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Parenting

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Original poster

3 kids is quite hard work, imo...

87 replies

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 15:29

they are all great kids

the baby sleeps, though is still mainly bfding round the clock (shes 4 weeks tommorrow)

the older ones (2 and 4) are really good, they spend much of the day playing together (no school/nursery)

my lovely mother is paying for a cleaner, which takes the edge off it

dp is generally very good and is using holiday to take the older kids out, etc, though he is basically out of the house 7-6 most days. He is also doing the necessary reading/writing/numeracy stuff with ds.

but i am shattered, the house is trashed and I really, really need a few hours alone.

the laundry pile is breeding

and we don't have access to a car atm, and I can't face taking the 3 of them on the bus.

it is just hard bloody work, isn't it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sweetkitty · 10/03/2008 15:53

That is annoying expat, our nursery and school are about 5 minutes drive apart but it is over a railway crossing and if you catch it wrong you could be sitting for 20 minutes waiting on a train, by the time DD1 goes to school next year, DD2 will be at nursery and DD3 will be a year old. The year after DD1 and 2 will both be at school what am I going to do with myself then?

hijack - when are you due expat and are you getting an early scan?

becklespeckle · 10/03/2008 15:53

Ditto Goingfor3, DD gets whisked straight from her cot to her pram just before I leave for the school run. Then she gets bathed, fed and dressed when we get back, 6 hours of heaven with just one baby to look after! (still get nothing done mind...)

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 15:53

OR could you not put them in their school stuff the night before

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expatinscotland · 10/03/2008 15:55

due 1 november, sweet.

i don't know about a scan.

haven't told my surgery.

not going to do any antenatal care except 20 weeks scan privately in edinburgh and then either go abroad for the birth or stay with ILs in edinburgh once i get to 36 weeks and see someone there.

SoupDragon · 10/03/2008 15:56

Looking back, 2 plus a newborn was a piece of cake...

[snigger]

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 15:56

OP posts:

IlanaK · 10/03/2008 15:58

I will also be in this position at the end of July when I have number 3. Although mine are a little older (they will be 4 and 7 then), they are homeschooled so are with me all day. We live in central london with no car so all trips out are a bus/tube or walk.

I have thought a lot about it and I think the key really is to be able to feed anywhere and to use a sling. You say you have tried all and can't breastfeed in them, but I think it is a skill that really takes practise and perserverance and truely does get easier as the baby gets a little older. The easiest slings to feed in are ring slings. Have you tried this website: www.slingmeet.co.uk to find people local to you who could help you learn to use a sling to feed?

I think getting out of the house even in bad weather is key. We have no garden (we live in a flat) and I force myself to go out even to a local shop in this horrible weather. The boys really need it and it makes the day easier.

sweetkitty · 10/03/2008 16:00

thanks soupdragon

Just thinking about the constant BFing and getting the 3 of them in and out of the car stresses me out.

expat - I phoned up and got a scan at 8 weeks then had a threatened mc at 13 weeks and was told since I had a scan then that was my lot, had private scan last week though.

TsarChasm · 10/03/2008 16:01

Yes, it can seem relentless and definately when they are tiny as yours are atm.

Mind you, mine are older now and my friends with less dc all envy the way mine play together and don't need too much intervention or entertainment, so it does pay off in the end.

Laundry pile will never go away. I can beat mine down but it never is done totally. I used to get quite stressed about that but once I accepted it as a fact of life it stops being so accusing.

If you can possibly afford to pay someone to help with the ironing it does help hugely. I was spending my whole life ironing before finding the lovely lady that helps out with ours.

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:02

oh i know ilana that was my reasoning too (dc are/will be HEd also)

somehow not working atm. I expect it WILL, but right now, it is hard

the only slings that work for me are ones with cross shoulder weight distribution, and they don't lend themselves to bfding

tbh I think I'd forgotten how bloody hard the first few months ARE. I know it gets easier after that, but just for a bit its all chaos. You go from having a nice, ordered, nappy-free house, not to mention TIME, to no sleep and a huge pile of laundry, literally overnight.

OP posts:

Ledodgy · 10/03/2008 16:02

It is hard but now ds2 is nearly ten weeks old we've started to get into some kind of routine. I have to confess I had to knock bf on the head as I just couldn't cope with the round the clock feeding which caused so much upset for my two year old and stopped me spending any time with my 4 year old, I also collapsed at the school gates from sheer exhaustion. I have nothing but admiration for those with two or more children who manage to keep it up.

I find the morning school run the hardest but have got yelling delegation down to a tee and we actually manage to get dd to school on time. Ds2 has slotted in nicely into our family and it's as if he was always here so it does get easier. Like you my house is no longer as tidy as i'd like, I'm making very simple meals but on the whole things are looking brighter than 5 weeks ago.

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:03

will they ALL really play together?

There is 4.5 years between ds and dd2, and 2.5 years between dd1 and dd2. I had thought that that would be too much for them to play, really?

OP posts:

NorthernLurker · 10/03/2008 16:04

I'm planning on ironing tonight. Only 6 hours or so should see it off

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:04

oh yes that is the other thing

I seem to shout more

this is depressing me

OP posts:

NorthernLurker · 10/03/2008 16:05

Filly - mine play together - with nearly 10 years between them!

Ledodgy · 10/03/2008 16:05

They will play together there's 2.7 years between dd and ds1 and they have just started playing together properly.

NorthernLurker · 10/03/2008 16:05

xpost - I shout as well - but they don't seem to hold it against me.

Original poster

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:05

oh how cool

i have been very worried that dd2 will be left out, dd1 and ds do play together very well (22 month gap)

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 10/03/2008 16:08

"will they ALL really play together?"

Well, DS2 (7) and BabyDragon (2) are currently playing on the Wii together. DS2 is encouraging her although I don't think her controllers are actually working

All 3 SmallDragons (DS1 is 9) play together lots. BabyDragon leads them round saying "come on puppy!", they all bounce on the trampoline together (DD has to be helped on and off)... they're fab together really

But yes, I shout a lot more... [sigh]

Ledodgy · 10/03/2008 16:09

I had my friend's 6 year old round on Saturday she is 20 months older than my dd and dd, friend's dd and ds played together brilliantly. It was the most hilarious game of hide and seek i've ever seen. It did however prepare me for the noise level of having three that age!

sweetkitty · 10/03/2008 16:10

I think that as well how will thy all get on as theres only 18 months between DD1 and DD2 but there will be 4 years between DD1 and DD3 and 2 1/2 years between DD2 and DD3 IYSWIM. Will DD1 and 2 go off and leave DD3?

oliviaelanasmum · 10/03/2008 16:10

Im now into the routine of 3 who are 6,nearly 3 and 5 months and then find out im pregnant again. Now i know i should know how it happened but i dont get to wee on my own let alone get sexy

NorthernLurker · 10/03/2008 16:10

I have been so pleasantly surprised by how the big girls play with B. They have a game called Beatrice the detective - they all start off on the landing and the big girls run into our room and hide on the other side of the bed. B crawls after them at a great rate, giggling and then tries to find them whilst they try to get back into the hall without being detected! Sounds like a herd of elephants overhead of course!

ScoobyDYSONDoo · 10/03/2008 16:15

I am glad a read this as i have 2 & quite honestly find them hard & demanding so think we are having no mor now.

The only way i can think is routine, early nights & work as a team, you are doing alot on your own & you have my sympathy, it should get a bit easier as the baby settles & gets a tad older though.

((hugs))) to you.

TsarChasm · 10/03/2008 16:16

Yes they will play together Filly I promise. They'll all be giggling and playing like they have their own little club.

I do feel your pain now though. There's no two ways about it, it is very exhausting. I know some people seem to breeze through it, but I found it very tough at times.

Accept all help and ask for more if you need it. Remember that if you get help and the children are being looked after for a few hours, it is not self indulgence to use those few hours for you and not for the zillion chores that are piling up.

You are important too and must have a break to look forward to to remain sane.

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