Husband says I am a bad wife but an excellent new mum

[Ellie875]

My husband says I have not put our marriage first and I do feel bad but I have been surviving being a new mum. With post natal anxiety and tendonitus.
Baby is currently 7 months and the father my husband walked out on me recently. He has returned and I don't know how I feel about myself and everything.
I want us to work, I love him, is this common of men? How do you balance it all?

I'd imagine most mothers out their child first. Especially when they are so young. I don't have my own but know the baby stage is brutal and about surviving however you can! It feels a bit much he's complaining you aren't putting him first. Is he normally this selfish?

I vividly recall my exh shouting at me that I was a wonderful mother to our 8month old but a shit wife, I had let myself go, I was boring, the house was a mess, etc etc. My daughter was a non sleeper and I was exhausted constantly. Anyway, I struggled on with him for a few years and then ended up behaving terribly myself to sabotage the marriage and get divorced.

You need to nip this in the bud with him very quickly, if he doesn't listen and address his behaviour it's unlikely to get any better. I hope you're ok

I don’t even know how to not put a tiny baby first: their entire existence relies on you doing so and meeting their needs. Your DH is incredibly stupid if he doesn’t get that.

No good father would expect to be "put first" over their small child.

How do you rate him? He sounds pretty crap to me.

Someone that expects to be priority over a baby isn’t going to cope.

Some men are sensitive souls, bless them. Or maybe just children themselves. I know people's views on this differ but I love my child way more than I have ever loved anyone, ever. My husband realises this and is fine, I'm pretty sure he feels the same. I don't know how I could deal with one like yours, I think it will be a long and tiresome road ahead. Is he worth it?

Is it just a matter of sex?