When does parenting get less exhausting?

[Garden111]

I have an 18 month old here and feel totally exhausted constantly. I feel like I’m in survival mode and can only focus on making it through the day. I’m just so so tired.

I know this is probably to be expected since I have such a young child who still doesn’t sleep very well. Just wondering when to expect to see the light at the end of the tunnel 😵‍💫. I thought by now I would have more energy but I don’t. I work part time in a fairly easy role so managing okay for now, but I’m starting uni full time soon and anxious about how I will cope when I feel like crashing every single day.

The primary school years are the easiest. So it'll get much easier around 3/4 and then more difficult again around 11/12. Enjoy the good years in between.

I would look into sleep training though. That will make a big difference and no reason an 18 month old can't sleep through the night.

I think 18 months was the most physically exhausting age but at least you can put them down and you know where they are and you are their world. When they reach 17, 18 you have the mental worry of them driving, drinking too much, boyfriend/girlfriend woos, financing university, applying for jobs, exams, pressures from friend and social media, waiting for the door key to turn at 2.30 am when they get in safely from a night out...Its alot!

I think between 2-3 was a really good year for us. He’s 3 now and got attitude

It will get easier from around 3. Letting them make their own breakfast (cereal with milk) was a complete game changer, we had lie ins (until 7 or 8) again!
Primary school age is great, and then towards the end of primary / beginning of secondary it gets worse again. We are now coming out the other side of it again, youngest is 17 and things seem to be getting easier again.

We found 12-18 months horrendous. It's got steadily better since then (now just over 2). She's sleeping well, eating better, communicating well and is physically able enough to do more and be tired out. No idea what's ahead but I agree with others that 18 months was hellish. Hang in there.

My dad says the first 52 years are the hardest!

I'm the oldest. I'm 52!

My oldest is 17 and completely exhausts me!

13 and 17! Miles easier

Am waiting for 16 and 20 when it will be even easier as DS2 will have his own bike!

but honestly aged about 4 was the start of some kind of normality

I found it got easier around 2, when they're able to sit and play with something/watch something for long enough that you can actually sit down for a bit and relax. When they understand basic safety (maybe 5/6 for nt kids) even better, you can nap while they watch a film on the sofa with you.

For us, at the point where we could give verbal instructions and he understood "no" it got easier.
So about 2.5
Around 5 he started getting into bed with me and playing with my phone or looking at books rather than wanting to get up and go downstairs at 5.30am so that got easier.
At around 7 covid hit and he discovered FaceTiming his friends (yes I know...too early) and would then spend time in his room so things got less intense during the day.
He also began waking up at a more respectable time and not expecting me to get up straight away.
From there he became increasingly independent and "easy"

So it'll begin to happen gradually quite soon...hang on!

I think you only have to make it to 2 to feel it getting easier. You'll worry about them more and more the older and older they get as they gain independence and you no longer control their movements or have the ability to keep them safe but by 2 / 2.5 they will be able to play a little by themselves. They sleep a lot when they are babies and they can amuse themselves for short periods by 4. The time in-between is hard especially when there is only 1 child. I found subsequent children were entertained by their slightly older siblings involving them in play or just providing some fun for them to watch. You are everything to the first child at eighteen months but it passes.

😄😄😄 He's funny

Having had the year from hell with my 17 DD I would say it never gets easier. Bigger people, bigger problems. I look back on the toddler years with great fondness- physically exhausting (had 3 under) but lovely. Teenagers are a different beast and nothing is lovely . Sorry, that doesn't help you does it?!

I have a DD13, and the challenge has become trying to find anything to be required for! .... it's much more about worrying that she has needs or things going on that I could help with that she isn't telling me, than her demanding attention! It can be stressful, but certainly isn't time-consuming for now!

I agree things get a little easier most years.

For me, the big change came around 3-4... she can get her own coat on.... wipe her own bum, brush hair... go up the Stairs without me having to be within 30 cms, in case she stumbles, and she has some sense of self preservation (won't stick her hand in a naked flame because it looks pretty!) etc....

Then there was another big advance when there was a bit more emotional steadiness/maturity. Maybe around 7..,. When it felt they had a good sense of basic life, not needing to explain or justify every single little thing, and less need to moderate/prepare for everything/ teach the basics. And you can start giving tasks that actually help you, rather than just to teach them how to do tasks.

And now, into teens, it is another big leap- run out of milk? I can actually suggest she pops to the local shops and gets it! I can be out for a couple of hours without arranging childcare. They have 3-4 basic meals they can make for themselves if they are hungry. Their desire to interact also shifts much more to friends, so far less is required of you.

I would imagine this can reverse at any time. And the thing that scares me about teens is how big the problems can become and how it is hard to know about them.... but in terms of actual exhaustion, it tends to be much easier!

What helped was finally giving up adult time in the evenings and going to bed ridiculously early.

When you think in the animal kingdom, most babies pop out and instantly start running around......

Where did humanity go wrong?!
Our debilitation is basically a sign of our privilege.... no big predator will snap us up if we're uselessly dependant with no instincts for self preservation for YEARS after birth!

My DS got much easier when he turned 2. And he’s delightful company now, which makes a lot of difference.. I feel like I get much more back now so it’s not such a thankless task.

Both mine are off to university in the next fortnight.. here’s hoping..

It's less exhausting when they either sleep through or handle their waking for themselves (my 11yo doesn't sleep well but she doesn't wake us).

And when they can deal with their own bottoms, and when they get less fragile and prone to risking their lives constantly.