To lock my bedroom door at night?

[BananaSlug]

My 12 year old is autistic and has never really slept properly at night, some nights she can be up till 5am. I am a lone parent with other children to look after.

At night when we go to bed my daughter keeps coming into my room. I put all the technology into my room (phones/iPads etc) and shut my door, every night my daughter comes into my room 3/4/5 times and tries to take the devices. I usually put them under my pillow but she doesn’t care she still tries to take them. I’m ill at the moment and still have children to take to school I’m actually really not coping because I’m getting NO sleep all night being woken several times throughout the night but still have to get up to get kids to school in the morning despite being woken up repeatedly, she’s also waking them up and it’s affecting them as they are tired in the morning. She has her own device she just wants to take everyone else’s. I’ve come to the conclusion I need to lock my door at night so I’m not being repeatedly woken up. The other night she came in and tried to snatch my phone out of my hand I must have fallen asleep with it in my hand, it scared the life out of me. so because of this I need a lock on my door at night to prevent this happening and to enable me to get some sleep as I’m not a robot I can’t live like this. I was told on another group that I am being neglectful! And that it’s part of the territory if you have kids to be woken at night?! Erm really at 12! No I would imagine most parents don’t think they will be woken up every single night by a 12 year old. So please can anyone help me on what else I can do as right now I can’t continue like this?

do you have a car? put the devices in the car overnight and put the car key on a bracelet on your wrist.

but you have a bigger problem if your child is smart enough to try to steal devices but does not listen when you say that is wrong. this is already very challenging behaviour and could well get worse.

Talk to anyone who can help - school or social services or your daughters psychologist or GP - about getting support for this challenging behaviour. That could include respite care for you & the other kids, and for you to learn techniques to deal with this.

@BananaSlug so very difficult for all, you must be shattered 💐

I'm wondering if any of these strategies would help re. sleep?

https://livingautism.com/autism-and-sleep-ten-possible-strategies/

Honestly just get some melatonin yourself, it can be bought online or if a friend of a friend is going to the US you can get it there. read up on safe dosing and start it yourself. The devices isn’t the biggest issue, it’s that your daughter doesn’t sleep when the rest of the family needs to sleep

Do you get DLA for your dd? You can apply to the family fund for a grant to get a new ipad. Then get a child proof case to protect it. It won't 100% protect it, but other han the screen getting a direct hit should protect it.

Hlif you can't get melatonin have you considered anything else, an old fashioned anti histamine or anything? You must be at your wits end, I genuinely don't know how you are managing.

Not the point of the thread but if you know anyone going to Spain in the near future you can buy melatonin over the counter there. And Canada and the USA. My son has a prescription from a paediatrician but it's for liquid melatonin and he won't take it so i get my sister to bring tubs of the melatonin jellies home from Spain when she visits. 2.5mg is plenty strong. It won't keep them asleep, only help them fall asleep in the first instance. I thought a GP could prescribe melatonin if the child has a diagnosis but I'm not in the UK.

what about a proper safe? not a small microwave size one but a bigger one that is imovable by a 12 year old?

something like this - weights 34kg

We buy our sons melatonin from biovea.net. we had a prescription but kept forgetting the repeats so he has the same dose as prescribed.
Anyway, he's 12. He won't/can't sleep alone and is afraid of the dark. We have a no devices after bedtime rule but he has a Yoto audiobook device in his room for books, podcasts and the Yoto sleep radio. He will now fall asleep listening which sometimes takes hours, but will usually wake and come into us at some point. Then one of us swaps beds with him. If we're really knackered we swap beds at bedtime as then DS sleeps through and we do too. When we holiday one of us always shares with him. If one of us is away, again he'll be in our bed. I genuinely thought each birthday would see the year we stopped co-sleeping but I've almost accepted it's not going to happen til he goes to residential school aged 16/18/whenever.
For us, we do whatever we think will give us all the most sleep.
So yes let her have her device but keep being strict about the others - I agree with communal area storage for them, I think. And try melatonin. Maybe try some meditation (together?) on your phone at bedtime. Yoto has a free app so you can trial the bedtime radio there and see what they offer if you think it might help.
And maybe explore respite care just to get a good night's sleep yourself.

Do you have a car you could lock them in?

So would i

Yep. This.

Sorry. Realise it's your device as well etc etc. I honestly don't see the harm in getting a lock for your door. If you have working smoke alarms and things it will be fine. If there was any reason anyone needed you they can bang on your door presumably or shout you.

I'd get one of the bottom kitchen cupboards locked and put them in there at night. If they are in your room you'd get no peace I imagine

I'm so sorry Op, this sounds hellish.

What would she do if nobody had 'fancy' phones anymore as she'd broken them?
Is it just phones/tech or anything personally 'precious' to you?

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, sounds hellish. I’m rubbish without sleep, it sounds torture.

I think I would try a proper safe. Yes I would lock my door, but I think she may bang on it anyway.

Is there any access to respite care, or anyone that could come and stay for a couple of nights here and there to manager her whilst you get some sleep.

You mentioned you are a lone parent, I don’t want to pry but could the other children stay at their Dads or grandparents place for the odd night to get some sleep, I get that might not be possible.

Keep badgering about the referral.

Are there any residential schools your child could attend for children with additional needs? I don’t know if places exist for children of that age group.

How are you getting on now @Pootle23? I hope you've managed to get her some Melatonin. It's been almost life changing for us

You can order melatonin online from Piping Rock, it's an American company but is here within 5 days.