Asking for vouchers instead of gifts for 4th birthday party

[welshgirl1980]

My DD is 4 next month and I'm arranging a party for her for the first time. I'll be inviting her school nursery class and playgroup class. As she's just started nursery I don't really know any of the parents yet and only know a couple of mums to say hello to in playgroup.

As with most young kids she has lots of toys already (probably too many 🙈) so was thinking of putting on the invitations that if they would like to get her a gift (but definitely not compulsory) then we would really appreciate a small gift voucher (£5 or less) for smyths or such instead of a gift which we can then put towards a more expensive gift for her.

If you would received this on a invite would you be relived you don't need to find a gift for a child you hardly know, or would think it was really cheeky of me?

I'm quite chilled about this sort of thing and sometimes I do buy vouchers as gifts for young kids, usually Clarks or Smyths. But even I would think this rude, sorry!

No you can't suggest what gift to bring in a 4 year olds party invite. That would seem rude. It's different if people ask you what your DD would like then you can suggest it.

If you genuinely don't want loads of crap toys then put no presents please on invite.
But do be aware that the giving and receiving of gifts is a big part of the party for some children

Just say no presents, your child clearly is lucky enough to have plenty already. Enjoy the party and remove any need for parents to have to worry about a gift.

Asking for anything specific for a 4 year old is grabby imo

Nope

Well mostly I'd be delighted and hope it caught on. But I wouldn't do it because you do run the risk of people thinking you're cheeky.

Also, if it doesn't catch on and everyone else gets the mountain of tat, your DD may feel a bit shit about that - there is nothing more exciting than the mountain of tat when you're 4, even if it makes the parents want to weep.

(Also, we did a whole class party for DD's fifth birthday and really really didn't need any new toys, but actually there was a huge range of stuff and most of it has been very well played with. I feel much less negative about the whole thing in retrospect!)

Could you suggest donations towards sponsoring an animal at a local zoo/sealife as an alternative? Maybe that’s something the children could get more on board with and sounds less grabby… then you could have a day out at some point with dd to visit her animal?

The gifts that are brought to a kids party are not just about your child having a present or too many presents it is actually beneficial to the child guest to learn about giving.

It is too cheeky to ask for a voucher. It is better to state no presents, but even then some little guests will bring a present.

When your little one is invited to a party, that is when you can start the trend of putting in a gift card if you feel that is what you want to do.

Little kids are not usually that impressed with a gift card. And I do agree will be overwhelmed with a mountain of presents. Opening at home, you can see what you already have and similar or what your dc isn't interested in and you can put them aside to regift or leave a couple of years and give to school fair or give to the charities that ask for new gifts for Christmas eg your food bank or salvation army or local radio station

Thank you for all your replies, I will definitely NOT be suggesting vouchers then 🙈🤦‍♀️

I think I'll do what lots of you have suggested and drip feed the presents she receives and take out any duplicates and ones she's not all that bothered about and either re gift or donate to charity.

I think being the first birthday party I've organised and not been to a lot of others with my DD I was probably being a bit nieve in trying to reduce the amount of tat coming in to the house, but I'll just have to embrase it instead!!

i ended up with a big plastic box of opened presents in the top of my wardrobe after my dd’s 5th birthday party. She didn’t remember what was in there as she’d been quite overwhelmed with presents. Some I regifted and others I whipped out on a rainy day when tempers were frayed! It worked well 😊

Sensible? Yes. Should you do it? No!

I went to one and the mum said please don't feel you need to bring a gift, but a coin & card would be more than enough if you want to do so (suggesting sticking a quid in the card) and everyone gave a £5 or £10 so worked out quite well.

For the first one I'd probably do the same and keep my head down and say nothing. I wrapped a load one year and gave to to a present collection for a refuge (duplicates and things they just wouldn't use.)

And the amount of regifting is wild. I've had things bounce back too

You can help in reverse by doing tat-free party bags? For years we did books. Got a lot of cheap-but-new books from the Book People, and as each child left they got to choose one as their “party bag”. I don’t think of books as landfill tat! And all the parents seemed glad of them instead of all the plastic throw away stuff that usually goes in party bags.

I also went to a party once where the party bag was a compostable pot with a small eco bag of soil, a little packet of seeds, and jelly worms on top. That was adorable. The kids planted the seeds, and had fun eating the jelly worms!

You can't get vouchers for less than a fiver so essentially you're charging people five quid to attend your child's party

This. You could do a 'no gift' policy. Or could you ask everyone to gift a book? They don't take up much space and places like The Works have cheap books so parents don't have to spend more than a couple of quid if they are hard up.

Echoing PPs, just ask for no gifts, that way you'll still get some but not as many.

I think you'll either have to say no presents, or accept that some gifts won't be what you would choose.

Asking for vouchers isn't really in the spirit of a very young child's birthday party. Part of the fun for the birthday child is receiving gifts, no matter what they are!

The problem with cash or vouchers is that it has to be a significant amount and even £5 or £10 can be too much if you’re broke. But regifting something or getting something from a charity shop or sale is manageable. I would say no gifts. Or maybe just books - you can get really good value books.

I would think it rude if I received it on an invitation.
I also think it's unfair on your daughter. It's you who doesn't want gifts because you think she has too many toys. What 4 year old wants to open a pile of gift tokens? They will be meaningless to her. And when you come to spend them she won't associate them with gifts from her friends.
If you don't want loads of gifts, don't invite loads of people. Invite fewer friends and accept they will want to give a gift.
Have a clear old of some older toys before her birthday and take them to a charity shop.

1. A voucher is often more expensive than a present from say the works. What about parents that can't afford much but would like their children to go?
2. Children enjoy opening presents. Let your child have that pleasure.

I think vouchers would come across as grasping.

I get the idea, it obviously makes sense as a mother.

But I would be annoyed if I saw this on the invite. Same as when people getting married want money towards their honeymoon.

For me, I am just chuffed people want to come to my kids party. That's what its all about. Friends celebrating the birthday child. Plus, its the birthday kids big day. All kids love presents to open, how exciting for them.

I also hate people asking for charity donations as their kids presents. As if the kid really requested this. Nauseating.