Not a rant, genuinely curious - breastfeeding

[DidYeAye22]

I combi fed my baby who’s just turning 1, and I’m so confused by some of the attitudes towards bottle feeding that I’ve come across now she’s turning 1…

1. Why is a woman who breastfeeds her baby until 2 or older praised and encouraged, but I have to take my baby off formula ASAP now she’s 1? I am cutting down to once a day before bed but I’m just genuinely really confused. If it’s supposed to be an alternative to breast milk, why is it so so bad that she still gets some milk past age 1?

2. The whole thing about the bottles and their teeth. Surely if the majority of modern bottles are designed off a woman’s nipple (“closer to nature” etc) then the kids getting breastfed would be having this big panic about getting buck teeth. As they’re supposed to be designed to be as close to the real thing as possible?? I just truly don’t get the panic about transitioning from bottles to sippy cup so soon. She will only go to bed on a bottle so I’m not giving that up yet.

Genuinely curious, have come across a lot of weird attitudes towards this!

Some paediatrician! Did he (I'm assuming?) actually say that about using you as a dummy.

Shocking.

Yes agree with all the other comments about breastfeeding past one. NO one praises it, I’m not sure where you got that idea op! I’m still breastfeeding my 18 month old but don’t shout about it because I know others think it’s weird. There’s probably loads of us who do feed until 2+ but sadly society has decided it’s weird past about 1.

This is a bit of a weird post. Are you suggesting that by bottle feeding I didn’t read or educate myself? Just seems a bit of an odd statement to make? I wasn’t asking advice about whether or not to do it, I was questioning the odd assumptions and attitudes I’ve come across about it.

I think it depends on where you live.

My DD2 is 14mo and still breastfeeding before bed. I don't suppose many people know as we don't feed during the day, but I can't imagine the people I know being shocked or having an opinion on it. I'm happy to keep going until she or I want to stop. I know plenty of people still feeding well past a year - one of DD1's nursery friends is 4 and still has a feed before bed. Most people I've known who have breastfed either stop well before 6 months or sometime between 1-2, with a few going longer. I think it's just that you don't see it much as past 1, feed times tend to be reduced and more regular, so people often aren't feeding out and about.

And dummies replicate nipples, not the other way round.

The no point in formula after 1 thing is not because they shouldn't have milk after 1, they absolutely should, but just because the formula side of it is unnecessary - they are getting a lot of nutrients from food instead by this point so cow's milk is fine (and much cheaper and easier to serve!). Breast milk has other properties (and the mechanism of feeding itself is a soothing thing) which means you can't really compare the two.

That’s against WHO’s guidance and there is plenty of research to say otherwise.

OP - Formula is an ultra processed food so cow milk would be considered by many to be a preferable option after the age of 1.

I live in London and most women I know still breastfeed their toddlers. Maybe it’s different elsewhere? Also I see a lot of it on instagram from influencers etc. Could just be my algorithm!

Really? Because I'm quite the anomaly in my friendship groups because I pretty much bottle fed all of my children, the breastfeeders up to at least one year old are the norm. Depends where you live probably.

Yeah this is 100% my experience

Oh and the bottle thing is because of the way milk pools around teeth when feeding from a bottle - it can cause decay if used as a sleep aid if they fall asleep with it in their mouth, which some people let older toddlers do.

I think it depends on where you live.

I think you must be right Anne as this seems to be quite common reading the other posts.

I suppose, thinking about it, my immediate circle, had family all b/f, including mothers, aunts etc, for varying lengths but always over 6 months. Many for years. It varied with mine from c9 months (which I regret, I had returned to work when she was about 7 months & felt I couldn't keep b/fing) to 18 months (felt about perfect, for me). My DSis b/f for years as they were desperate sleepers & this was all that would get them to sleep. 😀

But it still didn't seem generally unusual or commented-on. And I'm in Ireland, not great b/f rates at all.

1: Most women who extend bf don't get encouragement rather the opposite but the rates are extremely low and its the WHO recommendation.
Formula is expensive and not required past 1 fine if you want to give it but cost is extreme when not required and cows milk is fine. Breastmilk contains antibodies etc which cannot be replicated in formula.
I currently get asked a lot why I am still bf my 19 month old and also get it's foe you not for him at this point etc etc etc

2: regardless of marketing bottle teets cause pooling of milk which contains natural sugars and causes tooth decay if not careful. Bf is a different action (nipple further back) milk doesn't pool the same way and we are also encouraged by dentists to brush their teeth after a night feed anyway to also protect against cavities.

On the first point I disagree. My cousin is choosing to breastfeed until 2 and she is definitely not being encouraged. Instead she's getting lots of judgement and people thinking it's creepy...

Yes I should say that I never got negative comments really for bottle feeding, but the assumption was always kind of sympathetic head-tilty - i.e. that I must have tried breastfeeding and 'failed' (which was certainly true for two of my children to be fair, but one of them I never even tried and he was always formula fed).

Echoing what others have said, I never got any praise or encouragement for feeding past 1. In fact a healthcare processional said I should stop feeding at 10 months as there was ‘no longer any value in it.’

Haha yes, head tilt and the “fed is best!” / “do whatever works best for you both ❤️” comments. My baby was in the NICU with health issues and prem, so I tried my best but my mental health genuinely suffered so so much from focusing so hard on trying to breastfeed. A midwife told me to keep my supply up I’d have to pump for 8 hours a day and I had a panic attack! TBH once she got her medicine that was the number 1 priority for me, and the feeding was sort of a secondary thing (but obv still important), but I think it really helped me realise that it didn’t matter at all how I fed her, as long as she was healthy and growing

Statistically the majority of women in the UK don't breastfeed beyond a few months so it certainly does depend where you live.

@DidYeAye22 youll find that people have very different ideas on what’s ok or not from one country to the next.
Thats because actually what you are told ‘should happen’ isn’t always logical.

This is what I was about to say, reading my way through the thread. Feeding to sleep isn't good for the teeth. I suspect (and hope, because otherwise it would be a horrible generalisation of mothers giving either breast or bottle milk), that this is the meaning behind it.

He is wrong. The WHO recommended breastfeeding until at least two if possible. Breast milk continues to provide benefits to the child including building up their immunity.

I think no matter your method of feeding there is always this sudden shift from outsiders attitudes. One morning it's perfectly fine for you to be bottle or breast feeding your baby or toddler then literally overnight it suddenly becomes creepy/odd/unnecessary.

Am in france, combi fed for first few months then formula. DS still has formula now at 19m - sometimes cows milk but somethings formula. Here the formula is a carry on so from 1-3years. He eats well 3 times a day and a 4pm snack, no problems with food but still loves a bottle and has 3 or 4 a day still, he is v v tall though.

That’s interesting, maybe it’s a London thing. I do hope it’s becoming the norm then, as I feel like the idea we must stop breastfeeding at 6 months is quite a dated view (my parents generation). I’m not far from London either but def feel my friends/ family would judge!

At the crèche here most of the kids are still on formula beyond 1 if that reassures you. The bf rate here is low beyond 3-4 months old because most mums are back at work around 3 months after birth. So here it is quite normal X

I’m breastfeeding my preschooler but not only can I never talk about it without people accusing me of being a pervert or weird (despite the fact that many preschoolers still have a dummy / bottle before bed) I had to train my DS to refer to it in a way that nobody else could understand.

As for why you need to take a child off formula once they hit 12 mths - unlike with breastmilk the vitamins in formula are no longer enough so it just gives empty calories after a point (eg kids on formula past 1 are more likely to get rickets etc) . Cows milk or fortified plant based milks are much more nutritious from that perspective. Plus there’s the money side of it. Why on earn would you want to keep paying when there were cheaper and healthier alternatives?