Just a little cry into the ether really as I can't really go into it in real life as I'd get upset, but I am so, so sad that I am back to work soon and won't be with my baby every day 😔
I know I am so fortunate that I've been able to afford a whole year off, and by the time I go back it will actually have been 13 months, but I just feel so gutted. She is still so little.
I am the main earner so can't afford to go part-time and my work turned down my flexible working request to do compressed hours over 4 days, which I'd really been counting on to be able to still have a day with her a week. I was so upset when they told me, I'd really been relying on that day to make me feel better about going back and now it's gone - they've agreed to trialing one afternoon off a week, which is better than nothing, but still means no days out, no baby groups etc (because they all happen in the morning). Especially once she moves to one nap because she'll likely sleep until about 2 so it'll barely even be an afternoon.
She isn't walking yet so I know I'll miss her first steps, her first words....there's so much I won't see her do now.
I know I'm not alone and am so lucky compared to many working mums but I just feel so so sad every day that goes by now. She is starting nursery 2 days a week in 2 weeks, and when I start back to work she'll be with my parents the other 2.5 days and it's coming around so quickly. She has her first settling session tomorrow.
Never thought I'd feel so emotional about it but I'm truly gutted ☹️😥 I'd love to be able to be around more in these few years before school.