Anyone with 2 kids with 4 year gap? Is it hard? Are they close?

[LaceyLou42]

Our son turned 3 in May. Undecided about trying for a second. We always said we wanted 2 but we have left it a while and now we feel like we are getting our lives back a bit which is quite nice… rarely get any “us” time as it is, thinking this may be impossible with 2. There again the biggish gap may make life a bit easier? Would love to know how others have found a 4 year gap and what sexes they are and how they get along? Thanks.

3.5 years between mine, they're very close. There was a small time where she was able for stuff & he was too young for it that was awkward but for the most part they can do mostly the same stuff 13.5 & almost 10 now

Not quite 4 year gap but there is 3.5 years between my son and daughter. My son who is the eldest is fantastic with his sister and they get on but will see what they are like in a couple of years. I am glad they have that gap and wouldn’t want a smaller gap, I find it easier but don’t think I would have with a smaller gap. Everyone is different

My age gap is 3yrs and 7 months and they love each other a RIDICULOUS amount.

I have two boys who are 6 and 9 and they can’t be separated. They adore each other and are always saying they are each others best friends ❤️

I appreciate this love may not last forever, but that can be said for any siblings with any age gaps so I’m just going with the flow ❤️

There is exactly 4 years between me and my sister, always been close, and we're in our 40's now.

Wow fast responses love how it’s all positive so far!

4.5 gap between mine, girls. Needed one in school before we could pay nursery fees again! I honestly feel it took me 3 years to recover from a traumatic birth and be ready to start again.
Maternity leave coincided with dd1's first year at school, and it was lovely being able to do the school run everyday. They are 12 and 8 now and they get on really well. They even shared a room for a few years. It worked well for us.

I don’t think the age gap necessarily makes a big difference. I’m very fond of DSis now but we fought endlessly until I left home. And my DSs rarely get on well. Both 3.5ish year age gaps. And in both cases very different personalities.

I’m pregnant and there will be 5 years between mine!! Like you, a bigger gap than I intended but life happened. I can see lots of benefits (older one at school so only 1 baby most of the day while on mat leave, only ever childcare costs for 1, older one will be able to help and is a bit more independent) but am also concerned so nice to hear stories of kids with big age gaps being close still 😊

There's a 5.5 year age gap between my 2 and DD (6) adores her brother (7months)
She will happily sit and play with him whereas if she was younger, I don't think she'd be so patient. She is also really helpful which again if she was that bit younger, it would be different. It also means we get time with the baby when DD is at school and then can give her a bit more attention when she gets home.
Me and my sister also have a 5 year age gap.. she is my best friend and always was when growing up, we're now in our 30s xx

3 years between mine and they get on well most of the time. This biggest challenge as they got older was common interests. When they were little, we could go just about anywhere but as they got older, their interests diversified. One is sporty, one isn’t, one is studious, one isn’t etc They bicker about small stuff but watching them care for each other when one is ill or sad just melts me ❤️

Dd was born 5 days before dd1’s 4th birthday. They love each other so much but also fight like cat and dog! You’d think with the age gap the wouldn’t like/get jealous over the same things but they do!

Currently mine are 21 (b), 17 (b) and 13 (g). They all get on very well, in particular the 21 year old is best buddies with his brother and adores his DS (the feeling is mutual). The two younger ones are happy with each other but a bit more 'regular siblings' in that they can get into rows if they're feeling fractious. But make it up fast. IMO, personality has much more impact than relative age.

Four years between my son and daughter. They are as close as can be. It’s a fantastic age gap as you get one on one with them. The eldest before the youngest arrives and then the youngest once the eldest starts school. It has worked out perfectly for us so far - they are now 17 and 13.

4.5 years between our two, they are so close and always have been

We have a 4 yr gap and they are pretty close. They have their moments but they get on and I have no regrets. I was also so pleased to be on mat leave for almost all of reception year, was so lovely to do all pick ups and drop offs with no wraparound care needed.

5 years between my daughter and my son and they are close to each other and do things together. My daughter is 14 now and my son 9 years and still best friends and likes to do things together.

My daughters are grown up but 4.5 years between them and yes I think close though not geographically now

4.3 age gap here. DS2 was born a few months before DS1 started school. As others have said it was lovely to have time on mat leave to settle DS1 at school and also meant I could focus completely on DS2 during school hours and give him some one on one time.

They are now 18 and 23 and their relationship is amazing. It makes my heart burst to see them together. We had a family holiday the four of us this.year and watching them laughing and chatting.together is jut the best. They regularly go and stay with each other.

4.5 between me and my younger brother. My mum purposely did it that way so he got one on one time as a baby when I was in school. Its worked out well. We aren't super close, in that rarely spend time together without one of our parents being around - but we do get on well and we both know we could call on the other in a second if we needed anything... but that's my family all over. None of us live in each others pockets! We haven't fallen out at all since we were kids.

4 years and 48 weeks between mine. DS was 2 weeks old when DD started school. They are adults now and very close.

Love reading these, im due in 6 weeks and will have a 4.5 year gap. I always get a bit worried its too big but feel reassured now

5 years between mine and they get on really well, better than I ever could have hoped to be honest (they do fight but that's because the 2 year old is 2 😅)

We have two four year age gaps! It's a great gap, as the older one is a bit more independent and can actually make themselves useful by bringing you things while you're feeding etc. They're also old enough to not view the baby as competition in quite the same way a 2yo might.

In our case each time the older one viewed the new baby as a cross between comrade-in-arms and their own personal pet - it was endlessly amusing to watch them interact. The baby gets used to being lugged around the house inelegantly, and has their own personal entertainment squad on tap. The nature of the relationship fluctuates a bit as they grow and are sometimes at slightly different stages, but they always got on, and are still close as teens/young adults.

It's great! 4.5yrs between my daughters. First was at kindergarten/nursery when 2nd was born. Eldest was a bit more independent, so made things easier. They are 12 & 16 now, best of friends

Hmmm… my DDs are 4 years apart. Like chalk and cheese, fight like cat n dog and hate each other! They’re 21 and 17 now…. It’s got worse as they’ve got older 😞