lovely and sweet, nearly 5 year old girl, who has just started school.

ever since I have had her (breach wrong way, c section) she has been a mucus/y baby and prone to lots of colds. Tonsillitis and Strep A often. After 3 years of fighting the NHS they agreed she could have her tonsils out and we are on the waiting list. Getting to this point has been exhausting. I had to be admin for the process, get evidence from
doctors, wrote reminder letters, chase progress…

in the meantime she’s ill nearly every 6 weeks and today the same again, call from
school she’s got a temp but is shivering, she can’t swallow has horrible breathe - just wants to sleep. She’s been ill for two weeks , I have seen the doctors twice - they say send her to school - one ignores it and says it will go away the other gives her an inhaler. So today I call again and say - she has a fever, she looks ill and for another day doesn’t want to eat.

the doctor starts to get funny with me like I am wasting their time, like all children get ill and I should ride it out, I say I have been riding it out for nearly two weeks as I knew this would be your reaction but she can’t ride it out any longer. She’s not eating, she’s already lost weight due to the constant infections.

the doctor was rude, she refused to see her - I said she’s crying in her sleep and I am forcing calpol down her.

so in the end I say see her or I take her to a&e. Iam crying at this point to due lack of sleep because she can’t stop coughing at night and my work will kill me if I take more time off.

why do I have to fight so hard and they don’t believe you, her medical records show this is her weakness. I feel like they have decided they don’t like me and so dismiss me straight away.

inknow all kids get colds, but mine can’t fight it for some reason her immune system when it comes to ENT related issues is terrible and it turn a bad quick.

so she’s got an appointment but at the cost of me and the doctor having serious words with each other….and I just feel exhausted.

the doctors used to be great now they have this triage system they just don’t want to see you.

I just feel like everything is a battle at the moment! Sorry for the rant!

OP posts:
Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 14/11/2023 17:08

I was your DD 30 years ago. Only with chest issues not ENT. My mother fought constantly to get me seen.

In the end she paid and took me privately, at 7 I was officially diagnosed with asthma, started on an inhaler (I still take) and never looked back, I'll far less often or less severe.

If you feel she is ill which you obviously do and it sounds like she is it would be irresponsible not to keep trying to get an appointment. The phone system at the doctor's is very frustrating. Don't let them make you feel like your over reacting you know your DD best.

I hope she moves up the list soon. My friends DD is same, constant tonsillitis and waiting on the list xx

DustyLee123 · 14/11/2023 17:23

Tell the doctor that it’s affecting her school attendance. They don’t like people missing work and school.

hulahello · 14/11/2023 17:25

Could you ask to be referred to a consultant maybe given the situation? it might also be worth speaking to the practice manager, given you don't seem to be getting anywhere with your GP. Or maybe see a different GP if you always see the same one. Sounds like they are reluctant to refer you on, and it sounds as though the case could warrant it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Families General parenting
Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 14/11/2023 17:34

Thanks for all the comments - have private medical via work and I keep offering they can use it but they still need to do the referral - it’s very frustrating.

she has missed school already, Thursday night I was called into class as she’s the bottom of her class for phonics - she can’t pronounce the words as they want - i think it’s because she’s constantly blocked up and so it’s muffled. I told the school.

i will keep pushing forward! It just feels so relentless as times…she just misses so much and it’s always on the days that have a fun activities planned - typical!

OP posts:
Scoobysnack2 · 14/11/2023 17:56

I have a similar situation with my 4 year-old DD. Recurring illnesses which then cause her to not eat, she then gets more run down and more prone to other viruses etc. The GP surgery just fob me off even though her weight has stagnated for a year and still waiting for her to see dietician. I'm thinking of going private because I've had enough of the NHS not taking a child's health seriously. If you can afford it maybe it would be worth going private.

It's not fair that your DD is missing out on school and all the fun activities. They should also prioritise her if the recurring illness is affecting her ability to learn phonics. Perhaps the school can somehow liaise with the GP surgery.

I also sympathise over lack of sleep, my DD had a cough for 4 weeks which was keeping us both awake, shes only just got over that. Now she's caught another virus and the cough is already relentless, she's knackered, I'm knackered.

PaperDoves · 14/11/2023 17:57

You can pay for a private GP who will refer. If you have Bupa you can have a free GP appt via the app or you can go to a Bupa private GP for £20. Once you get the referral it will be so much easier.

Pleaseletitbebedtime · 14/11/2023 18:00

Has she had a hearing test?

Doormatnomore · 14/11/2023 18:10

This was my ds, I have no magic solution but after the tonsils came out I couldn’t believe the difference. There is hope.
he went from underweight, lots of weird conversations where I explained he was waiting like an adult but lost kilos every time he got tonsillitis. After the 1st year he was 50% percentile for weight, after 2 he’d gone rather the other way.
but he barely gets a runny nose now, he got covid twice and you wouldn’t have known. I went from buying calpol twice a week to having to rush to Tesco when he injured himself because we had none.

a dr explained (when I was wild eyed and distraught) that although he wasn’t well, missing school and miserable he wasn’t dangerously ill and will get better. Drs seem to brush it off because it’s not ringing alarm bells.

Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 14/11/2023 20:19

Hey, yes she’s had a hearing test and it was okay and she’s had an eye test and that was perfect.

I think she could do with another hearing test as that was years ago when we first went to the hospital with her about her tonsils…so aged 2.

i think the school are due to do one shortly.

————-

she has been to the doctors now, they won’t give her anything but calpol and ibuprofen- said to ride it out luckily I have managed to get her to have some icecream and a cup of milk.

I don’t know, it just feels relentless, I am on the waiting list for her tonsil so hopefully in the next year it will happen - she’s not an urgent case so could be extended.

I keep my fingers crossed this time next year it’s done and she isn’t having a sore throat every few weeks!

xx

OP posts:
Sherrystrull · 14/11/2023 20:22

I was you. I pushed and pushed. It was exhausting. But when ds had his tonsils out and adenoids out it was life changing. He didn't get ill, he could breathe, he didn't have sleep apnoea, he slept well, he started to eat and became healthy. It's worth it and know you're not alone.

Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 14/11/2023 20:26

Thanks for responding - that’s good to know as she’s snores very badly, she’s doesn’t hold her breathe but the noise doesn’t sound like it’s a good nights sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 14/11/2023 20:29

Thanks for all responding, I feel so much better - it’s a shame to hear I am not alone but good to know that the tonsils out have worked as a few people tried to talk me out of it and said it could make things worse - not sure it can be that much worse at the moment!

thank you all for taking the time to message x

OP posts:
Tawlk · 14/11/2023 20:33

You’re not crazy and you’re not a nuisance! You sound just like a brilliant mom. Keep pushing and advocating for your daughter. If you feel she is sick then get that doctors appointment no matter what it takes. We all feel like this at times honestly but we are here to advocate for tiny humans and if we don’t do it no one will. You see so many horror story’s of medical negligence, people second guessing themselves, not wanting to be a nuisance. Keep doing what you’re doing X

21ZIGGY · 14/11/2023 20:33

What bloody useless doctors. Go to walk in or a&e if your gp wont see her. They get charged if you use an alternate service than gp so they wont like that.they cannot refuse to see a patient even if you were a hypochondriac.

TedWilson · 14/11/2023 20:35

Sorry you are going through this. Two tips from
Me:

  • get a zinc supplement if you can - not sure what you can get for kids but was life changing for me with tonsillitis
  • has she ever been prescribed montelukast? It's an asthma medicine but dries up the windpipe for kids prone to mucus too - again was life changing for my daughter.

Good luck.

justasking111 · 14/11/2023 20:39

You have private healthcare. @Snowboardmum73 so arrange a private GP appointment and referral and operation would be my advice.

Elieza · 14/11/2023 20:40

Once you get a referral to your private medical your work provides, can they do surgery? Or is the policy for you only not your children?

Devilsmommy · 14/11/2023 20:47

Is there another GP surgery you could register at so you can see a new GP because yours sounds like an absolute arse. It boggles my mind that a child's health can be dismissed so easily 😠

Riverstep · 14/11/2023 20:58

This was me as a child. I was off school more than I was there. Once my tonsils were removed , problem solved. Your gp is probably unable to do anything about the waiting list, is going private an option?

Lovetosleep1 · 14/11/2023 21:02

Could you see a different doctor? My son was the same and had tonsillitis every month for over a year when he was 2 and terrible snoring, he was really unwell with it and constantly taking antibiotics. They did refer him for his tonsils out eventually but only after a lot of perseverance.

mumda · 14/11/2023 23:34

Keep a record of all your interactions with medical services. Ask for names and write time and date.

Keep a record of her ill health and missed school.

Start making a case for it being taken seriously.

Best of luck.

Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 15/11/2023 07:36

I do but they consider it an existing condition - she’s had it since birth and I only had the policy since she was one. So they won’t cover it as I have tried many times

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowboardmum73 · 15/11/2023 07:37

Thanks all I will try the zinc and have moved doctors to our local one, we have been in the next town :)

OP posts:
LuckyCharmz · 15/11/2023 08:10

Snoring, colds, mucus and tonsillitis often go hand in hand with lactose intolerance.

Tremblingmadness · 15/11/2023 08:34

I agree with @LuckyCharmz

Lactose intolerance was almost certainly implicated in my Tonsillitis and that of my DD.

My Tonsils were almost certainly lost as a result. A really good GP picked the issue up with my DD. We removed the lactose from her diet and the Tonsillitis disappeared.