Your children's little 'slips of the tongue' which are rude/make you laugh

[schneebly]

DS2's current ones are 'cockporn' - a common one I am sure and this morning I asked him where something was and he said "in the rimming room!"

We have the titty room (utility room) and when DD2 says she can't do something instead of sounding like "oh can't" it really sounds like "oh c*nt"!

lol @ titty room and rimming room! Pmsl @ c*nt!

DD can't say her "l"s yet and is very fond of pointing out clocks when we're out and about.

Yesterday ds was talking about treasure hunts, but keep insisting it was a treasure cunt. We were outside at the time, and he got very insistant, shouting the the last word. "No Mummy, it's a treasure CUNT". A little old lady with a little old dog looked shocked and appalled (the dog looked superior).

My nephew used to have trouble saying "exercise" and always said "sexercise" - sometimes in front of older relatives.

DS in car with strict granny the other day when she had to stop suddenly, little voice from back of car pipes up 'Fuck Sake'

DD1 said "how long is Daddy" meaning "how old is Daddy" - in front of the Pensions man !

DD2 says 'achey cocks' for apricots

lol and rofl @ achey cocks!

LOL at all of these! I wish i'd done more pelvic floor exercises!

ds1 went through a phase of pointing out sticks/twigs on the pavement that dogs might pick up but couldn't say "stick" very well so proclaimed loudly each time "look mummy, doggy dick"

My DDs funnies are she says 'badger' for badge, because she somewhat confusingly was given a badger badge.

She also says diarheoa for diary.

My 6 yr old nephew went through a phase of starting every word with a particular letter, like "Lello, low lare lou?" - We were visiting my elderly aunt, who had given him a wagon wheel, to which he yelled "WAAANK YOU!" and because we all reacted, chanted it over and over until we left (aunt sat there with a cats arse mouth while we all shook with silent laughter)

DS sometimes used to get confused, when looking at some or other crappy farmyard book, between 'frog' and 'duck'. WIth predictable funny result. In front of my mother

My nephew used to sound like he was saying "Fuck-you" when he said "Thank-you". I'd give him something and he'd say politely "Fuck-you auntie Liath" then wonder why I was laughing!

Am PMSL at this thread!

Very good

ds has toy a triceratops which he calls his telly tots,
He says cock for clock and grandad taught him arse, so whenever he drops things, I hear ARSE at the top of his voice.

my newphew would tell everyone on the bus that his mummy doesn't have a winky coz shes a mummy and has boobies!

Dd1 used to refer to Pocahontas as 'Poke a Cuntus'! Unfortunately it was her favourite film for a while, so was asked for regularly - we were so pleased when she transferred her affections to Finding Nemo!

My dd2 (aged 2) will often tell people that she likes to 'fuck (suck) her fum'

Ds's new word is buggered! Means cupboard

Dd used to say her favourite Beatrix Potter character was 'Vagina Puddleduck'.

DS used to call Kylie Minogue 'come-in-an-oak'.

And, so he told me, "Daddy went to the DIY shop, but it was just shutting when we got there, so Daddy said oh bucket"

my BIL is called Wayne and my DT's went through a car obsessional phase, so when Wayne turned up in his car the phrase WAYNES CAR was born - said in toddler speak "waynecar" shouted very loudly while randomly pointing across the street.

Luckily they now say "thats like uncle waynes car mummy" - breathes sigh of relief.

In Ikea on sunday, DT2 was muttering something while i was browsing lampshades so I says "speak up darlin, mummy can't hear you", "FUCKIN LIGHTING mummy"....he'd heard a passing 'gentleman' say it to his wife, i was mortified.