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Original poster

would you live your child home alone after school and in the school holidays aged around 7?

64 replies

milkgoddess · 10/03/2008 09:28

another thread got me thinking about this, one of my friends works full time and she has 3 children.
the youngest is in the 1st year of junior school, so what age would that make her? around 7?

anyway her neighbour picks up friends dd from school then drops her off at her own home alone until around 5-530 when her mum gets home, the older children are usually out
and also in the school holidays this child spends weeks alone

do you think this is ok? i thought it was a bit harsh on the little girl as she is struggling at school as she doesn't really get any home input like help with homework and reading etc and its a very long time in the summer holidays for her to spend such a long time alone isn't it?

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pedilia · 10/03/2008 13:21

Agree with eveyone so far, that is far to young to be left on her own.

I am reading correctly, she is left through the summer holidays??
If so that is awful and a case for SS IMO.

DS1 is 7 and very sensible but I would not leave him on his own in the house.

XP's brother and sisters were lfet in the house on there own (oldest was 15) there was a house fire and despite the heroric efforts of the oldest they all died, the youngest was 18 months. They found the 15 year old holding the little one as she tried to get him out
Just not worth taking that risk

clumsymum · 10/03/2008 13:31

well I might leave ds (8) for 10 minutes or so, but not for 2 hours or all day!!

The poor little soul, what a sad lonely life that seems for a child. Of course she probably spend all her time in front of the TV.

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 13:36

This is wrong and yes a cause for concern.
your friend has to collect the child from school because it is current policy to not allow children to leave school unaccompanied until year 3 (age 8-9)

I personally would speak to school about teh current arrangments with a view to them making a report.

maybe this mum just needs some advice wirth regards to alternative arrangments for after school care.

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OrmIrian · 10/03/2008 13:37

No. Unless the older siblings are much older and are prepared to stick around and look after her properly.

seeker · 10/03/2008 13:51

I leave my 12 year old at home alone and she and I are both happy with that. But I don't leave my 7 year old alone or with his sister. I don't thing it would be fair to expect her to be responsible for anyone but herself.

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 13:52

And year 1 will be 5-6 year olds

jammi · 10/03/2008 13:57

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Original poster
milkgoddess · 10/03/2008 16:02

so how old are kids when they start junior school then?

and wwyd in this situation? try and talk to the mum?

the little girl does seem sad and lonely

OP posts:
Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:11

I do think its ok, really, provided there is some sort of back up (neighbours know situation, etc). And provided the kid is sensible, can use a phone, make sandwiches, etc

I doubt I'd actually DO it for any of mine, and the school thing is an issue, but I think a 7 year old is probably actually fine to be alone for this length of time.

Agree it might count as neglect though.

Fillyjonk · 10/03/2008 16:11

but if she is not happy then that IS an issue

Cam · 10/03/2008 16:15

No, no and no

Negligence

kittywise · 10/03/2008 16:15

God no, totally irresponsible, dangerous and really crap parenting

Original poster
milkgoddess · 10/03/2008 16:34

don't think the school know as her neighbour picks her up from school, but then the little girl is home alone.

OP posts:
clumsymum · 11/03/2008 11:19

I'm with Fillyjonk, in that I don't think necessarily the child is in mortal danger, being on her own, although I suppose she might try to reach something from a high cupboard or something one day, and hurt herself.

But it does seem sad that a child of this age spends so much time alone.

jollyjolly · 11/03/2008 12:13

absolutey no way should a 7 year old be left home alone.
I used to be a childminder and regularly had children of this age. I also have 1 10 year old, who's parent didn't want him staying home alone either.

It is not safe apart from being lonely. If it was me i would definitly say something, or even offer to help if i could.

EffiePerine · 11/03/2008 12:20

my sister and I were left to our own devices quite a lot at this age, but not at home on our own for extended periods (maybe an hour or so at a time?). I think it's def an issue if the girl isn't happy and is struggling at school - and prob about more than being at home alone, she doesn't seem to being supported at all

YouKnowNothingOfTheCrunch · 11/03/2008 12:26

Nope, the first time my older sister and I were left alone (much older than this, her 12, me about 10) for all of 15 minutes it ended in disaster. We decided to make toast, the toaster decided to break at that moment and suddenly the kitchen was on fire!

Luckily we were quite sensible and unplugged the thing and got some wet towels to smother it all, but it could easily have been much worse. Mum was horrified. She never left us alone again until 14 years old.

Anything can happen and if there's no adult there to be responsible...

Playingthewaitinggame · 11/03/2008 12:47

7 is far too young.

According the the NSPCC website:

"The law is not clear because it does not state an age when children can be left alone. But parents can be prosecuted for wilful neglect if they leave a child unsupervised in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health" (Children and Young Persons Act 1933).

The website also clearly states (I have paraphrased slightly)

"Most 9 to 12 year olds are not mature enough to be left on their own for
more than a very short while ? and certainly not every day after school. Before you decide, make sure that your children feel happy and confident about being alone and that they know where you are and exactly what to do in an emergency. Remember, it is not fair to expect older children who are not mature themselves to look after a young child. Also, remember that most children value time with their parents much more than material things."

If the website clearly states that most 9-12 years old are not mature enough, then there is no way on earth a 7 year old can be and I would say this constitues as wilful neglect!

Playingthewaitinggame · 11/03/2008 12:50

It also says:

"Neglected children may appear withdrawn, unhappy or unusually aggressive and their school work or friendships may suffer."

So being left alone could be causing the problems with school. Even if they aren't, it certainly isn't going to help.

Kimi · 11/03/2008 12:52

I can't begin to say on how many levels this is just so wrong on.

7 is way way to young to be home alone

ROSEgarden · 11/03/2008 12:54

No way, absolute neglect, they want reporting, why have children if they cant be botherd to spend time with them or even just keep them safe

Bridie3 · 11/03/2008 13:05

I leave my daughter (9) alone for 23 minutes each morning while I drive my son to his bus-stop and have done since she was 8. She is very mature, sensible and has neighbours each side who know she's been left.

I wouldn't do it for a seven-year old but I would NOT go about 'reporting' people for doing it.

It's not actually illegal, in point of fact. It would only be illegal if something happened to the child and the parents were found to have been negligent.

nervousal · 11/03/2008 13:23

I would either have a word with parents or would consider reporting it - I would never forgive myself if something happened to the little girl and I'd done nothing.
To my mind it is negligent to leave a 7 year old alone for long periods - whether or not something goes wrong.

Novicecamper · 11/03/2008 13:25

OMG, no way! 1st year of juniors is 7-8yrs old.

Absolutely no chance. Ds1 is just coming up to 7 and there is no way I'd leave him on his own.

Playingthewaitinggame · 11/03/2008 13:30

Bridie, I think 23 mins is different to every day after school and the summer holidays. I think legally leaving a 7 year old for the summer holidays alone would constitute "a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health". I think parents could be prosecuted for this as I would say leaving a 7 year old all day for 6 weeks in a row would very likely cause unnescessary suffering and is dangerous as they are not mature enough to know what to do in emergency situations. It is neglect. Maybe approaching the parents would be the first point of call, rather than reporting it straight away. Maybe they have just not analysed how inappropriate this is for a 7 year old. If I did not get a satisfactory answer from the parents then I would consider reporting it. I could not sleep easily knowing the situation and doing nothing to try and resolve it. I mean, Ive reported a horse that looks underfed to the RSPCA before, so why would I not report neglect?