Bad experience at baby group

[Daisysimply]

Hi just looking to see if anyone else has had a similar experience at baby groups.
I’ve been taking my little girl to baby group for a couple of months and haven’t really had a bad experience up until today. I haven’t managed to make any mum friends at them as people don’t seem to speak to each other much (not sure if it’s just the one I go to) but it gets us out the house and my little girl seems to enjoy them. However I’ve been to a new one the past couple weeks and today was honestly horrible. They are a lovely group of women but I just felt so left out from every conversation. At one point I looked round and everyone was talking to someone apart from me. I struggle with joining in conversations as I have social anxiety but I tried to make eye contact and smile at others in the hope someone would talk to me but no one even looked at me. Probably is my fault for not trying hard enough to join in but still felt like someone could have tried to make conversation. Has massively put me off going and made me quite upset tbh :(

I did go to NCT and I don't know whether it was because my baby was born 3 weeks after everyone else's, but in all the coffee/lunch meet ups afterwards, I always felt left out. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed they'd all bonded and formed firm friendships and moved on.

I abandoned them and started going to a baby group held at the primary school instead, and made friends easily. I am still good friends with 3 women from that baby group now and our babies are all in their 20's

Totally normal unfortunately!

Not in my experience, in several different places around the country although I was part of a very cliquey PTA once (should that be PITA?). I'm quite shocked that is has been for you and others on the thread to this extent. 😢So sorry to hear that you have had this experience OP. Be assured that there are nice welcoming baby groups and classes out there. Perhaps in the next few weeks you need to go baby group 'shopping' OP, while steeling yourself to not too much of any one group.

As others said, I've also found this at every single baby group I've gone to, and I've gone to quite a few! In the end I just stopped expecting to make any friends and went for myself to get out the house and for my son to enjoy, and then if I did chat to anybody that was just a bonus. I found the peanut app better for making mum friends. A lot of people attend groups with their friends and so they're not interested in making other friends unfortunately.

I feel like EVERY mother has experienced this and it's pretty universal.
I've def been on both sides of it so have all the mothers I know..

Don't get too hung up on it

I can relate.

I have found church run toddler groups tend to have someone floating around chatting to those who have no one to chat to and if you mention you have struggled to make mum friends they will immediately but subtlety introduce you to other mums seeking similar. The expensive groups were always the worst for me no one ever spoke to me at them

Every baby class sounds like this one. My daughter took her wee girl to a local one and it was clique central and that was where she knew some other mums. Every young mum I've spoken to says the same thing.

I'm fairly quiet and shy and I genuinely go to these groups just to get out of the house and do something with my baby.

I have no interest in talking to anyone. Have PND with my second and find conversations really hard at the moment. If someone spoke to me I would say hi and a little inane comment 'oh what gorgeous eyes' or whatever but then I would just carry on as I was. I am local so occasionally I take my mum along or there is someone there from school that I have a quick chat with. If someone was on their own looking over, then perhaps I might look like I was in a 'clique'.

Unfortunately it's no one else's responsibility to meet your social needs. Although saying that, some of the mums previous posters have met do sound like absolute twats.

Having been fat, skinny, and all sizes in between over the years (medical conditions and fertility treatment...) and also qualifications in social psychology...

People absolutely make less of an effort to talk to you if you're overweight. Also to hold doors, let you cross the road, etc etc. Shouldn't be the case, but, internal bias exists