When does parenting get less exhausting?

[Garden111]

I have an 18 month old here and feel totally exhausted constantly. I feel like I’m in survival mode and can only focus on making it through the day. I’m just so so tired.

I know this is probably to be expected since I have such a young child who still doesn’t sleep very well. Just wondering when to expect to see the light at the end of the tunnel 😵‍💫. I thought by now I would have more energy but I don’t. I work part time in a fairly easy role so managing okay for now, but I’m starting uni full time soon and anxious about how I will cope when I feel like crashing every single day.

In my experience, 2 is slightly less exhausting than 1, 3 less exhausting than 2, 4 less than 3.

Basically every day you get through, things will get very very slightly better. (I tell myself, but it feels like the case now they are 3 and 5 and they are potty trained, sleep through, I can leave them for ages and do chores etc etc).

I think at 3.

But then lots of people start having their second around then so the golden time is short lived in that case - 4 months in my case.

My DD has just turned 3 and as much as she can be extremely, ahem, testing at times, she’s now at an age where I can leave her playing for a few minutes, or if she comes into my room at 6am on the weekend I can pop CBeebies on and doze for a bit. Contrasted with her 16mo brother who is full on kamikaze and needs 100% focused parenting every second he’s awake!

I am, however, looking forward to the teenage stage and getting up at 9am on a Saturday to a silent house 😁

Haha, finally a silver lining to having had two under two! <looks disparagingly at nursery bill>

We have a 2 and a year old! 12 months and 3 weeks between them and my god it's HARD!! 18 months I found the worst age cos they're in between, can't communicate but are desperately trying, when they got 2 it'll ease 🤞👍😊

18 months is hands down the most exhausting age.

I feel you! Both me and my DH grew 18 months is the absolute hardest when they learn to walk, don't want to sit in the pram and high chair for long etc. 3 years is when we found things got MUCH easier with both ours. But it will get easier from here on in

3.5-4 imo and i've got 9 ranging from 22 to 3 in november.

It gets progressively easier, when they reach about 8 years old there's a big shift, can go swimming alone, it's the minimum recommended age for using household appliances etc

I thought as DD moved to secondary school I was on easy street, but I think she's needed more active parenting and counselling age 11-14 than she needed age 7-11.

When they move out 😂

Have you read the Ferber Sleep Training book?
If your child sleeps all night, you'll feel much better.

Yeah, 18 months is really hard. They're mobile, you can't take your eyes off them as they fo crazy things, climb, put things in mouths. It definitely does get easier step by step. You suddenly realise they can put their seat belt on or undo it, open a car door, take their plate out, get their own water etc age 5. Until then there's loads of steps where things do get easier. Depends on the child. I'd say 18 months is the hardest though.

If you ask my Mum - never! It’s more the type of support/parenting that changes as the child gets older - less doing everything from them, and more emotional and to some extent financial support and guidance and giving and taking when it comes to independence and making mistakes.

If sleep is the main issue would you consider sleep training?

3 and a half mine slept through for the first time and by 4 it's more reliable. Toys begun going upstairs at 4 too so the house becomes more manageable.

It doesn't! It changes of course and they are not as physically needy and demanding but they still rely on you emotionally and their strops and tantrums and what have you can be absolutely exhausting, especially when they can argue with you until the cows come home.

I thought it'd get easier when they can go out and play with friends etc and when they spend most of their time at school but then you have to help them navigate their relationships and fight their corner when it comes to injustices.

I found they were less physically tiring when they went to school, but then it becomes more mentally tiring. I suspect that aspect continues until theyre 18. My 2 kids are 16 and 11.

Thanks for all the insight :) It sounds like 3-5 years is when it will get easier, although I understand I still might lose sleep over worrying about him when’s he’s 15 or 25!
I feel such a mix of emotions because I desperately don’t want to wish time away but equally I am finding this so relentless and hard at times.

3-4 years old. And then I had DS2! 😬

I would say you’re bottom of the curve.

even my bad sleepers - and they were very bad sleepers - were more enjoyable and less exhausting to be with during their waking hours by 2.

About 7 then starts again when they are 13 then the teenage mood swings hit .

I always say around 18 months is the most exhausting because they want to do everything and are non stop running everywhere, but are too young to leave them to it. By 2 it gets a bit easier. Although I have 3 aged 5 and under including my youngest who is 18 months, and to be fair they all exhaust me in their own ways 😅

Mine’s 19 months and I feel you! He’s totally adorable but also it’s exhausting. He needs constant attention, doesn’t play alone, getting big toddler emotions but can’t communicate what he wants, wants into everything, doesn’t stop moving until he basically falls over. My partner and I are in a constant tag team. Oh and he takes freaking ages to go to sleep most nights and I’m basically nearly ready for sleep myself by the time he does!

I’m trying to study too. It’s tough, not impossible, but not easy!

Here for the replies, I’d love to know, eldest is 15.

(years)

IME they get easier from age 3. Mine are teens now.