Tea in a babies bottle, and giving a 6m old bourbon biscuits.......would you say anything?

[LittleMissBliss]

I go to a young mums group, i'm am the oldest being 21 (so not really allowed to go)
but am a trained bosom buddy.
So my role is just to encourage younger mums to bf and set an example etc.

Anyway one of the mums that goes to the group previously mentioned how her ds (5 months at the time) likes tea! I gave her a WTF look and she went on to explain how he had put his dummy in her cup of tea and liked it. So now she gives him some in his bottle . To be honest i can't see why a baby would like tea and i'm sure it was most probably the milk and sugar taste he liked.

Then last week i was at the group which was pretty unusually quiet only me, her another young mum and midwife. We were all munching on biscuits and tea. She decided it would be a good idea to give her ds a bourbon biscuit.
Much to her amusement as he got covered in chocolate. The MW laughed along and said that 'she wasn't looking!' But mention if the HV (who's normally there) saw shw wouldn't be impressed. All i could muster was 'aren't you worried by his teeth' but secretly thinking WTF i would never even consider giving my ds a biscuit. Anways she just laughed and said 'No, not really'
And went on to say she only gives him chocolate buttons every few weeks (as if it's ok).....[hhm] WHY?

She asked the MW when she had weened her ds, and she said 4 months (even though this was before guidlines changed but didn't think to metion this to the girls) So i chiped in saying that i was waiting till 6m and doing BLW.

Later on we were in another room, she said to me 'Your doing every thing by the book, because you did your bosom buddies course', like I was a bit odd to do it.
I just replied 'yes'.

But my point is even if i hadn't done the course i know its stupid to give a baby a chocolate biscuit! It doesn't need it, or want it. It has no nutritional value and contains loads of sugar. I think this is more a lack of education and common sense issue rather than age.

Would you say anything? Or should i stop getting my knickers in a twist as it's none of my business.

As long as that isn't all the baby is getting - ie the only drink she gets is tea.... if the only drink she gets is tea I'd have to say something simply because she'd be missing the formula or breastmnilk she should be having instead - but 'baby tea' is usually tea flavoured milk anyway. My 4 year old and toddler have 'baby tea - one third watery tea, 2 thirds full fat milk. The toddler won't drink 'straight' milk and until I stopped trying to make him have it straight (as his brother always did) he had none!

It is hard to stand aside and watch someone do something you consider a very bad idea though.

RE the rusk thing - many many things that are marketed for babies are grossly unhealthy for them. They really are just very easily dissolved biscuits.

Ingredients are

Wheat Flour
Sugar
Vegetable Oil
Calcium Carbonate
Emulsifier (Glyceryl Monostearate)
Niacin (Vit B3)
iRON
Thiamin (Vit B1)
Riboflavin (Vit B2)
Vitamin D

The added vits are not NEEDED, they are there to make the ingredient list look better!

I agree with Colditz, my DS had 'tea' which was basically a bottle full of milk with a half spoon of sugar and the teabag waved slightly in it after we stopped bfing because he wouldn't drink milk, he didn't like it, but he loved his tea, He's now three and fine.

As for choc biscuits, a baby of six months probably eats about a tenth of a bourbon and that's the bit that melts in their mouth whilst they suck it.

I've taken many a friends baby at birthday parties and found chocolate fingers to give to them (always saying 'right then little one lets go find some chocolate' before I do so mum can say no!). It really isn't anything to worry about. As Colditz says rusks are pretty crap tbh!

I'm with you Littlemissbliss, this totally horrifies me, I have a 5m DS. Wouldnt say anything though, people parent differently. Would bite my tongue and feel happy with the choices I'm making for my DS.

It never ever occured to me to give dd tea! I mean it's not as if they ask for it, do they????

One of my colleagues was given tea in a sippy cup at 5 months because her Dad couldn't bear the sight of tea in a bottle! Funny thing is, the same girl won't touch tea or coffee now at all!
I do find myself biting my tongue a lot around some other mothers who give their children things that I wouldn't dream of giving mine. But I do hope they will give me the same respect. If people tell me I do things "by the book" I say, "No, I do things nature's way!"

FIL told me it was easy to spot top civil servants in meetings because they could reach out over a plate of biscuits without appearing to look, and pick out the bourbon every time. Maybe the young mums have ambitions for their tots to become senior civil servants? Nothing wrong with that

I've come across plenty of older and well educated mothers who have done much the same. An occasional biscuit is not going to do much harm. If you do baby led weaning and ever hang around places with plates of biscuits, isn't there a chance your child will pick one up?

So, no, I wouldn't say anything.

I agree with Colditz. I bet all the people saying how horrific it is to feed a baby a biscuit quite happily give them rusks etc.

Aren't there better things to get worked up about?

LOL Hallgerda!

All of my dd's have eaten biscuits once they can co ordinate their hands to feed themselves.

I know people who give their dogs tea. Who can say why?

I think some people just like to do things their own way. You could mention the iron and caffiene thing casually, it may give pause for thought.

Biscuits are fine for babies if the rest of their diet is healthy, I imagine a bourbon is a bit like a bikkiepeg and nice to knaw on.

In York Castle Museum there is a teaspoon which was used by a mother in the 50s to feed her tiny baby weak tea and rich tea biscuits because he was allergic to milk
He is alive and well apparently, so it's amazing what babies can survive!

LMB I think you'll find a lot of mums on here think its perfectly OK to give babies biscuits as its an occasional / everyday treat. I'm not one of them by the way

I think you'll do your very best bringing up your son.

I know what you mean, Little Miss Bliss. I go to some local playgroup and although I live in a middle class area, and all the mums are mid 20 and above, I see some really bad stuff happening. Giving coca cola in a bottle, 4 year old still walking around with a bottle full of squash hanging from their mouth, young babies sucking on chocolate biscuits, salty crisps to babies under one... It makes my toes curl, trust me. The other day I was in the supermarket and my son, 2 years old, was snacking on a apple, and one woman told me 'oh that's a good idea, giving an apple for a snack' I am not joking!!! Anyway, each to their own, I try not to judge what others do but if they'd ask my opinion I'd tell them for sure.

One of my very good friends asked me the other day if I was brushing my son's teeth regularly, i said 'every evening and sometimes in the morning too' she said 'I'd better start brushing DS' tooth soon' and guess what, he's 2.5 years old! I couldn't believe it! She had never brushed his teeth... yet she is a very well off woman, well educated, and in her early 30s. Can't blame ignorance there.

So is it more accepted to see 'bad stuff' in a 'lower class' area with Mums under 25 then?

That's a remarkably post I think BBP....... loads of young mothers on low incomes are fantastic!

I actually wanted to reassure the original post that bad eating habits are not restricted to families with younger mums. It's not more acceptable or less acceptable, it's just a fact.

She already knows that though, I don't think the OP was using the age of the mum, it is just a young Mums group that she goes to, she is a young Mum herself so I doubt she needs reassuring -

and it was the 'althoughI live in a middle class area' in your post that I felt was

My MIL was always trying to give my 3 tea in their bottles (and she used to be a midwife). She was quite obsessed with them having tea. She's not that ancient (only in her 50s) but I ignored her (because of the iron thing actually). Perhaps this girls mother has been doing it?

I wouldn't be too fussed about a bourbon. Other than being worried about choking (ds2 and ds3 used to choke on everything- ds1 was PFB so didn't have chocolate until gone 2).

Yes it seems like some sort of weird obsession.

I would never have done it, and would probably have been a bit surprised to see anyone else doing it, but would not have said anything.

I was textbook with mine, because I had no clue what I was doing, and I bought the hype. Word of warning LMB, when you say you will "sit there smugly," thinking about how much healthier your dd will be....I was determined my kids would grow up with a healthy attitude to food. I breastfed exclusively until they were 6mths, then I cooked and pureed myself into a frenzy. they ate fish, meat, every vegetable under the sun- I was SOO proud of my dd1 and her wonderful diet. then when she was about 15mths, she stopped eating it all!! dd2 did EXACTLY the same!! Now I absolutely BATTLE to get veg etc into them and dinnertime is a nightmare for me, as I try not to stress about how little they eat, and how they would jump at the chance of chicken nuggets My friend fed jars from the minute she weaned them at 4 mths, bottle-fed, gave them chocolate...now, her 2 LOVE salads, fruit, veg.....sigh!! So don't get TOO smug!