Is a pantyliner too cruel for ds 8?

[XMissPlacedX]

Me and dh have 4 children, 3 teen girls and one ds who is nearly 8. For years he has had trouble wiping his bum properly and his pants are either always smelling of urine or dirty (poop), or both.

We have tried all sorts, rewards for clean pants, punishments for dirty pants, talking to him etc.. no joy.

One of the girls suffers from water infections (I used to too), and I hate the thought of washing clothes with his pants, I feel like our clothes won't be clean with them all swishing about with urine and poop stained pants.

Would it be cruel/ mad to make him wear a pantyliner? It seems like it could be the answer but dh doesn't like the idea.

I'm genuinely trying to find an answer for this, I'm at the end of my tether.

This

he's not constipated he goes every day, he is just needing to take his time and wipe properly.
it is annoying op and if he is smelling then it's a hygiene issue not a medical one. ignore the perfectly knicker washers on here. smh at some of the reasons on here to go to the gp too!! no wonder folk can't get appointments. your not shaming your child at all your teaching him to clean his arse properly. nothing wrong with that.

I had a child with chronic constipation who had constant skid marks.

She could clean her arse properly.

It wasn't her fault and I did not waste the doctor's time going to get her treated, and get to the root cause. There's no need to shake your head.

FWIW constipation can also cause urinary incontinence (which may well be why his pants smell of urine as the op describes) and can also cause UTIs.

Thanks @coolkatt, Im sure I've read a thread about woman grossed out about their dh's who have skiddy pants on mumsnet before, I'm making sure my ds won't be one of them.

And yes it's not constipation, just laziness. So nothing wrong with teaching him about hygiene.

I don't feel guilty about withholding his favourite cereal, my god what a monster mother I am. As I'm sure it's down to laziness this is a punishment for laziness about hygiene, not so much the skiddy pants. He is nearly 8 so not a baby.

Some great advice I've had, however Im going to get the Childrens Pantyliners 'skidders' that are advertised on Amazon that a previous pp has mentioned, whilst continuing to encourage ds with his hygiene.

Thanks everyone

I don't feel guilty about withholding his favourite cereal, my god what a monster mother I am. As I'm sure it's down to laziness this is a punishment for laziness about hygiene

not a monster? ok, maybe.

You are comfortable, however, with PUNISHING him for laziness about hygiene.

Not in my world!!

I think you’ve never had a child with chronic constipation and overflowing.

dc2 had fir many years. He was forever soiling himself. It was smelly. And there was very little he could do about it. It usually looked like a heavy skid mark (and sometimes it was bad enough he’d need a shower - incl at school)
And yet, you’d see him go for a poo everyday (just nit a full bowel movement). It wasn’t looking hard etc…(see the over flowing issue)

@XMissPlacedX if you are thinking about taking him to the GP for a check up please talk prooerly to your son first. Explain that since he is still soiling his pants at his age you need to start thinking of how it might be a medical problem and he will need to talk to the doctor about it. Depending on his reaction you might not have to make that appointment.

But yes, it could be laziness or it could be constipation or it could be his diet of too much fruit/dairy/gluten/whatever. Time for the GP.