Sleeping set up for a newborn - this isn't working

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Have a two week old baby and the set up we have at home is just a nightmare and I don't understand what I can do other than soldier on.

We have a moses basket downstairs and a next2me upstairs. Baby is a fairly decent sleeper, only wakes 3-4 times at night and will do a decent 2-3 hour stretch in between (occasionally 4 hours).

The problem is me. I find sitting up in bed to feed her absolutely unbearable and I don't know why. It's so uncomfortable getting her out of the next2me to put on me, compared to standing to get her from her moses basket. She takes a long time to feed and wind, well in excess of an hour total.

Doing everything at bed level just feels unbearable. My back aches from bending over to change her and I can't get comfy with pillows behind me on the bed.

I've tried orthopaedic pillows that prop you up and they're no help at all. Having my legs at the same level as my body just doesn't allow me to get baby into the right position to have her bottle.

On top of that, when I wake I am absolutely boiling and covered in sweat, meaning I have to strip off to get through a feed and even then I have actual beads of sweat running off me. The heating is no different than it was prior to pregnancy and the house isn't too hot, I'm just inexplicably sweating.

To combat this I've been sleeping downstairs on the sofa next to the moses basket. This works fairly well as I sleep so lightly I don't get night sweats, and I have back support from the sofa during night feeds. However, I know that not sleeping in a bed can't go on forever. I don't have space for an armchair in our bedroom at the moment. Has anyone else been through this and have any recommendations?

What other bedrooms do you have? Is there a room with space for a bed, cot and chair to feed? If so, could you and the baby move into this room?

Do you have a feeding pillow?

I had the night sweats, they only lasted a few weeks.

I had a breastfeeding pillow that supported the baby, which made it easier on my back when I fed my baby in bed. Might that help you?

And I had completely forgotten the sweating! I think it’s hormonal, and it should pass soon.

But if sleeping on the sofa is working for you for now, then it can’t hurt to keep doing it. You might find that feeding in bed is easier when the baby is a bit bigger - while will happen very quickly!

Feed lying down in bed- make the bed safe in case you fall asleep. I did all night feeds lying down.

I also had a chair in the nursery but didn’t use that until she was much older.

Take the moses upstairs and remove next to me, can you fit a chair in your room to sit in to feed?

I know it's no longer advised but I had an armchair in the babies room and a mattress on the floor. Babies slept in their bed. I'd start in our room and move in when they woke up for the first feed. I remember feeding in bed was a recipe for back ache.

Thank you for the replies
My baby has to feed basically upright due to reflux, would a bf pillow still be of help?

Yup, feeding in bed hurt my back so much. We had an armchair in the nursery which I would move to. Mine had reflux too so had to feed upright and be kept upright for 45ish minutes after feeding - much easier in a nice sturdy, upright armchair.

Surely the beauty of the next to me is you don’t even have to get out of bed? Just drag them across and latch them on? I didn’t get out of bed to do nappies either I just did them on my lap on a towel, although if you’re struggling to get comfy sitting in bed that probably won’t help much either.

Sorry I forgot to mention in my OP that the baby has to feed totally upright due to reflux and she has to stay upright for at least 30-40 mins after a feed

Feeding in bed was just awful in my opinion. We used to get baby up, fed & changed in his nursery on an upright chair

With all four I did night feeds lying down as I couldn't be arsed sitting up. Needed to keep snoozing as they fed.

We have 3 bedrooms, our room, baby's room, and an office.

I really don't want to buy a single mattress to move into her room, as I feel I.may as well stay on the couch which is quite comfy wnd I'm close to the kitchen at least.

Is the baby on medicine for reflux? Once DD had been on it for a few weeks, we were able to stop all the faff surrounding feeds.

No, I was worried about asking for medication as I would rather avoid giving my baby anything not absolutely necessary..generally the upright feeding seems to be managing the reflux, I would feel guilty giving her something like omepraxolr for my convenience, if that makes sense?

I had one of those curved feeding pillows but I used it behind me for lower back support, I also sat with my legs crossed in bed which helped I think. The night sweats are terrible, but they won't last long. It's just another symptom of post natal unfortunately.

Do you have room for an office chair in your bedroom? They're quite supportive and smaller/cheaper than feeding or arm chairs.

Oh also can you move the next to me away from bed so you've enough room to swing your legs around and sit at the edge to get her out? I found that much easier than having the cot attached to the bed

Just swap it around?

take the next to me downstairs and use with side up as stand alone crib in living room. Move Moses basket up to bedroom and stand away from bed. Or just use next to me as standalone crib in bedroom away from bed also with side up

Get a strandmon chair form ikea and put in corner of bedroom to feed in. Get nightlight

Also had the next to me, and found it a right faff. Couldn’t get in and out of bed easily without sliding halfway down bed whilst holding baby. Put it dh side in the end. Then ended up using main cot in our room from 4months just away from bed against wall, and sold next to me. If I had another I would just get a Moses basket as moveable and then use cot

When you say reflux - what is happening? Because little babies being a sick after feeds (posseting) is totally normal and due to underdeveloped digestive systems, it’s not a medical issue and nothing to worry about. More a laundry issue, you just need a lot of muslins about. Or are they genuinely distressed and in pain after feeds, in which case what cause for the issue is being looked at?

We had a next to me but like pp didn't attach it to the bed (I had a c section, so wasn't able to wriggle around the bed getting in and out).

DS was bottle fed so couldn't do lying down feeds either (like you, just a different reason). I used to put him down in his moses downstairs, then when it was bedtime bring him up still in moses and used the next to me as a stand to put moses in (this probably isn't recommended though in hindsight, due to breathability of the cot and basket?). When he woke I could take the whole moses out to the nursery and change him on his change mat, then feed him in chair. Put him back in moses after and then bring the whole thing back with me to bedroom.

Sounds faffy but I found it easier and meant I wasn't worried about waking DH. I used to listen to audiobooks once in the nursery too which helped with the loneliness of night feeds.

Oh and nightsweats will stop soon! I used to break in to a sweat every time I put the breast pump on and woke drenched every night for a few months. Another delightful side effect of motherhood!

I slept on a blow up mattress in our living room for the first month or so. After that, when she was going a bit longer between feeds, I'd just bring her to the living room to feed her when she woke up and then take her back to bed when she was done. Is an airbed an option? Mine cost about £15

I never fed in bed. I always got up and went downstairs to the living room to feed.

If you are uncomfortable just move to where you are comfortable.

I also had a breastfeeding pillow which I found absolutely necessary

I also slept in the living room on the sofa when dd was tiny. It was generally more comfortable for me and meant that when she had the occasional bad night it felt slightly more bearable to be able to flick the tv on rather than staring into the abyss at 3am, although I quickly discovered podcasts and earbuds were a great way to cope with night shenanigans well into her third year.

Breast feeding sweats are really common, hormonal I think. Make sure you keep your fluids up.

The night sweats are only gonna last a few more weeks. A few weeks on the sofa sounds like the right thing to do if it's best for both and then reasses in a few weeks. Babies and sweats and reflux can all change a lot in a few weeks. Good luck