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Original poster

Asking for vouchers instead of gifts for 4th birthday party

45 replies

welshgirl1980 · 10/09/2023 08:27

My DD is 4 next month and I'm arranging a party for her for the first time. I'll be inviting her school nursery class and playgroup class. As she's just started nursery I don't really know any of the parents yet and only know a couple of mums to say hello to in playgroup.

As with most young kids she has lots of toys already (probably too many 🙈) so was thinking of putting on the invitations that if they would like to get her a gift (but definitely not compulsory) then we would really appreciate a small gift voucher (£5 or less) for smyths or such instead of a gift which we can then put towards a more expensive gift for her.

If you would received this on a invite would you be relived you don't need to find a gift for a child you hardly know, or would think it was really cheeky of me?

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pizzaHeart · 10/09/2023 08:35

I would think that it was very cheeky. Those who wants to gift money will do it anyway. Some people will ask and that will be your opportunity to mention voucher to Smyths. Others will do what is the most convenient for them and it might be a book from The Works.

Flippingflamingo · 10/09/2023 08:36

Have the party and accept you are going to get a house full of tat from it.

Casiotoad · 10/09/2023 08:38

It makes total sense but sadly a bit cheeky, getting a voucher might be less convenient for the parent or if the family don’t have a lot of money they might get something in a sale or re-gift (especially if they get asked to a lot of parties)

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Colourfulponderings · 10/09/2023 08:38

Can’t you put please don’t bring a gift as we already struggle for space. Then people don’t feel obliged and if people really want to give something will bring a book or voucher and it will have been their own choice.

JoyceBarry · 10/09/2023 08:40

Just ask for no presents.

Youvegotafriendinme · 10/09/2023 08:40

A parent was talk of the other class the other month for doing this. My friend said how annoyed everyone was. This is the exact reason I won’t do a class party!

Whinge · 10/09/2023 08:41

I think it's cheeky to ask for money / vouchers. If you're worried about the amount of gifts then put no gifts or invite less people.

Clymene · 10/09/2023 08:44

Whinge · 10/09/2023 08:41

I think it's cheeky to ask for money / vouchers. If you're worried about the amount of gifts then put no gifts or invite less people.

Edited

Yes I agree with this.

You can't get vouchers for less than a fiver so essentially you're charging people five quid to attend your child's party

Fourunderfourx · 10/09/2023 08:44

My friend's and I do this as we all have too many toys but I wouldn't if you don't know the parents.

converseandjeans · 10/09/2023 08:45

I don't think you can put that on the invite.

When DS was little we had a couple of years of gifts then suddenly everyone started giving £10 in a card with sweets. It was so much easier than trying to find a suitable present. Plus the kids would have £120ish to spend on something decent. You could start trend off - but you can't ask for it

Fairyduck · 10/09/2023 08:48

You seperate your dds gifts, don't give her total free choice - quietly as its happening. Have now, regift box (doubles, similar to something owned, will not be played with), keep but tuck away for later.

Open after the party at home - she will forget what she has when she opens the next gift.

Sporkle99 · 10/09/2023 08:48

My son had an invite recently that said 'what's most important to us is your presence, not your presents. Instead of buying a gift, we'd love a playdate instead.' I thought this was lovely and a few people did go out to cinema/soft play etc and it was like an extension of their birthday as they had lots of birthday outings.

SisterWedge · 10/09/2023 08:49

It makes sense but I wouldn't do it. I often pick up bargains as I go and have a box of party gifts. When we are invited to a party I use something out of the box for a gift.

Only one parent I know has listed what the child might like (various thomas trains) but I didn't feel duty bound to use the list. They can always regift my gift if its not to their taste!

Caro678 · 10/09/2023 08:49

I would just say please,no gifts on the invitations.

FusionChefGeoff · 10/09/2023 08:49

As the parent you can easily limit how much your daughter actually gets:

snaffle a few wrapped presents straight into hiding as you unload the car
any dupes you can just keep to one side
once opened, there will be too many for her to keep track of so choose some which seemed to make less of an impact and keep them aside
you end up with up to half to keep and the other half aside

Then you choose a few to 'give' to her at Christmas and donate the rest to kids Christmas appeals there's always loads around looking for new boxed toys.

romdowa · 10/09/2023 08:49

Fiver parties are very popular in my area. All the parents agree to just put five quid in a card.

WandaWonder · 10/09/2023 08:51

I get the logic but say no presents is more appropriate

goingtotown · 10/09/2023 08:52

I wouldn't be happy giving a voucher.
I'd ignore the request & send a gift wrapped present. Yes you're being cheeky.

FusionChefGeoff · 10/09/2023 08:52

Forgot to say I really wanted to limit the amount of crap we gave and got so set out fully intentioned to give vouchers / cash.

But then I realised that for DC the act of walking from the car carrying a wrapped box to hand over to party child was a big part of the party experience. I didn't want to explain to them that we'd put money in the card as they didn't yet understand the value money - a huge box of tat was WAY more precious - so they thought we were being mean!!

2019ggg · 10/09/2023 08:53

Flippingflamingo · 10/09/2023 08:36

Have the party and accept you are going to get a house full of tat from it.

Yeah this sorry.

You can’t ask for vouchers for Smyths or whatever.

OneCup · 10/09/2023 08:57

A parent at my school basically said to only bring a card and donate one pound in a box at the entrance of the hall. She didn't want people to be out of pocket and, like you, her son had lots of toys. Of course it's also better for the environment!
Everyone including her son seemed happy with the principle.

Sugarfree23 · 10/09/2023 08:57

Sorry its a tad cheeky.

OneCup · 10/09/2023 08:57

Ps. The son would then get the £15-20 to spend on what he wants

Moveoverdarlin · 10/09/2023 08:59

I think it’s really cheeky. We’d all like our children to receive vouchers instead of piles of crap but you can’t dictate what people buy. It’s also a little underwhelming for a 4 year old little girl to open cards with vouchers in. My daughter is nearly 5 and just wouldn’t get the concept of a voucher. However she would LOVE ripping open presents of bead kits, Barbie dolls, plastic jewellery, hair clips, loom bands, colouring stuff etc.

It would be an utter pain in the ass for me to get to a SMYTHS, just looked and my nearest one is 13 miles away. I wouldn’t drive a 26 mile round trip for a 5 pound voucher.

LadyWithLapdog · 10/09/2023 09:07

OP I commend you for trying to reduce environmental waste and tat. I think it would do kids good to get them less interested in this as well. I don’t know what the answer is at this age but I love the idea of exchange of play dates.

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