Where should baby sleep when guests come over?

[BBmybaby]

Currently baby is 6.5 months and since transferring him to the spare room/bedroom he has been sleeping like a log, which has been a game changer for us as his parents.

The problem is we have family over quite often. Before baby, they’d stay in what is now the nursery. We’ve kept the single bed in there but I’m so scared to make any changes for our LO who has been sleeping so well?

we do have a small study. I guess i can put up a travel cot and have LO sleep there when guests come over? I wouldn’t want him in our room because from experience, we wake him up.

I could alternatively ask the guests to sleep in living room. We have a big sofa.

I know I may sound petty but honestly, our LO sleeping so well has made all the difference to our lives and wouldn’t want to disrupt this. Thoughts?

Mainly I’d say prioritise you and your baby’s sleep as you actually live there. But it does depend why you’re having visitors so much? If they’re coming to help with childcare then better to get baby used to the sleeping in the study so they have somewhere decent to sleep too. Neither of mine would have noticed at that age tbh as long as they had a dark space without distractions.

I’d probably go for the travel cot in the study.

You don’t need people sleeping on your sofa if you can avoid it, and your baby will probably sleep just the same.

You no longer have a spare room if that's your baby's room.

It's fine to rearrange DC temporarily when there are visitors IMO but don't think of her bedroom as "the spare room"! Either repurpose another room as a combined e.g. study/spare room, move her in with you when you have guests, give the guests your room, invest in a sofa bed, or stop having people to stay over.

Why are you prioritising your guests over your child? You used to have a spare room, you don't any more. They'll need to stay elsewhere. Things change a lot when you have a child, this is one of them.

I agree that the nursery is no longer the spare room. This is exclusively your baby's room. I've never agreed with disrupting children for visitors.
Your options are a sofa bed in the study or a nearby b&b.

I wouldn’t change anything for baby, especially if they’re sleeping well. To be honest, if they’re just social visits rather than helping you visits, I’d say that ‘unfortunately we no longer have space for overnight visitors, these local hotels/bnbs/whatever are good options’

Guests go home after visit, use taxi or your small guest room.
Start this and tell family bluntly babies sleep needs are priority and they need to be in a routine.

I agree with what PP have said; perhaps it might be worth trying the travel cot before inviting the guests, so you can put them back in their own bed immediately if they don't settle and stay asleep there.

I don’t agree at all. We have always made our guests comfortable, I would hate for them to sleep in the sofa. It’s only for a few nights! I personally would have the baby in with us in a travel cot or in the study

Thanks for all your opinions. I should have specified, these are family guests who stay with us and help out a lot with our LO when they’re here. That’s why their comfort is also of importance to me.

I can’t risk having LO in our room. We’re too noisy and wake him up. I think we’ll go for the study/travel cot option!

I would test baby in the travel cot in the study one night when you don't have guests. If that's ok do that if not ok I would let the guests know that it would a sleep on the sofa or an air bed in the living room depending on space situation should they spend the night.

It's worth buying a proper mattress for the travel cot if this is going to be a regular thing. Travel cot mattresses are really thin.

We used to have a spare room with a single bed. When DD2 came along, it became her room. Now, if we have guests, their options are the sofa bed in the lounge or a hotel. Even if they’re here to help with my DC, I can’t magic up space in my house. No room in DD2’s bedroom for a bed as well as her cot.

In your shoes, I would keep baby where he is and say you only have the sofa or a hotel as the options. People will understand.

But you don't have a spare room anymore. That is your child's room. This is weird

Your poor baby. Having their routine and comfort sidelined for no good reason. Your family should sort their own accommodation.

Wow to some of these replies. It’s family visiting and helping with childcare. Babies are portable and can move. OP personally I found getting mine used to the same routine in different spaces (ie they have their room, but also sleep in travel cots/floor beds elsewhere) has been brilliant in reducing my anxieties - about travel, about having family/friends visit, about holiday, working and just generally about making plans where baby/kids have to fit in with our timelines and lives. Having a bit of flexibility has been so freeing. As long as mine have a dark room and their various comforters, books/songs with us, I tend to find they’ll settle in most beds with reassurance. Maybe try the study and see what happens? Could be far less disruptive than you worry about.

Totally agree with the above, babies are very portable and getting them used to sleeping elsewhere means they will sleep in hotels and when you’re visiting other people’s houses etc. telling your guests they can’t stay is ridiculous in my opinion

Such great advice! I agree with this. Growing up it was normal for us to give up our bedrooms for guests to stay over. It was all part of the fun of having people visit. We got to sleep downstairs on a sofa bed or in sleeping bags which was a novelty! We enjoyed the company of our guests and as the hosting family, giving up a bedroom for a temporary time seemed like the right thing to do.

Really weird.. you don’t have a spare room anymore, it is baby’s room.
I would prioritise baby: when baby is happy, parents get to sleep more and everyone is happy. Let family take a hotel or the couch, if they are here to help with the baby, they would want baby happy as well, right?

They are thin for safety reasons, because of the mesh sides, a thicker mattress can cause babies to get stuck between the mattress and the side of the cot which can then cause breathing difficulty. That's why most travel cots will have a warning in the front of the book saying not to use any different mattresses.

I couldn't imagine moving a 6.5 month old baby from their nursery to a travel cot in a study. I presume the study is on a different floor from your bedroom too.

Can you swap your sofa for a sofa bed?

This problem is only going to be more complicated as baby grows older

If there's room, I'd put a sofa bed in the study and either you or your guests stay on that. Otherwise, I'd be giving up your room for the guests and you have an air mattress somewhere else in the house. That's what we plan to do when we have our second child, at least until the kids are old enough to choose to share.

The idea that kids should be turfed out of their rooms for visitors they didn't choose to invite is sad. Once a year at Christmas is maybe tolerable, but this sounds like a regular occurrence which isn't fair.

Don't move the baby!

Before we moved, we used to give guests our room and sleep on the floor in DC room. Then we got a sofa bed and generally we slept on that and continued giving guests our room.

You and DH can sleep on the sofa (or get a decent sofabed in the study), guests take your bedroom.