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My 8 month old DS is driving us to insanity! Please tell me this is normal???

71 replies

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 16:31

I've posted with a similar issue before but the phase seemed to pass but for the last 2 weeks has come back with a VENGENCE!

My DS is NEVER happy or content.

We will get 1 minute here, 5 minutes there, usually when you distract him with walking around, singing, a bread stick/rusk snack, or the odd bit of screen time but cannot and will not remain content and happy without any sort of intervention.

It's a constant heerrr, heerrr sound when he's bored of playing with a toy he's had in his hand for literally 5 seconds until you distract him with something else. Which doesn't always work.

When you do something he likes, you'll get a big smile and a laugh, then his face screws up and instantly starts whinging.

If there's no distraction to stop him whinging, it will just escalate to a full-blown meltdown. This has happened a few times when out of the house, which is just horrible.

On top of this, he's suddenly become very irregular with his bottle feeding (maybe because he's now taking solids)? But a couple of times he's gone for hours refusing to take a bottle, so it's very hard to work out if he may be hungry or not.

I keep flipping from thinking he may be in pain somehow, to thinking it's just a phase/developmental thing and he just gets bored easily, to then sometimes really worrying it may be something more severe (ASD)???

He doesn't crawl, and in honesty is nowhere near it as he cannot stand 10 seconds of tummy time. We've given up thinking he will crawl, to just expecting him to go straight to walking as he constantly wants to be stood up.

I don't think he's teething. There's no inflammation in the gums, no excess drooling or flushed cheek. He still hasn't cut any teeth yet.

I am very tempted to go to A&E tomorrow to get some sort of professional assessment as this is just not a sustainable way to live. Although I fully expect to get fobbed off with 'he's just a baby, and babies whinge'.

Has anyone else had the same experience? Please tell me it got better!

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2023 16:37

Don't go to A and E. That isn't appropriate.
Speak to your Health visitor first.
I wonder if he has some sort of food intolerance? Is he weeing and pooing ok?

endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2023 16:38

Is he getting enough sleep?

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 16:43

endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2023 16:37

Don't go to A and E. That isn't appropriate.
Speak to your Health visitor first.
I wonder if he has some sort of food intolerance? Is he weeing and pooing ok?

Nothing that immediately seems concerning.

He's always been a bit irregular with pooing, if anything recently it's been more frequent, like once a day where as before it was once every other day.

Less weeing but it makes sense as he's having less fluid, although I have been giving him a small bit of water in intervals throughout the day cos of the heat.

OP posts:

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Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 16:45

endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2023 16:38

Is he getting enough sleep?

No less than usual. Is a good sleeper overnight. Sleeps through from 6/7pm to 5am.

Roughly an 1hr10 nap in the morning between 8 and 9am, and another nap around 2.30pm usually for 35mins

OP posts:
AmyAW · 08/09/2023 16:45

Our eight month old is the same. Really normal. Get the Wonder Weeks app and it'll no doubt show they are going through a period of development.

As two suggestions which helped us... we thought baby was bored of toys so swapped them at speed. In hindsight she was getting over stimulated and we were making it worse. Perhaps try focusing on play with just one thing and all other toys out of sight. I'd also stop the screen time- eight months is too young for screens and if she's over stimulated it'll make it much worse....

It will pass!

Mrsm010918 · 08/09/2023 16:46

a&e won't do anything for a bored whingy baby so I wouldn't go there unless he has a temperature. You'll have a long wait time to be told 'that's what babies do'

Have you felt round his gums to see if there are any teeth coming up? Sometimes it can take a while for them to start to appear and they can be whingy for a couple weeks before anything appears obvious

endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2023 16:47

Maybe he just wants to get moving. Maybe he will be a bottom shuffler, not a crawler!

LoveYouHoneybear · 08/09/2023 16:48

This sounds exactly like my 9 month old DD. She's been like this since 7.5 months. It's relentless! Also not very close to crawling, but wants to walk EVERYWHERE holding my hands. I'm exhausted as I also have a 2.5 yr old. Keep reminding myself that it too shall pass! Solidarity though. It's so rough.

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 16:51

AmyAW · 08/09/2023 16:45

Our eight month old is the same. Really normal. Get the Wonder Weeks app and it'll no doubt show they are going through a period of development.

As two suggestions which helped us... we thought baby was bored of toys so swapped them at speed. In hindsight she was getting over stimulated and we were making it worse. Perhaps try focusing on play with just one thing and all other toys out of sight. I'd also stop the screen time- eight months is too young for screens and if she's over stimulated it'll make it much worse....

It will pass!

I have the app and did note the start of the leap. He started a week before though but does line up.

I am a bit skeptical about that sort of thing though.

What makes it harder to deal with is all the other babies in my NCT group never seem to be so affected by these leaps.

He's the fussiest one out of all of them and always has been!

OP posts:
Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 16:53

Mrsm010918 · 08/09/2023 16:46

a&e won't do anything for a bored whingy baby so I wouldn't go there unless he has a temperature. You'll have a long wait time to be told 'that's what babies do'

Have you felt round his gums to see if there are any teeth coming up? Sometimes it can take a while for them to start to appear and they can be whingy for a couple weeks before anything appears obvious

Yes, doesn't appear to be anything.

OP posts:
Clefable · 08/09/2023 16:54

Well Wonder Weeks has been debunked so I would ignore that, but there is a lot of developmental stuff going on and it's common for babies to get frustrated at this age when their mobility or communication hasn't caught up to what they want to do. It's a bit of a trying age I think!

Lollyloup91 · 08/09/2023 16:55

Hi OP, just to say my son was the exact same and it drove me mad. I used to get really wound up with him to the point I'd nearly lose it, but then I'd remind myself he was just a baby.
I too found my NCT group didn't have babies who seemed just as impatient and discontented as mine. It does get better, but I found going to work helped. When DS was 11 months I went back doing 3 days a week. I'm glad I could do that.
DD is 3 months old and I'm hoping she's a bit more content 🤞

AmyAW · 08/09/2023 16:55

Sounds just like our baby. It can be very hard and make the days very long. I try and get out every single day even if it's just a trip to big Tesco and even if she's moaning through it. Have a plan for every wake window and the day goes a little quicker!

All babies sleep is different but to have 5.5 hours between naps also feels a bit long. 3 hours is probably more typical at that age. Would they take another nap at around 11am/12pm?

CauliflowerBlue · 08/09/2023 17:04

It sounds like he needs more naps during the day.

Our baby is the same age and needs 6 hours of naps (in 2 hour blocks) or is miserable. We still have to contact nap to meet this need.

TheGirlFromTomorrow · 08/09/2023 17:08

I agree with PP, he could be overstimulated.

It took me ages to work out that fussiness was usually tiredness. Maybe try one longer nap in the middle of the day?

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 17:14

CauliflowerBlue · 08/09/2023 17:04

It sounds like he needs more naps during the day.

Our baby is the same age and needs 6 hours of naps (in 2 hour blocks) or is miserable. We still have to contact nap to meet this need.

I would love for him to be able to have two 2 hour naps. That sounds amazing. But he will wake up after 35mins on the dot for his second nap and really fight to go down for anymore.

OP posts:
Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 17:18

Lollyloup91 · 08/09/2023 16:55

Hi OP, just to say my son was the exact same and it drove me mad. I used to get really wound up with him to the point I'd nearly lose it, but then I'd remind myself he was just a baby.
I too found my NCT group didn't have babies who seemed just as impatient and discontented as mine. It does get better, but I found going to work helped. When DS was 11 months I went back doing 3 days a week. I'm glad I could do that.
DD is 3 months old and I'm hoping she's a bit more content 🤞

hello! It’s tough isn’t it. I can’t wait to go back to work!

when did it pass for your LO? Did it just fizzle out?

OP posts:
cuckyplunt · 08/09/2023 17:19

Sounds a bit like my 18yo DD.

Rachealreid · 08/09/2023 17:22

Yepp my 2 year old is still like that. She was also a late crawler. She just whinges and moans constantly. I mentioned it to the hv and I got the she's just a baby baby's whinge. Now she's 2 she's still whinging and nothing has changed. I thought about a&e a few times but never took her. Unfortunately for me it's just got harder and parenthood isn't the enjoyable, rewarding thing it should be.

CauliflowerBlue · 08/09/2023 18:35

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 17:14

I would love for him to be able to have two 2 hour naps. That sounds amazing. But he will wake up after 35mins on the dot for his second nap and really fight to go down for anymore.

Have you tried contact naps? Ours is the same, 30 minute naps. Unless we contact nap. It is a bother but reduces the fussing.

Helpmeimtired · 08/09/2023 19:26

CauliflowerBlue · 08/09/2023 18:35

Have you tried contact naps? Ours is the same, 30 minute naps. Unless we contact nap. It is a bother but reduces the fussing.

He doesn’t seem tired though. When he’s fussing at least. It’s very obvious when he’s fussing due to tiredness because has such obvious queues and then he goes down for a nap.

OP posts:
Playdoughcaterpillar · 08/09/2023 19:46

Another one who thinks he might not be getting enough sleep here.

VivaVivaa · 08/09/2023 19:46

Sounds like my DS1. He wasn’t tired or teething or in a leap. He was just a miserable, clingy, demanding baby until he could walk and started understanding language/speaking back. Also despised tummy time and screamed with frustration about being so still but so unwilling to crawl (only crawled after he walked). Became a (demanding, albeit very happy) ray of sunshine at about 15 months. Some babies realise the limitations of their useless bodies early on and hate it. Go back to work part time would be my recommendation. I used to feel like the walls were closing in on me hearing him cry and whine all day.

Givemepickles · 08/09/2023 20:11

Going against the grain here but I don't think it's normal for a baby to be like the OP describes. Maybe for a week or two during teething not months relentlessly. What's he like when you give calpol? Could he be in pain?

Have you ruled out allergies? Did this whinging coincide with weaning? Could he be intolerant to something?

IWasFunBeforeMum · 08/09/2023 20:24

My son was like this, never seemed content. It didn't seem to ease until he started using words and moving.