One year old upset after stopping bF :(

[EssexMamisoa]

my one year old was a diva with feeding would also for bf about a million times a day. We’ve cut down this week to one in morning on wake up & one at night before bed (and one during the night). in the day she has milk from her sippy cup. Which she does take after protesting. practically it’s working, but my Dc has gone from a super happy smiling friendly baby to a grouchy upset baby most of the day :( I feel terrible that I’ve caused this.

Did anyone find this when they stopped / cut down on bfs?

i also feel down in myself and look forward to our evening feed all day. I am stopping because I want my periods back as I’d love to try for a sibling for Dc.

If you are both missing it then it’s such a shame for your little one to have to suffer at such a young age on the promise of a sibling.

Focus on the child you have now, not the one you want next.

Is she hungry? I'd try offering her some more solid food, particularly things she really likes as little snacks through the day.

Have you found a way to replace the comfort of breast feeding for her? If she was asking very regularly then she was probably seeking comfort and connection more than food so look at giving her another option. Does she like books? I'd maybe have a book constantly available and offer lots of cuddles and reading so she gets the message that she can bring a book to you for a guaranteed cuddle/quiet time in place of asking for a BF.

That’s a good idea about combining more books and cuddles. She loves books. Thank you!
i have been trying to give more cuddles.
we’ve added jn 2 x healthy snacks and a cup of milk (on demand for now) so I don’t believe she’s hungry. It’s a comfort thing.

I think she'll just adjust to it. Better to adjust for a few days than feed feeling resentful, which is where I got to eventually. Dd was almost two and I'd had enough!

It does take at least a year for your body to restock nutrients lost during pregnancy though.

Thank you. I have to go back to work (tomorrow!) anyway so either way weaning in the day is the right decision unfortunately, even if I feel bad about it.

Thank you for sharing.

She will adjust, stick with it.

Why? Plenty of people go back to work while still breastfeeding

Maybe they’re allowed their babies at their desk? I’m personally not 😃 I’m still bF 3 x in 24 hours per my post but that’s not really what my post was about.

She'll most likely get over it before you do!

I hope returning to work goes well 💐

Okay, but I was still breastfeeding my first every 2 hours day and night at that age and going back to work didn’t change our breastfeeding journey at all 🤷‍♀️ She just fed before and after.

It is related to your post because you said you stopped for a couple of reasons. One because you wanted another baby (which isn’t fair on your first) and two because you are going back to work (isn’t necessary to stop, can breastfeed around work).

You said neither of you wanted to stop, so I don’t understand why you would put a desire to have a future baby above the one you already have.

Thank you

@PenguinRainbows as a mum of multiples I find your comments hard to read - they feel judgmental. I’m not the OP but to give you an idea of why I stopped EBF when returning to work and TTC: 1) first baby took over five years with multiple late losses, and we knew we’d love a larger family if it was possible. 2) working in healthcare - there may legally have HAD to be a safe place to pump and store milk but practically it would have made my role very difficult (and the provided fridge space would have been of questionable safety). I love my job (despite its frustrations) and am a better mom when I get to do it (and this is ok). But beyond that: it’s also ok to ask for supporting our children though things they may find initially tricky - because we need/want them too. I loved feeding, until I didn’t. It’s also ok to want to stop because it’s my body and I’ve had enough!

@EssexMamisoa best of luck this week. Hopefully she settles soon - what helped for us was explaining when milk was happening, redirecting to hugs/comfort/loved activities together (books in the feeding chair with her on my knee), new sippy/open cups in exciting colours for cows milk…and night weaning which brought back my periods and enabled #2! Also, strange suggestion but wonder if she’s also picking up on your grumpiness? Change always prompt mine to be a bit more clingy!! So it may be as much that, as the feeding loss.

@Callmemummynotmaaa You don’t need to use their fridge. I never did. I just pumped and used a cool bag with freezer packs.

OP has said she didn’t want to stop, that she misses the feeds as much as her daughter.

I am saying work is not a reason to stop, it can easily be worked around, and when neither of you want to stop it is silly to do so in the hope of another child. Especially when it is possible to get pregnant without having your periods back yet.

I also have more than one child; nothing against multiple children. Have as many as you want. But you should always be putting the children that you have first over hopes and dreams of future ones.

Thank you really helpful suggestions. My Dc is a cuddler so we will try some of them (she’d be carried round in the sling all day still like the queen she is if she could😅). My DH wondered too if baby seemed quiet because I’m quiet. It’s possible! Thanks again.

That's ridiculous!

Eventually you have to cut back the BF anyways, and 12 months is a perfect time to do it. It will take a few days to adjust--- just like everything else for the little ones!

You’ve probably already tried or thought of this but just incase why don’t you express into bottles to give to her instead of breastfeeding with using dummies and then you can swap the milk one day to something else

Why do you think 12 months is the “perfect time” to do it?

WHO recommends breastfeeding up to 2 years old, and natural weaning age is 2-7.

You’re aware of all the benefits an older child and mum gets from breastfeeding, yes?

🙄

Not everyone wants to (or can) breastfeed for that long. Especially if you have a job and you want to sleep!

Saying that she shouldn't focus on a new baby is strange. A sibling closer to age would be way more beneficial for a baby than a few more months of breastfeeding!

Not all mother has to sacrifice everything and it won't make you a worse mother! If you want to breastfeed your child until they are older, that's your decision- but shouldn't judge people who don't want to or can't.

@Katherina02837 I think you are missing that OP has said she misses the feeds and doesn’t really want to stop, and neither does her daughter.

@PenguinRainbows You might be able to do a decent day's work on very interrupted sleep (particularly since your job appears to be "full-time guilt troll"), but most people can't/ don't want to. "Natural" infant mortality is around 28 per cent. "Natural" child rearing would involve rather less commuting to work. What's "natural" is neither here nor there. If you want to breastfeed a 7 year old, that's your choice, but it's got very little to do with the actual thread.

@BravelyThroughTheDragonsEye Actually it has a lot to do with the thread. OP has said she misses the feeds and doesn’t really want to stop, and neither does her daughter.

She is putting the possibility of a future child above the child she already has that needs her now, especially when she can actually get pregnant. She doesn’t need to wait.

If OP feels guilty then she should look into why that is.

@PenguinRainbows I breastfed beyond 2 and I wish I could go back in time and stick her straight on formula just to spite you. YOU are the reason people are put off breastfeeding. Get a hold of yourself.

@Kitcaterpillar It wouldn’t spite me 🤷‍♀️ It would only be your own child you would be doing a disservice to.