Your children's little 'slips of the tongue' which are rude/make you laugh

[schneebly]

DS2's current ones are 'cockporn' - a common one I am sure and this morning I asked him where something was and he said "in the rimming room!"

Dt2(aged 4) thought a certain game was called Fuckaroo. (Although I think dd1(12) may have had something to do with that )

dd likes strawberry short cake but gets confused between cocktail and short cake so she calls her strawberry cockshake

My dd2 age 3 asked me what a little prick was? Oh the temptation

DD1 doesn't have many rude ones. She's only 4.

But I love how she refers to her toenails as 'feetnails'.

DD says 'wanky' instead of 'wonky'. Example, 'mummy my writing has gone all wanky'.

A friend of mine's dd drinks blackCUNT juice!

Mine don't say anything wrong, but they DO say things out of context- eg dd1 to the butcher, apropos of nothing "When I was little, my mummy fed me from her nipples!" And a pound of sausages, please...
And dd2 is obsessed with willies at the moment, as we have a new baby boy. She said in a cafe the other week, after changing him, " Mum baby Tom has a little willie, doesn't he?"
"That's right, darling, he does!", smiling at old ladies smiling on.
"But daddy has a GREAT BIG WILLIE, doesn't he mummy!"
Bill, please, waitress!

friend told her dd that 'daddy went outside to have a mucky fag.'

her dd version was 'daddy went outside to have a fucky mag.'

Dd1 had trouble with that one too Snorris and was begging me "make it fck Mummy, make it fck'.....

Message withdrawn

DS (when we were having a new carpet, and the Gripparods were exposed): "Mummy, beware of the pricks on the stairs".

spaghetti "bollock"naise. ds (4) cannot be persuaded otherwise. Still, at least he can say "l" ok now so we no longer have to agree to requests to "go to town to see the big cock" on a regular basis.

bumping this cos it is funny

Dd's favourite game at the moment is 'bummin'. "Play bummin Mummy? Mummy?! Lie down! Play bummin?"

She means 'bunnies'.

this thread is hilarious!

lol @ 'lets play bummin'

i've got a cock one. ds1 had 2 stuffed birds from birdworld, a blackbird and a cockatoo which were inseparable. Out shopping, in Croydon, I gave him the blackbird as I had left the other one in the car but he wanted both so he started screaming at the top of his voice, "black bird want cock, black birds need cock".

lolololololol!!!

My DS picked up 'bollocks' and said 'oh bollocks' all the time (in context, which i was impressed about secretly)

My Dad was not impressed at all, and after much brainwashing he says 'conkers' now (it took ages of saying conkers and rolling on the floor laughing hysterically)

I love the way his mind works to make up his own words though- His dungarees are 'apron trousers' etc

DD (10!!) asked if I had seen the Blue Twits on the birdfeeder .

ds said 'oh fuckings sake' once.... turns out he was trying to say 'for goodness sake'

Me and ds have just spent a £5.00 gift voucher in W 8 Piss today!

Dd says cockporn too.

Heard "Give it up" by KC and the sunshine band on the radio recently

Cue dd prancing about the house for the rest of the day bawling "Get it up, baby, get it up"

DS came home from a stay at his grandparents recently and announced they had been to Fucky fried chicken

Not really a slip of the tongue but dd (aged 5) said to DH "Daddy I can see your love hose" . I'm not entirely sure where she got that from.........