Any tips for parents to be?

[gaydad2b]

Very excited as our twins are due at the end of October!! Any tips or things you wish you had known before becoming a parent?

Have a look at the Multiple Section on MN.

Get in as much help as you can cleaner/food deliveries/milkman.

Fill your freezer with meals to eat in the first month.

Massively reduce your expectations of what it's going to be like. Insta is just that, it's an instant.

In reality the other 23hrs and 59 mins you're likely to be surviving on very little sleep, fuelled by coffee and wondering what you've done.

Take lots of photos. My DF took at least one a day of her DD. She has a beautiful record of her growing up.

I've never gotten on the floor and engaged in fantasy play because I hate it. I do however spend loads of time outdoors swimming and cycling with my son. Play to your strengths.

No matter how bad a day has been. Draw a line under it. Tomorrow is another day and always a fresh start.

Everyone will give you advice, and a lot of it will be conflicting. Nod, smile and then go with your gut. These will be your babies and what your mum or your MIL or cousin Sarah twice removed think, is completely irrelevant. They should only make suggestions if ASKED specifically. And even then, you can disregard their advice.

And your GP has at least 7 years medical training plus goodness knows how many years experience. Your midwife and health visitor do not. If something doesn't feel right, check with your GP. He'll either agree with them in which case you have peace of mind or he'll disagree in which case you want the benefit of his 7 years training.

Finally, be kind to yourself. Being a mum is hard work, there's no user manual and no-one expects you to be perfect. Being a mum to twins, I imagine is twice as hard.

Good luck xx

Finally, be kind to yourself. Being a mum is hard work, there's no user manual and no-one expects you to be perfect. Being a mum to twins, I imagine is twice as hard

Or a Dad

Oh, and buy a baby head-thermometer thingy, don't leave it until poorly baby, 3am and on the phone to 111 like I did. 😀

My SIL did very similar, toyed our the only one

“I've never gotten on the floor and engaged in fantasy play because I hate it. I do however spend loads of time outdoors swimming and cycling with my son. Play to your strengths”
^
Oh this is a good one. Don’t try and be their entertainer and do every activity under the sun with them. It’s not doable and it sets up for them expecting to be entertained 100% of the time. I made that laudatory and had to work hard to undo it. It’s a skill to learn to just be and to have quiet time.

Sorry that should say you're not the only one

Thank you for all your great advice! I think I'm definitely the more mumly one out of us both, I'm naturally very affectionate and loving. He is also fairly affectionate but definitely has more of a dad personality. Im just hoping I can try and force myself to get out of bed for the night feeds!

Well one of you sort of has too or they don't survive!

*to

<wonders if you can become dyslexic over the course of a day>

We have decided we are going to get a perfect prep machine. I have heard several accounts of heath visitors condemning them to the fiery pits of hell but I don't care.

I am hoping to get out to some baby groups too but unsure of how soon I will feel ready for this. Any experiences of this would be amazing!

I have also started nesting like crazy!! DH keeps moaning that I am buying too much baby stuff but I can't stop myself. And quite frankly I don't want to 😂

You really won't have to force yourself, you'll be in a permastate of semi-sleep whereby a baby stirs and your eyes jump open instantly and you wonder if you actually even slept at all....for at least 4 months!

Set up a 'plonking station' in every room or every place you intend to spend time in your home, so you can safely plonk a baby while you do 10 seconds of xyz....changing mat on the bedroom floor, changing mat on bathroom floor, bouncy chair in the kitchen, playmat in the living room etc etc.....!

And accept that adequate is perfectly acceptable. Baby puked on themself and you wiped it off with a muslin but didn't change the clothes? Adequate. Ran out of nappy cream so used vaseline or nothing instead? Adequate. Washing machine on but clothes not hung yet? Adequate. Breakfast consumed but cereal boxes still out? Adequate.

Like a pp suggested take lots of photos (and videos!) for a record of growing up, download the app '1 Second Every Day' - you can sit and backfill it during nap times and it creates wonderful montages for you!

Congratulations and good luck!!!

I have 6m old twins!

Perfect prep, one upstairs and one downstairs makes the earlier months much easier.
Twin pillow is your best friend.
Activity gym and a decent sized playmat are key.
Lots of twin parents love two bouncers, ours never actually used their bouncers though!

Get them on the same schedule as soon as you can and life becomes 10x easier for you, once you've mastered feeding them both at the same time (twin pillow!), it soon falls into place.

Don't worry about whether you'll wake up, you definitely will! There's a great Facebook group called twins uk support group.

I took them to baby groups from 12w old (4w corrected), the earlier you get out with them lots the easier it is. My dh uses his flexi time to come to baby sensory with us once a week as I find that one difficult with two as they've got older but can't move yet and they get frustrated. When they were younger I took them by myself and it was fine, and I'll take them by myself again when they've passed this phase!

Twins are the best, so much love! Enjoy it all.

I was a twin (not identical) so I hope they will always have each other to rely on like I do with my sibling

Changing table to save your back, and always have a muslin nearby. When you are giving birth remember that no matter what there’s a baby at the end of it all! Remember you obviously need to clean a certain amount, but letting the place go a bit so you can take a break is necessary too. Winnie the Pooh books are gorgeous bed time reading. You and your dh will want to kill each other at times, try and hug it out😅

You and your dh will want to kill each other at times, try and hug it out😅

So accurate!!!

Luckily our surrogate is carrying our twins and we are so lucky to have her. I have been humbled by her selflessness and we have become really great friends along the way. I have already prepared her a 'pamper hamper' for when she comes out of hospital. I really want her to still be a part of the twins lives and she said she is happy to meet up every so often. We have already had a photo of the 3 of us framed to put in the nursery for when the kids are old enough!

Batch cook as much as you can before the birth, and fill the freezer. Spring clean as much as you can before the birth. If anyone offers help take it. Get as much sleep as you can. But most importantly enjoy them it goes very quickly.

gaydad2b
Sorry, just jumped in with everything in my head, didn’t read properly!! Ah that’s lovely, best of best of luck with it all (and most of what I said still stands!!) x

Freezer is well and truly stocked! The air fryer is the best thing we ever bought and I don't think I would be able to live without it now. I am normally quite adventurous with our cooking (DH can barely boil an egg), but I definitely feel I'm going to have to start simplifying things a bit with kids on the way!

Don't worry I'm a very hard person to offend 😅. I'm definitely going to be the Mum - dad. Which I guess makes me Mad 😂

Give them choices so they can feel a sense of control and practice little decision making... but over things that don't matter like red cup/blue cup... or get dressed then clean teeth or the other way round... then when you need to impose your will over something that does matter, like putting a seat belt on, they are more likely to comply happily as it won't feel like they have no say over anything, their resistance isn't as fierce if they do get a say in some things.

Sort your house out before baby arrives.

Get rid of all clutter and stuff you've been meaning to give away or sell etc.

That is at it will be much easier to keep on top of housework.

You don't need half the baby stuff you think you'll need.

Nap during the day when baby sleeps. I avoided sleep deprivation by having several naps a day to recharge myself in the early days.

I also did a workout every day to Mr Motivators BLT, bums, legs and run so that I got back in shape and that gave me lots of energy.

Get out and about as much as possible. Going for a walk with baby in the pram as it's great exercise for you and the fresh air does you and baby good.