Tea in a babies bottle, and giving a 6m old bourbon biscuits.......would you say anything?

[LittleMissBliss]

I go to a young mums group, i'm am the oldest being 21 (so not really allowed to go)
but am a trained bosom buddy.
So my role is just to encourage younger mums to bf and set an example etc.

Anyway one of the mums that goes to the group previously mentioned how her ds (5 months at the time) likes tea! I gave her a WTF look and she went on to explain how he had put his dummy in her cup of tea and liked it. So now she gives him some in his bottle . To be honest i can't see why a baby would like tea and i'm sure it was most probably the milk and sugar taste he liked.

Then last week i was at the group which was pretty unusually quiet only me, her another young mum and midwife. We were all munching on biscuits and tea. She decided it would be a good idea to give her ds a bourbon biscuit.
Much to her amusement as he got covered in chocolate. The MW laughed along and said that 'she wasn't looking!' But mention if the HV (who's normally there) saw shw wouldn't be impressed. All i could muster was 'aren't you worried by his teeth' but secretly thinking WTF i would never even consider giving my ds a biscuit. Anways she just laughed and said 'No, not really'
And went on to say she only gives him chocolate buttons every few weeks (as if it's ok).....[hhm] WHY?

She asked the MW when she had weened her ds, and she said 4 months (even though this was before guidlines changed but didn't think to metion this to the girls) So i chiped in saying that i was waiting till 6m and doing BLW.

Later on we were in another room, she said to me 'Your doing every thing by the book, because you did your bosom buddies course', like I was a bit odd to do it.
I just replied 'yes'.

But my point is even if i hadn't done the course i know its stupid to give a baby a chocolate biscuit! It doesn't need it, or want it. It has no nutritional value and contains loads of sugar. I think this is more a lack of education and common sense issue rather than age.

Would you say anything? Or should i stop getting my knickers in a twist as it's none of my business.

*weaned

I think you should stop getting your knickers in a twist about the biscuit. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's not the very very best thing to give a baby and neither is it the very very worst. I gave ds1 a bourbon biscuit at 8 months old. It wasn't a stupid thing to do. He enjoyed it very much and I got a fantastic photo of it. It wasn't nutritionally fabulous, but never mind, the rest of his diet was good.

RE the tea in a bottle - the problem is, she isn't going to listen to a word you say. She has already decided not to do everything by the book and has cottoned on that you don't agree with her - anything you say will be dismissed because she knows her opinions differ from yours.

The health visitor is not going to concern herself over a baby having some tea and a biscuit and chocolate occasionally. She has to deal with abusive parents, neglectful parents, parents who don't realise that when a baby has pooed it's important to change the nappy - she's not going to get her knickers in a twist about a happy baby having a biscuit.

I came down one morning to find my mum giving DD tea in her bottle. I was a little surprised but decided to bite my tongue, and since I caught her doing it I have heard of others who do. Bizarre. Totally agree about the biscuit though, 5 months is way to young for such highly processed things.

Baby was 6 month at the time of BiscuitGate.

My DD has rooibos (redbush tea)in a bottle.

We struggle with her milk intake, so a milky tea is a great way of increasing her milk intake. She doesn't like formula milk but likes the taste of rooibos (it's naturally sweet).

I don't add any sugar and rooibos is caffeine free and perfectly suitable for babies.

Why don't you suggest that she gives her baby this type of tea (available at Sainsburys'/Tescos)

I happen to think that biscuits are nutritionally similar to rusks, which are still a mainstay of many weaning plans.

[boak]

Tea isn't recommended as it can prevent iron absorbtion so not a good thing to give to a baby. I wouldn't stress about the biscuit too much, there's worse things a baby could be given TBH.

DD has been having rooibos since 5 months old and has the odd biscuit (from about 7 months old).

I think you are being a tad melodramatic about this. I do, however share your views on tea in a bottle.... it's FULL of caffeine for christsake.... does her child sleep?

Anyway, unfortunately you can't change any of this despite your comments..... and all you can do is continue to support the girls and also raise your baby fabulously.

You will come across lots of situations like this. My friend gave her ds COCA COLA in his bottle from 6 months old, claiming her GP has advised her to do it. RRRRRRUBBISH!
Lots of tongue biting over cups of coffee I assure you.

must change posting name back

None of your business to be honest and you will come across as patronising if you say anything I think.

The tea may be incredibly weak and be more 'flavoured' milk at any rate - loads of Mums round here did this when theirs were little - I didn't because I thought it was ridiculous but I try not to judge anyone.

A bourbon biscuit is not going to do him any lasting damage as long as his teeth get cleaned and the rest of his diet is healthy. I think the whole baby feeding thing is becoming rather too militant for my liking.

I agree with everything colditz has said.

Yeah i guess so, it just seems odd to me to give a baby a biscuit when there's loads of better things he could be eating.

Just seems like encouraging bad eating habbits. But then i'm going to be the mean mummy at school who only lets her dcs have sweets once a week and makes them really helathy packed lunches.

Look, if she's a teen mum I imagine she is struggling along with far more important things than this.
It is not even remotely something you should be getting all bothered about, let alone considering saying something to her.
Leave her be, you'll probably cringe at how textbook you're being about this when your baby is a bit older.

Aren't rusks made for babies in mind bourbons not! right i'm off i think i may be to highly strung and it really does have nothing to do with me. So I wont say anything. Just sit smuggly in the corner at group with my super healthy ds!

Aren't rusks made for babies in mind bourbons not! right i'm off i think i may be to highly strung and it really does have nothing to do with me. So I wont say anything. Just sit smuggly in the corner at group with my super healthy ds!

think youre being a tad over the top here. I gave ds vvvv weak tea (literally waved the teabag at the milk) at about 9mo, and he has had biscuits (admitedly not chocolate ones, but still the odd chocolate treat) from about 6mo.

I am not a bad mother (although am aware that im not the best, after all, if i were then i wouldnt be on mn while my 3yo ds amuses himself with his trains) and i dont think that i have done anything wrong. yes, you can monitor everything they eat. yes, you can read all the labels and analyse all the ingredients, but at the end of the day children like sweet foods and everything in moderation isnt a bad motto to live by!

LittleMissBliss - Rusks are still pretty sugary though, they are made in a way that means they kind of melt to mush.... so good for weaning, rather than being nutritious!

I would say don;t fret.......she isn't harming her baby (well, some here would say that a biscuit DOES do harm), but in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn;t!

the tea would worry me, not least because of the way it prevents iron absorbtion. in the US (going on a friends quote here, so in no way reliable....), tea and coffee are banned for the under 15's!!!! (one, caffiene, and two, the iron issue)

I have a friend who reguelarly gives all her 4 tea, and from a bottle age too (well, 4mths in her eldest), and she is my age. her kiddies have been diagnosed anaemic, she was advised to stop the tea, but won't as they need "tea and biscuits in the morning to wake them up"......

now that is someone who I would class as putting her needs before her children, but it is her life and her choice and I hate to say, something she needs to learn herself.
on all other scores she is a fantastic mum, so tea and biscuits.........gotta let it go IMO.

I will add herer tho........mine have never ever had tea in their lives, nor coffee. one reason being that I connot stand tea myself, so obviouusly won;t make them any, and as for coffee.......TIS MINE I SAY............ALL MINE!
Two of mine have also been anaemic, and needed supplements, and they are offered a good diet too.....unfortunately they are also my allergic ones and however much I offer, I cannot force them to eat (which they often don;t), so of course, their diets aren't as great as they would need them to be!!!

really get stressed voer tea and biscuits?

the only thing its making me, is hankering for a cup of tea and some biscuits as well.

LMB - you sound like you are a great Mum for your little boy.

Although I am sure you are being textbook as JV says with your own life and that's great for you - it doesn't suit everyone and so sometimes it's better to sit it out.

Remember 'your baby, your way' and as long as the baby in question is happy, healthy, growing and loved then it's not your place to interfere. Any support workers or bosom buddies etc. are there to give support and advice when asked, not to preach/ enforce their ways and opinions on others

I think it's great that you are doing a fab job with your ds though

I didn't realise lots of mums did it! Just found it odd. I din't think it was harming her child but thought that maybe it was because nobody had actually given her advice on weaning may be the problem. But like i said i wont say anything as it really doesn't have anything to do with me.

the tea is ridiculousany caffeine os too much
but the biscuit thing
chill out

Thankyou! I would never force my views on people and only advise when asked. Thats why i didn't say anything negative at the time as it wasn't my place. Now i know its quite standard to do this it wont play on my mind.