Sleeping set up for a newborn - this isn't working

[Sectionprep]

Have a two week old baby and the set up we have at home is just a nightmare and I don't understand what I can do other than soldier on.

We have a moses basket downstairs and a next2me upstairs. Baby is a fairly decent sleeper, only wakes 3-4 times at night and will do a decent 2-3 hour stretch in between (occasionally 4 hours).

The problem is me. I find sitting up in bed to feed her absolutely unbearable and I don't know why. It's so uncomfortable getting her out of the next2me to put on me, compared to standing to get her from her moses basket. She takes a long time to feed and wind, well in excess of an hour total.

Doing everything at bed level just feels unbearable. My back aches from bending over to change her and I can't get comfy with pillows behind me on the bed.

I've tried orthopaedic pillows that prop you up and they're no help at all. Having my legs at the same level as my body just doesn't allow me to get baby into the right position to have her bottle.

On top of that, when I wake I am absolutely boiling and covered in sweat, meaning I have to strip off to get through a feed and even then I have actual beads of sweat running off me. The heating is no different than it was prior to pregnancy and the house isn't too hot, I'm just inexplicably sweating.

To combat this I've been sleeping downstairs on the sofa next to the moses basket. This works fairly well as I sleep so lightly I don't get night sweats, and I have back support from the sofa during night feeds. However, I know that not sleeping in a bed can't go on forever. I don't have space for an armchair in our bedroom at the moment. Has anyone else been through this and have any recommendations?

Is is reflux as in Exorcist-style vomit and weight loss, plus crying and pain? Or just some possets?

Mine was formula fed after the first few weeks due to failure to thrive so it was easier to give medication, but I would absolutely medicate severe reflux. I can't imagine anyone not, to be honest - it's hideous. We used infant Gaviscon which worked brilliantly, stopped the crying and the Exorcist vomits. He did still bring a lot of milk up though so we carried on with holding him upright after feeding, but that was fine for us and it reduced as he got older.

On a couple of occasions we tried to reduce/remove the infant Gaviscon and he immediately started bringing everything back up again, so we stuck with it until he was walking - by which time the reflux thankfully cured itself.

I always went into the baby's room to feed at night. Had a nice comfy chair and plenty of room to change baby comfortably. No way could I feed in bed - bad back. I couldn't have picked a baby up whilst sitting in bed either. They hadn't invented next-to-me cribs in my day. You just had a Moses basket on a stand.

The postnatal sweats are BRUTAL. Nobody told me I’d be waking up in the night soaking wet!

We went to lying down feeds as it was the only thing that helped my daughter's reflux. It didn't matter how long we left her moving from being upright to lying down caused her painful reflux. Hers was mostly of the silent variety but always was sick 5-10 times a feed.

I struggled with moving her from the bed to the cot when we had the cot alongside the bed. I had to have the cot at 45degs to the bed and at the foot of the bed so I could swing my feet over the side of the bed into a proper sitting up position to get into the bed. Does the next to me have a side you could put on to turn it into a proper cot? I used the cot from when I was a baby so my knowledge of cots is stuck in the 1980s I don't know about these "modern" cots! 😆

I completely get what you mean about getting baby out of a next to me when you're lying down. It's basically an exercise move 'russian twist' really freaking painful when your core has been savaged by pregnancy and birth.
I slept on the sofa with DS in a moses basket for about 10 weeks. Had the changing mat on the dining table so it's higher ( obvs have to say this because it's Mumsnet - I never left him on there unattended) It was so much more comfortable for feeding as well because I could use the arm of the sofa as support. If your sofa is comfortable there's nothing wrong with doing this for as long as you need. You will eventually end up back in your bed and you'll find your own rhythm and routine.
When I moved back into the bedroom I'd take the prep machine up with me, and I still used to get out of bed and get him from the other side of the next to me. Then I'd go into his nursery and feed him on the chair.

I would probably say to do what you need to to be as comfy as you can and get the most sleep. If you’re comfy sleeping on the couch with the baby in the Moses basket then I’d just carry on doing that until the night sweats tail off.
Could you get a feeding chair or a comfy armchair to feed the baby in?
We used to bath the baby downstairs and change babies bum on the dining table to save having to bend over until the nursery furniture got delivered.

How are you feeling after the birth? I'm just wondering if feeding is that uncomfortable is pain related to that. If so do you have access to appropriate pain relief and could you do some gentle stretches etc.