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Original poster

Child cannot focus on school work

77 replies

herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 14:40

DS who is 14 just cannot get started on any school work task. It is absolutely infuriating.

He will sit there for ages, staring at a blank page or out the window, looking up stuff on his ipad (can't take it away as he needs it for the work), getting something to eat or drink, playing with the cat etc.

I've tried being kind and asking if he needs help.

I've tried being really harsh and raising my voice and imposing punishments.

I've tried rewards.

Nothing helps.

For context, he is diagnosed ASD and is currently not attending the school building due to overwhelm and anxiety. This is work he has been sent home. He has no issue with the level of work, it's at his level. He cannot explain what it is that is stopping him. Once he gets started he can get a bit done but can't work for long.

He has been assessed for ADHD and they did not give a diagnosis.

Has anyone come across this before and do you have any tips on what I can do to help?

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:15

EmiliaRuusuvuori · 05/09/2023 15:00

Has he also been assessed for dyspraxia ?
That can cause a short attention span and they struggle to focus on the task

Oh yes sorry I should have said in my OP, he is also dyspraxic.

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:16

@Sidslaw Not even going to engage with you. Please don't post anything else.

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 05/09/2023 15:16

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2023 14:55

Would a walking pad help? He could put some faint music on, set the walking pad away and walk. Then while walking can consider his thoughts about whatever he has been asked to do. Once he has burned a bit of energy and distracted his limbs enough then he can choose to sit and write (or have the paper on a higher counter nearby).

Sometimes if I'm feeling a bit distracted with work ill take the laptop to a high counter and just being mobile kind of helps keep me more engaged on the task.

Totally agree with this.

I am self employed and can have days when I struggle with focus. I always find moving to a standing or high counter helps. Seems to satisfy the need for my body/brain to be doing something other than the (often seemingly overwhelming) task ahead.

Also teach him the Pomodoro technique and how to break a big job into smaller manageable tasks, introducing rewards between each task.

Also setting himself mini deadlines might help.

People blame the doom scroll or falling down a web black hole but honestly I could do the same amount of procrastinating at school in the 90s before broadband or smartphones. It's about managing your brain, not the resources in front of you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting SEN
Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:16

OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:14

If that’s true, you need retraining and educating, fast.

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nonsense, the worst thing you can do is go excusing totally unrelated behaviour because a child has SEND. He can start his work, if he struggles completing it, that is something totally different. He can start though, and if he refuses, and that is excused as a "SEND" you are doing him a major disservice

Do you honestly think children don't refuse to work if they can get away with it?

LIZS · 05/09/2023 15:17

It might be worth asking LA about learning support or have a tutor who could work through the subjects with him to devise strategies he can follow. ND children often do not know how or where to begin and nor can they articulate the issue well. If presented with a blank page they may not know where to start writing or drawing so as to fit the page, for example,

RafaistheKingofClay · 05/09/2023 15:18

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:11

Yes I do, I am a senco, and I recognise when someone is twirling their mother around their little finger.

Show quote history

You’ll also be aware this is common with lots of SEN for a variety of reasons.

Either way, do you have any practical advice for the OP whether that’s to do with ‘not letting him get away with it’ or finding the solution to an underlying issue?

If he’s got issues with being overwhelmed and anxiety do you think that’s got anything to do with it. It’s possible that the small steps need to be much smaller than you’d expect.

OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:19

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:16

nonsense, the worst thing you can do is go excusing totally unrelated behaviour because a child has SEND. He can start his work, if he struggles completing it, that is something totally different. He can start though, and if he refuses, and that is excused as a "SEND" you are doing him a major disservice

Do you honestly think children don't refuse to work if they can get away with it?

Show quote history

It is not nonsense. It is not totally unrelated to OP’s DS’s SEN. It is clear there is far more going on than OP’s DS choosing to refuse to work. If you can’t see that as a SENCO then yes you do need retaining and further education.

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:19

RafaistheKingofClay · 05/09/2023 15:18

You’ll also be aware this is common with lots of SEN for a variety of reasons.

Either way, do you have any practical advice for the OP whether that’s to do with ‘not letting him get away with it’ or finding the solution to an underlying issue?

If he’s got issues with being overwhelmed and anxiety do you think that’s got anything to do with it. It’s possible that the small steps need to be much smaller than you’d expect.

Show quote history

just tell him what you want him to do first, and expect him to do it, Then tell him what you want him to do second, and expect him to do it, and keep going until the piece of work is done

Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:20

OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:11

I second an EHCP if DS doesn’t already have one. If he does you need an early review. Has DS had Ed Psych, OT and SALT input? Has he tried assistive technology &/or a scribe? Have a look at executive functioning difficulties.

Why isn’t DS attending school? How long has that been the case? (Not asking to be nosey, if it is an ongoing issue DS is entitled to more than work sent home).

Hi, thanks for replying.
Probably crossposted but no EHCP as in Scotland. No Ed Psych involvement as they don't get involved with individuals up here. Currently having OT sessions, not had any SALT involvement ever.

He's not been in the school building for about a year. Really severe anxiety around being there that was gradually getting worse and worse for 3 years before stopping going altogether.

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:21

"Yes I do, I am a senco, and I recognise when someone is twirling their mother around their little finger."

FUCKING hell. No he is not. He's been shaking and crying this afternoon in exasperation.

I truly pity the students at your school.

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:22

Singleandproud · 05/09/2023 15:11

His behaviour is super common with students with ASD.

As others have said the work needs chunking more and then some additional scaffolding like sentence starters to help get things flowing. I encourage my DD to go through the text first and highlight any words she doesn't know and to look them up in a dictionary first - it doesn't require any real brain power but gets her started and is useful when learning key vicab. If he knows all the words, get him to highlight all the nouns/adjectives etc the aim is to get the work started and break the initial ice.
Another problem can be fear if making mistakes so get him a mini whiteboard to try his answers out on first.
Another technique would be to get a large white board and different coloured board pens so that he can write standing up - he can then take a photo of his work and upload it into his document.

Where does he work? It's also very common for children with ASD to struggle to do school work at home so if you can dedicate a separate space / even decorate a shed or go to the library so it feels like a work area then this can help.

Edited

All very helpful thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:23

@YukoandHiro I'm on the app so can't quote you but that all sounds very helpful, thank you.

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:26

If DS can’t attend school due to anxiety/his SEN the education authority should be providing provision. Enquire can help you with this - they have information on their website and a helpful.

Pupils in Scotland can be assessed by an EP. Parents often have to fight for it though. Enquire can support with this too.

Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:26

"just tell him what you want him to do first, and expect him to do it, Then tell him what you want him to do second, and expect him to do it, and keep going until the piece of work is done"

OMG. Do you not think this is the first thing I would have done?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2023 15:35

OP a walking pad is like a less bulky treadmill, no arms coming up or display etc, just goes fast enough to walk on, rather than run. Can be tucked away easily.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2023 15:37

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:19

just tell him what you want him to do first, and expect him to do it, Then tell him what you want him to do second, and expect him to do it, and keep going until the piece of work is done

Show quote history

Have you been doing stand up comedy for long?

Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:42

OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:26

If DS can’t attend school due to anxiety/his SEN the education authority should be providing provision. Enquire can help you with this - they have information on their website and a helpful.

Pupils in Scotland can be assessed by an EP. Parents often have to fight for it though. Enquire can support with this too.

The provision they are providing is English and Maths sent to his ipad. They tried to provide an outreach service at a community centre but it was a sensory nightmare for him.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 05/09/2023 15:43

Do you have any parent carer groups locally that could help point you in the right direction for how to get the best support package in place? Knowing which doors to keep knocking at until something is done is already useful as sadly it often takes a lot of shouting.

are you in a position to pay for an Ed psych assessment? You shouldn’t have to but it may be useful to get things sorted.

OvertakenByLego · 05/09/2023 15:48

What about home tuition, tuition online (either live or recorded lessons), or tuition somewhere else that is else overwhelming from a sensory PoV? Or even if work set, what about different subjects including whatever DS’s interest are. Does DS like gaming? If so, look at MindJam.

BTW tuition doesn’t have to be traditional academic tuition. It could be gaming, art, cooking, sports etc.

Needmorelego · 05/09/2023 15:50

@Sidslaw I really really hope you are NOT a senco.
You should be fired if you are.

HellonHeels · 05/09/2023 15:51

herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:08

Not very

Show quote history

My only qualification for commenting is that I've very recently had an ADHD diagnosis (in my fifties).

His behaviour sounds exactly like mine in my school days and even now on a less-good day at work. Can you seek a second assessment/opinion for him?

Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:51

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2023 15:35

OP a walking pad is like a less bulky treadmill, no arms coming up or display etc, just goes fast enough to walk on, rather than run. Can be tucked away easily.

Ooh sounds great - thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:55

Sirzy · 05/09/2023 15:43

Do you have any parent carer groups locally that could help point you in the right direction for how to get the best support package in place? Knowing which doors to keep knocking at until something is done is already useful as sadly it often takes a lot of shouting.

are you in a position to pay for an Ed psych assessment? You shouldn’t have to but it may be useful to get things sorted.

Yes I am and also some advocacy services. I keep being advised that I need to have a child planning meeting. But we do have these regularly and nothing ever seems to change.
The issue is that they only want to get him back into school, but he cannot handle the environment of mainstream. There are no places in specialist schools (which he is too academic for anyway) and there's nowhere else for him to go.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2023 15:55

Have you googled Task Paralysis? It could be that. Apparently it's common in those with ADHD.

Original poster
herringboneparquet · 05/09/2023 15:56

Sirzy · 05/09/2023 15:43

Do you have any parent carer groups locally that could help point you in the right direction for how to get the best support package in place? Knowing which doors to keep knocking at until something is done is already useful as sadly it often takes a lot of shouting.

are you in a position to pay for an Ed psych assessment? You shouldn’t have to but it may be useful to get things sorted.

Could possibly pay for Ed psych assessment depending on cost. Will look into it. Thanks for the suggestion.

OP posts:
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