would you live your child home alone after school and in the school holidays aged around 7?

[milkgoddess]

another thread got me thinking about this, one of my friends works full time and she has 3 children.
the youngest is in the 1st year of junior school, so what age would that make her? around 7?

anyway her neighbour picks up friends dd from school then drops her off at her own home alone until around 5-530 when her mum gets home, the older children are usually out
and also in the school holidays this child spends weeks alone

do you think this is ok? i thought it was a bit harsh on the little girl as she is struggling at school as she doesn't really get any home input like help with homework and reading etc and its a very long time in the summer holidays for her to spend such a long time alone isn't it?

Absolutely not-this is negligence as many others have said. How can anyone do it and have any peace of mind while they are away? I would be worried sick the whole time!

Tend to agree with the thrust of most of the posts but can I just have a quick ROFL at this....

"Also, remember that most children value time with their parents much more than material things."

What does that mean?

milkgoddess:

Do you think you could perhaps offer this parent some help rather than judge?

We really know nothing of the situation (which I agree does sound dire)

But if you know the little one is unhappy etc & you have been there when her mum came home from work.. would you be able to offer the little one/her mum any practical help at all?

Even in the summer, a few hours a day with some company?

OmIran, roughly translated I think that line means: "Your children would rather be poor & see your miserable mug every day, than be alone whilst you make the pennies to buy the newest playstation"

It's all black & white huh?

Yes. That's what I suspected, wallofsilence. Shame about having to pay the mortgage isn't it.

I agree the NSPCC website is a little patronising and over-simplistic but it is trying to get over its points in a simple easy to access way. The leaflet is here if anyone was interested. The main NSPCC website is slightly more grown up but I didn't really have the time to search for the best quotes, just posted the first ones I found, I am supposed to be working!

I wouldn't leave my 7yo dd alone at home for that sort of time, but she does sometimes come home from school alone (a 5-10 minute walk, virtually no traffic) and she plays outside alone out of our sight too. And when she's 8 or 9 we'll leave her at home sometimes for a bit. Not for whole days or half days but the odd half hour maybe. It seems normal to me, it's how I remember my childhood, we did spend time at home alone or just with our siblings at junior school age.

Fennel I think playing out of sight for a little while whilst your dd knows she can run and get you if she needs you is actually very different to being left alone for several hours/all day. From the ages of 5-10 I lived in a house with a very big back garden so I was always out of sight when playing outside with my brother and sister, which I think was normal and natural. However, if I had hurt myself all I had to do was send on of my siblings to fetch Mum, if she was out them I could having been lying injured for hours before being found!

I want to add, that of course my Mum was never out I was not left by myself till I was 13/14

Well yes it is different. And where dd1 plays and goes to and fro on her own is near various houses with friendly neighbours who will look out for dd1 and who she can call on as well if she has problems.

But I do remember us being at home after school and during the holidays at junior school age and actually we were always totally sensible. And we enjoyed the freedom from parental observance.

Ormiron

"Also, remember that most children value time with their parents much more than material things."

Well, if I asked ds "Dahrling, would you like to spend the day with mummy, or have the new Indiana Jones Lego kit?", I bet I'd know which he'd pick

But then, he does spend a fair bit of time with me.

NO!

No its not right and I would never do it. However my own parents used to leave me in charge of my little sister before and after school and during the school holidays from the age of 8 onwards. My sister was 3. Mind you I was also resident babysitter for any nights out (at least weekly). Outrageous really.

I don't think its about not thinking kids can be sensible (which they can't all the time they are kids!) its more about the "what ifs". What if there was a fire, what if your child hurt themselves and needed medical attention but had to wait till you came home, what if someone realised they were home alone and decided to break in, what if they felt abandoned so left the house to try and find a friend/neighbour/you and got into an accident crossing the road. There are unlimited possibilities of thing that can go wrong with kids, they are kids after all! They are children so need supervising to make sure they are safe and when accidents happen (as they always will) a carer to get the approriate medical attention. Its not fair that they should have to deal with this alone, they are not emotionally mature enough and it is a carers job not the childs. I have also neglected to mention the emotional effects being left alone could have on a 7 year old, particularly if they are also unhappy at school (as apparently this dc is according the the OP) with issues of abandonment.