Son keeps hitting

[DM1720]

Hi so my son (just turned age 6) has a habit of hitting others. He hits me and his dad and his brother. He did hit out in crèche and we just assumed it was a phase and he was young. We thought he’d grow out of it. We talked to him always about using gentle hands and not to hurt others. He started school last year and it happened a few times (that we know of) but since going back this September it’s gotten out of hand. He’s hitting his close friends and last week one of our neighbours got in touch to say he’d hit their little girl and pulled her hair.
Has anyone been through this? Any advice? I’m so stressed about it. We read books about what to do when you feel like hitting. We talk to him all the time about being kind to others. I’ve explained he’ll lose all his friends if he continues. Nothing works and I’m so upset about jt. Any advice welcome!
My husband has suggested taking things from him… e.g. his new scooter, his Lego etc… and only giving back once he earns them with good behaviour. Does this kind of thing work?

@Threeplusmore Of course he has been hit back. I wish it was as simple as that and that he’d learn not to hit when someone hits him. It’s a bit more complex I’m afraid.

@BoohooWoohoo Yes he has been hit back. It doesn’t teach him anything … just upsets him for a bit and don’t worry he would get no sympathy from us if someone hits him back.

Role play when he’s calm is a good idea.

I speak to him lots when he’s calm but haven’t tried role play. He knows it’s wrong when we chat, we’ve practiced breathing exercises, finding a quiet space etc but he’s not putting into practice anything we talk about at home. Im also not even sure it’s out of anger he’s doing it.
Im meeting his teacher today so that we can have more communication and be on the same page with things. The school have only ever contacted me once about this.

Ok so there is questions about possible SEN. I would engage with the school agree a set impact for the same behaviour across school and home.

Secondly I would look into engagement with him in social stories about frustration, hitting etc.

Thirdly if you think there is frustration Sen or no Sen I would find some resources for him when he learns to identify he is struggling.

We had a boxing bag.

Hi OP, can I ask if you found any helpful strategies for your DS? My ASD 6yo is lashing out too, today very seriously, and I am at my wits end