Help please!! My toddler is terrified of “monsters” in her room!

[Mumto2under2]

Long post I’m sorry: Please has anyone got any advice - my toddler (2.5yrs) has become terrified of monsters in her room. This fear has come from nowhere, she is usually the most confident little girl and has been sleeping through the night without a single issue for over a year. Then one night she screamed and screamed about being scared of monsters in her room. We’ve have tried absolutely everything: monster spray, night lights, white noise, music, teddies, monsters university the film, trying to change the idea of monsters being scary to being fun and friendly, let the dog sleep in her room, we’ve slept in her room to show there’s nothing to be scared of, rearranged her whole bedroom and got rid of anything causing shadows etc, we bought a worry monster and the matching book. We have honestly tried every single recommended thing and nothing is working. We can’t even leave her room without her screaming and panicking. Bedtime is becoming an awful time, we’re starting to lose our tempers and I honestly feel awful but I’m lost for what to do. We have to stay in her room until she falls asleep which is sometimes taking 2 hours! We say every tea time “after tea we will have a bath, read a story and then it’s bedtime okay” so she knows bedtime is coming and can be prepared. She talks about being scared of monsters throughout the day and we have reassured her that she is safe at home and we will always look after her. We don’t know what else to do :(

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut Yes I agree, I think it’s come from a child rather than a worker! Or even a book? I’m really not sure. I’m going to speak to nursery on Monday and see if they know where it’s originated from, either way we just want to work on overcoming the fear and hopefully her returning to her normal happy little self!

You do you. I'm not criticising your parenting so I'll thank you not to criticise mine - as I've said, most cultures all over the world have done it this way for millennia, but if you reckon that this method creates "fear and anxiety", then don't do it. In my dd's case, it's clearly lessened her fear and anxiety. But every kid is different

Yes, I understand. You have to do what you think is best. No-one can do more than that.

Overall, I think it's a fault with western society that we try to force our children to sleep alone, when they'll feel safest sleeping with us. My dd slept with me. She had her own bed, but slept in mine. My dgd sleeps with her parents. We don't do 'leaving the child alone'. So I speak from my experience and from my social and political perspective, which is different from yours.

Can you show her footage of your baby monitor/indoor camera if you have one? Set it up in her room one night. The following day show it to her and say its proof that monsters don't exist or don't really come to her room whatever works best. Stay outside the room and reassure her while doing this.

My DC had a fear of someone lurking outside his bedroom windows. I showed him the footage from the camera we have around our house and have explained to him so far we have no evidence. We can sometimes see cats or foxes in the garden so he would see if some monsters do exist. I also tell him I constantly monitor the camera so he can sleep peacefully. Worked for us.

I was thinking you could take the conversation away from monsters and generally talk about things that are real and things that aren't so she gets a wider picture of fictional characters.

So you could be reading The Gruffalo or Room on the Broom or any old unicorn book for example and then you can giggle and say "these aren't real silly billy, they are just made up stories".

You could ask her what her favourite animal is...a cat? Yes that's a real animal, we see them in the street as they are real.

Daddy what's your favourite? A unicorn? No daddy choose something that's real please as they aren't real.

That sort of thing will reinforce the message each day away from the upset and monster chat.

@partypompoms Thank you this is really helpful, I was wondering how I was going to go about having a conversation with her about things that are real and things that aren’t so that I could make sure she would understand. Those examples are perfect for her!

Does she watch TV/videos? Watch out for those too. I remember when ds was a little older and could explain better he was terrified going to bed after watching a, we thought harmless, Tom and Jerry where Tom was flat and squeezed under a door. He wasn't sure why it scared him, it just did. A few nights in my room not thinking about it because he felt safe and he forgot about it and was ok after that.

Their imaginations can take all that ideas overload from TV/videos and really mix it up.

I know you've probably tried lots of music songs etc but this may be worth a try!

It sounds as though you are doing all you can. It's very common, I remember being terrified of monsters at night, in my room and on the landing outside, so was my son. It will pass.