I think the doctors hate me/ think I amA hypochondriac

[Snowboardmum73]

hey,

i have never used this before - so I suppose I
using it as a way to make sure I am not going mad!

I have a lovely and sweet, nearly 5 year old girl, who has just started school.

ever since I have had her (breach wrong way, c section) she has been a mucus/y baby and prone to lots of colds. Tonsillitis and Strep A often. After 3 years of fighting the NHS they agreed she could have her tonsils out and we are on the waiting list. Getting to this point has been exhausting. I had to be admin for the process, get evidence from
doctors, wrote reminder letters, chase progress…

in the meantime she’s ill nearly every 6 weeks and today the same again, call from
school she’s got a temp but is shivering, she can’t swallow has horrible breathe - just wants to sleep. She’s been ill for two weeks , I have seen the doctors twice - they say send her to school - one ignores it and says it will go away the other gives her an inhaler. So today I call again and say - she has a fever, she looks ill and for another day doesn’t want to eat.

the doctor starts to get funny with me like I am wasting their time, like all children get ill and I should ride it out, I say I have been riding it out for nearly two weeks as I knew this would be your reaction but she can’t ride it out any longer. She’s not eating, she’s already lost weight due to the constant infections.

the doctor was rude, she refused to see her - I said she’s crying in her sleep and I am forcing calpol down her.

so in the end I say see her or I take her to a&e. Iam crying at this point to due lack of sleep because she can’t stop coughing at night and my work will kill me if I take more time off.

why do I have to fight so hard and they don’t believe you, her medical records show this is her weakness. I feel like they have decided they don’t like me and so dismiss me straight away.

inknow all kids get colds, but mine can’t fight it for some reason her immune system when it comes to ENT related issues is terrible and it turn a bad quick.

so she’s got an appointment but at the cost of me and the doctor having serious words with each other….and I just feel exhausted.

the doctors used to be great now they have this triage system they just don’t want to see you.

I just feel like everything is a battle at the moment! Sorry for the rant!

It must be hard to leave her untreated but you know that multiple rounds of antibiotics will destroy her gut and make her more prone to coming down with repeat infections? It's a catch 22. You need to be working on her gut health in conjunction with this, not just wanting long term antibiotics which could end up ruining her long term health.

There was a similar distressing thread on here once with a woman who was in the same position. She just kept going back for antibiotics, eventually the adenoids came out after a really long wait but as of her last update months later her child was still experiencing daily stomach pains.

The operation privately would be around 2-3k . I have no idea about your finances and you shouldn’t be in this position but the NHS is what it is at the moment. If you could consider self funding personally I would .

Unfortunately the GP may not be able to do very much to actually help.

She must already have been referred to ENT to have her tonsils out. The GP is powerless to make this happen any faster for your daughter.

In the meantime, these illnesses may continue. Repeated courses of antibiotics could add to her problems without helping much. Other than antibiotics, the GP can't offer much other than sympathy. If the multiple appointments don't make any difference to your daughter I can see why they don't want to offer them.

However, that is not to say your daughter's ongoing illness isn't serious or that the situation isn't horrible for you both, if you know what I mean.

Obviously, it would be much better if your daughter could have more specialist input and get the tonsillectomy sooner. However the NHS cannot provide this at the moment, services are too overstretched and even urgent referrals are currently waiting months. I just feel a bit sorry for GPs getting the blame for this when they are fairly powerless and also have to prioritise every single appointment they make for the most benefit because they too are overrun.

You really have my sympathies as it is just awful having a sick child and having to wait and wait for the thing that can (hopefully) make them better.

So you have a gp service with your medical? I do and they were able to refer DD, she was seen by a consultant the following week.

Okay thanks - I guess I could test that at home and go to lactose free milk also - she is a big fan of milk so maybe that’s not helping and cheese!

Yes and I used the Aviva GP but they said they can’t do this type of consultation over the phone - as someone needs to listen to her chest.

Dairy is known for exacerbating issues with mucous. If she's only up to drinking I'd be making smoothies with vitamin-rich fruit. You could add coconut milk or similar to make it creamy and add fat which she probably needs if she's often off her food.

Vitamin D is known for supporting the immune system so I'd make sure she's having that.

Zinc isn't supposed to be used longterm but might be helpful to get her over this blip.

Find a private GP that will see kids. The appointment will probably be £50 but they should do the referral and then your insurance will take over. If you say where you’re based people will probably be able to recommend one.

As soon as I ready your title I knew this would be tonsils. You have my sympathy! We went through the same with DD when she was about 3, back and forth weekly to the doctors and being fobbed off. At one point she was so malnourished she was admitted through A&E and they fi ally started to take it more seriously.

As with PP, having her tonsils out made a huge difference. We ended up having it done on the NHS but did go for a meeting with thus specialist in London https://www.danieltweedie.com/snoring-and-sleep-apnoea-in-children who was excellent and gave great advice. Not sure how far you are from London but if it's doable I'd recommend dropping him a line - looks like he does phone consults now too.

So sorry you're going through this, you're not paranoid and you need to keep fighting for your DD - don't let them fob you off!

Dairy allergies can show up with congestion and mucus etc. you would need to remove all dairy to test not just lactose as that's just the sugar and not the protein.

Some people are prone to tonsillitis. My partner and I both are and my 3 yo has already had it twice. When I had mine removed I had to reach the threshold of 9 times a year. I was having 1-2 weeks off school each time and started to need multiple courses of antibiotics. I had them out when I was 13/14 and not wanting to miss big chunks of my GCSE years was the final push to get an ent referral who had no qualms about removing them. This was 20 years ago and I have had tonsillitis twice since then.
My partner still has his tonsillitis and probably has only had it 3 or 4 times since his early 20s so the last 15ish years. Prior to this it was 3-6 times a year.
My sister had severe tonsillitis just once at 14 but it put her in hospital for IV antibiotics. She was told if it happened again she could get a referral to ent to discuss removing them so the criteria isn't fully related to number of incidents etc. She hasn't had it again.

Thanks all I will change her diet.

shes been on antibiotics 8 times plus a year for the last few years and I have a written record from doctor listing how many and how many times she has it without antibiotics.

Her paediatric doctor wrote a letter saying she is loosing weight each times he weights her. She’s just as frustrated as us to be honest, he can’t refer her he needed ENT approval and that’s what has taken over 2 years and multiple different ENTs.

The system also is not fair - i live in Somerset but have a Dorset postcode and address, we have a doctors in the next town and that’s in Dorset. Apparently Somerset is on a triage service and had my doctors or my address been a Somerset postcode she wouldn’t have got approved. As the triage service is so strict all that evidence wouldn’t have been enough, she only got approved because Dorset doesn’t need that approval, it just needs a referral, and because its being at hospital in Dorset and they have her doctors as being in Dorset - we got approved.

it just seems massively unfair. Her paediatric doctor at the local hospital tells me he struggles to get anything approved and is in constant battles…I felt sorry for him, he’s brilliant at what he does, I feel he is the I to one who genuinely cared and he already looks deflated with his Job.

in a few weeks I will call and find out how far down the list she is. In the meantime I will do all you suggest - esp the lactose and supplements.

She take a daily kids one anyway and she has a very healthy diet as My husband and I both cook from scratch and enjoy cooking…we just love food so… I guess it’s just her weakness and we need to find ways to manage it in the meantime.

i do appreciate all the comments - it’s made me feel so much better and less tearful late at night when she’s coughing and I am extra worried and tired!

@Snowboardmum73 I'm baffled you have private healthcare yet you won't use it for your child.

Did you read the thread? I took it out after she was ill and they don’t cover existing medical conditions. Because I get it with my new job and she had problems before I started the new job. Trust me, I have asked several times to use it and get told no. It’s not like one you pay out first and claim back -aviva pay for you up front but you need approval first and we it was refused due to her being ill before I took the policy out.

any in the future and I will be using it

Why are you baffled?

"Snowboardmum73 · Today 07:36

I do but they consider it an existing condition - she’s had it since birth and I only had the policy since she was one. So they won’t cover it as I have tried many times"

Apologies. The question was asked yesterday.

Can you if you personally can't afford a private doctor ask family, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins to have a whip round to pay the £50 to see a private doctor