My 8 month old DS is driving us to insanity! Please tell me this is normal???

[Helpmeimtired]

I've posted with a similar issue before but the phase seemed to pass but for the last 2 weeks has come back with a VENGENCE!

My DS is NEVER happy or content.

We will get 1 minute here, 5 minutes there, usually when you distract him with walking around, singing, a bread stick/rusk snack, or the odd bit of screen time but cannot and will not remain content and happy without any sort of intervention.

It's a constant heerrr, heerrr sound when he's bored of playing with a toy he's had in his hand for literally 5 seconds until you distract him with something else. Which doesn't always work.

When you do something he likes, you'll get a big smile and a laugh, then his face screws up and instantly starts whinging.

If there's no distraction to stop him whinging, it will just escalate to a full-blown meltdown. This has happened a few times when out of the house, which is just horrible.

On top of this, he's suddenly become very irregular with his bottle feeding (maybe because he's now taking solids)? But a couple of times he's gone for hours refusing to take a bottle, so it's very hard to work out if he may be hungry or not.

I keep flipping from thinking he may be in pain somehow, to thinking it's just a phase/developmental thing and he just gets bored easily, to then sometimes really worrying it may be something more severe (ASD)???

He doesn't crawl, and in honesty is nowhere near it as he cannot stand 10 seconds of tummy time. We've given up thinking he will crawl, to just expecting him to go straight to walking as he constantly wants to be stood up.

I don't think he's teething. There's no inflammation in the gums, no excess drooling or flushed cheek. He still hasn't cut any teeth yet.

I am very tempted to go to A&E tomorrow to get some sort of professional assessment as this is just not a sustainable way to live. Although I fully expect to get fobbed off with 'he's just a baby, and babies whinge'.

Has anyone else had the same experience? Please tell me it got better!

We’ve given him Neurofen a couple of times and made no difference at all.

We’d love to crack the early rising.

I don’t think we can put him down any earlier though. It’s between 6.30/7.30 depending on when he woke up from his last nap. It’s usually closer to 6.30 most days.

Why are you only offering small bits of water at intervals? Maybe try and offer water more regularly / make sure his cup is always very easily accessible for him - perhaps he's thirsty as he's having less bottles?

Nurofen is an absolute no no - Ibuprofen is well known to aggravate stomach issues and should never be used for anybody with GERD or reflux without careful consideration of risk vs benefit (under medical supervision).

Try the paracetemol/Calpol, dosage per instructions for one day.

I wouldn’t give ibuprofen unless you have no other choice. It burns going down and leaves a horrid feeling in the tummy. Try calpol see if that helps.

It’s only been a handful of times in the past few weeks so I don’t think that would be the main cause here but that’s good to know. Thank you.

Sounds like a tired baby to me, sleep is such a tricky one to crack. Have you tried capping the morning nap to 30/45 minutes and building more sleep pressure for the lunch nap?

Slightly bizarre suggestion but it worked for a friend of mine - have you thought of teaching him baby sign language? If he’s just frustrated that he can’t communicate, being able to tell you what he wants might help?

He’s apparently the right age for it.

This sounds like my son. He was a fucking miserable baby, he genuinely hated being a baby. The only time he would smile or laugh was for his big sister who had no interest in making him smile. As soon as he started moving he completely changed. He has been unstoppable ever since. On the move constantly. I think he was just frustrated. Was always worse around a growth spurt too.

Is he starting to babble yet? I had EXACTLY the same with our baby, who's now just turned a year. It was a constant noise exactly as you describe, and I also was driven to despair. Felt like nothing I did was good enough and started to get really down.

My husband tried to reassure me, and said as soon as he finds his voice, it'll stop.

Well blow me down he was right 😂 hang in there... Maybe it's the same for your LO?

No babbling in a sense of baba, dada, gaga, but he does ‘talk’ for want of a better term.

I think he’s on the cusp of it though as he’s starting to make different sounds than normal.

oh and the constant hmmm hmmm sound is the worst thing about all of this (providing he’s healthy and not in pain at all). It drives me up the wall! I hear it in my sleep!

Has it?! I'm so glad to hear that! One of my NCT group raved about it, but I gave it some attention and concluded that it was a load of crap! I thought it was just me!

I just feel so grateful I forget all of that stage.

Hi OP, my son was a little like this and it turned out to be severe reflux. It ramped up when weaning and that’s when he was very unhappy. He needed omeprazole until he was 13 months. Could it be something like that?

I found walks outside stopped the fussing as the fresh air seemed to distract him from the discomfort.

Also agree with previous posters about the naps. Adjusting the time and lengths could help quite a lot. I spoke to a sleep consultant who explained that the 5am wake ups often happen when babies have a long nap in the morning, as they know they can catch up on sleep relatively soon after waking. We limited the morning nap to 20, max 30 minutes, at 9.30am / 10am ish, which meant he then did 1pm-3pm nap in the afternoons.

Have followed this for younger DC and they’ve slept 7-7 from much younger ages than our eldest.

Raw dairy makes ds2 the devils spawn. He gets ANGRY. His nappies change drastically too so it must make his tummy uncomfortable but, goodness me, the anger is something else.

We've cut out milk, cheese, yogs, ice cream etc - he has oat milk and LF alternatives.

He can cope with dairy cooked in meals but not their raw versions!!

I could have written this about our 9 month old. From the day he was born he was miserable.

He was eventually diagnosed with CMPA and given Neocate which completely took care of all of his symptoms except reflux (ongoing - max dose of omeprazole).

But even though he doesn't do the pained cry anymore he does the whinging you're talking about constantly.

The last couple of days have been particularly bad but I think that is teething so I am hoping it improves soon.

I found he became a little happier once able to crawl/cruise but he's still pretty angry. He's desperate to walk so once he cracks that I'm hoping it will make a big difference.

He sleeps through the night from around 11pm to 8am but he naps terribly so I do wonder if he needs more sleep.

I am finding it hard. The whinging sound really gets to me in such a big way. I feel like I'm not able to enjoy him properly. I love him so so much but I find it so tiring. Everyone says whinging is what babies do but when I see other babies they are so much happier.

Sorry I don't have advice. Only solidarity.

When ds was that age I realised I needed to pay more attention to his wake windows, sometimes he'd get cranky and it was because he wasn't sleeping enough or at the right times for him. I would say, he's cut two teeth now and he's never had the usual symptoms of flushed teeth/bowel issues/, overly drooly etc just really keen to chew things so it could be that he's uncomfortable. When ds is like that I give him long thick carrot sticks to chew/ the teething rings that go in the fridge and sometimes calpol or teething gel if I think he needs it. The gurney noise and just being difficult to settle are the only ways I know he's teething. I'd think about how much time your ds gets for free movement. Ds hated tummy time but it doesn't need to be in one go, I just did it every day on and off until we built up the right amount of time, so 5 minutes here and there a number of times a day. We used sensory pouches and he liked watching things that moved or rolled when he was on his tummy. The stronger he got the better he tolerated it. A sling is great for cuddly babies and I found that around 8 months ds seemed to notice that I could leave him and he'd get very very upset when set down or if I went to the far side of the room so I wore him a bit more, did skin to skin a bit more and we did lots of peekaboo and hiding around doors and corners to help him learn that I'll come back and out of sight doesn't mean I'm not there. It's a tough age they are learning and developing loads so if you're worried ask your hv for a visit. You should get a 6-9mth check in anyway.

Are you able to fit in some long regular walks. If he isn’t sleeping this can help I find. Lots of fresh air and movement. Stick on a podcast and walk. He might sleep, used to DD a long time but I often stayed out for 90 minutes/2 hours. Same time so he knows he can switch off then.

"How much has it improved from 8-9 months compared to now"

Before it would be weeks upon weeks pretty much from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep. Now it might be a week on, week off and the "hmm hmm" noise does have babble in between so it doesn't grate quite so much on your ears.

My ds has CMPA so I've obviously cut out all milk from his diet but it's not helped. I find if he's being held he barely does it at all and he also likes playing with his tonie box - I get a good 20 mins peace from that!

Mine was exactly the same.

For the first 4-6 weeks he was a dream and I thought I had it all figured out.....haha.

Then he was just bloody hard work, miserable, frustrated, whinging, crying, bad sleeper, seemed to want constant interaction etc.

It got marginally better once he could walk, around 15 months and again at around 18 months - he was a very early talker.

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with him, he's just hard work. Sorry. It will get better

Could he be hungry?

Mine was ravenous at that age, everyone says food under one is just for fun - not for mine it wasn't!

He won't be getting much nutrition from porridge. What's the rest of his diet like?

It's an annoying stage between 6mo and crawling as they are extremely agitated by all the things they can't do!