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Original poster

10 year old asked where babies come from, how much do I tell?

81 replies

Rollerboots · 11/08/2023 21:41

As above, 10 year old son asked, seems genuinely interested.
I asked if anyone was taking about it, he said no, but said he has seen a boy doing a “finger in a hole” motion and want to understand what it means!
Anyone got a recommendation for a book I can read with him?
Any advice welcome!

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Lesina · 11/08/2023 23:23

The truth. We knew it was only way when the 3 year old said ‘ Babies are squeezed out of mummies bums’ 😂

SmellsLikeTeenSpirits · 11/08/2023 23:29

10 is a good age to introduce them to the biological facts. If you're in the UK it will be covered in PSHE sessions during Y6. My son came home from his to let me know that 'ladies grow babies in their overalls' and my daughter came back thinking she was going to start laying eggs like a chicken. So preparatory and supplementary chat advisable :)

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/08/2023 23:57

Msmbc · 11/08/2023 23:23

Argh it's so annoying when posters like clockwork turn up to say other posters who think biological facts should just br given to young children in the same way as other facts think of themselves as superior and "cooler". Not having embarrassment about sex doesn't make you self-congratulatory for goodness sake, we don't think it's "cool", just the most sensible thing to do!

Show quote history

At 4 I think it’s a lot to teach all the biological facts. At this sort of age, I told dd there was something like a nest inside a mum’s tummy to grow the baby safely until it was time to come out. I didn’t tell dd exactly how this happened. She didn’t ask. I talked about daddy’s seed and mummy’s egg meeting in there. She knew about sex by idk 8/9 and ivf (as she was a ivf a baby) at maybe 10.

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teaandtoastwithmarmite · 12/08/2023 00:29

@Soubriquet how did you manage that? I flicked through my DD's book and it mentioned masturbation but I was hoping she didn't mention it. She did say that it said adults don't just have sex to make a baby

Soubriquet · 12/08/2023 08:32

It wasn’t easy…I just sort of said, when people want a quick release, they can use their fingers or a special toy. It’s not dirty. It’s not wrong. And im sure you’ll do it yourself one day but it is private.

Dd looked at me with a bit of disgust and said…so have you done it?

She went ew when I said yes

BCBird · 12/08/2023 08:41

If he's interested he wants info. It is best frim.you than someone else. I'd get dad on board too,if this is a possibility and talk about it together. I'd make it casual,perhaps when doing something else,rather than it being a lecture. Good luck OP

Slothlikemum · 12/08/2023 12:25

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/08/2023 22:17

I agree!

Also look at bbc resources.

If you're on Instagram I think lalalaletmeeexplain has good advice on this.

Please remember most children have seen porn by age 9 now so it's best children get the facts from their parents

Show quote history

MOST children have seen porn by age 9? I find that extremely hard to believe and would love a source for that stat

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/08/2023 12:26

@Slothlikemum way more than half, saw it somewhere in the news recently my friends tagged me in it have lost it though

Thirty5 · 12/08/2023 12:28

WhatAPalaverer · 11/08/2023 21:49

Very late to be having the conversation! Mine all knew by 4.

Bullshit

TinkerbellefromYorkshire · 12/08/2023 12:30

Can't understand at age 10 why you haven't told him? He will be most likely start having wet dreams.. DR Ranj has some excellent books out especially for boys.. explaining feelings/ wet dreams/ growing up/ puberty/ sex etc.. l suggest you buy those..seems you find it awkward to talk to your own 10 year old..

Oblomov23 · 12/08/2023 12:31

The truth. Is he year 5, going into year 6? In which case he should be doing it as a topic this coming year, so he should know most of the basics already.

Anewuser · 12/08/2023 12:35

Unless he was off school sick for PSHE lessons in year 4 and 5, he will have already learnt it at school.

As OP hasn’t bothered returning, I’m guessing it wasn’t a genuine question.

trulyunruly01 · 12/08/2023 13:09

Well mine didn't know by 4! but by the year before I expected it to be on the school syllabus I definitely made sure they knew the mechanics , and the terminology. We also talked about consent and that in humans it was a decision by both parties and something that both parties should find pleasant (too much Attenborough in this house, those baboons have a lot to answer for).
And also that you can choose to have the facts and do nothing about them until you want to, even if you're like really old, say 25.
I didn't want my dc to be the ones with the shocked faces, nor the ones who giggle all the way through the presentation.

RampantIvy · 12/08/2023 13:16

Unless he was off school sick for PSHE lessons in year 4 and 5, he will have already learnt it at school.

DD's school didn't cover this until year 6.

WhatAPalaverer · 12/08/2023 13:20

Thirty5 · 12/08/2023 12:28

Bullshit

Show quote history

Nope- we read the “where babies come from” book multiple times when I was expecting the next one and at 3 with the youngest.

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 12/08/2023 13:44

I'm surprised that school hasn't touched on it at all, I thought they had to do it in Yr5 nowadays.
At 10, you just tell the truth. It doesn't need to be graphic, obviously, but it should be factual. I don't think that talking about "nests in mummy's tummy" is necessary or helpful at that age.

I remember asking my parents at age 5 and got a very straightforward, honest answer. The only follow up answer I remember giving was "What, completely naked?!" I then mostly forgot about it for the next few years until it was the next big joke in the playground.

Pontiouspilate · 12/08/2023 13:47

How on earth did you let your child get to 10 without discussing basic sex education. Why do you need books? Just speak to him.

Also, my daughter is 8 and this has been covered in PHSE so how has he missed this? Did you pull him out of it?

RampantIvy · 12/08/2023 13:54

Pontiouspilate · 12/08/2023 13:47

How on earth did you let your child get to 10 without discussing basic sex education. Why do you need books? Just speak to him.

Also, my daughter is 8 and this has been covered in PHSE so how has he missed this? Did you pull him out of it?

This wasn't covered at DD's school until year 6.

I wonder if they do these lessons earlier now because of the explosion in social media?

Pontiouspilate · 12/08/2023 14:03

I wonder if they do these lessons earlier now because of the explosion in social media?

yes, perhaps. They definitely covered how human babies are made last term in year 3

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 12/08/2023 14:17

Soubriquet · 12/08/2023 08:32

It wasn’t easy…I just sort of said, when people want a quick release, they can use their fingers or a special toy. It’s not dirty. It’s not wrong. And im sure you’ll do it yourself one day but it is private.

Dd looked at me with a bit of disgust and said…so have you done it?

She went ew when I said yes

That's a good explanation actually. Well done☺️. I remember discovering masturbation and then doing it a lot but I was a lot older. DD looked at DH during the wet dream conversation (we had to discuss it as she tried Googling it) and asked him straight if he had had one and to be fair he answered her honestly.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 12/08/2023 14:20

I wonder if they do these lessons earlier now because of the explosion in social media?*
Good point. DD just said they were told some words they would be learning about in future and one was 'wet dream'. Teacher said don't worry about it now but of course they all went off and googled it

Pontiouspilate · 12/08/2023 15:50

DD just said they were told some words they would be learning about in future and one was 'wet dream'. Teacher said don't worry about it now but of course they all went off and googled it

I’d complain to the school. How many poor kids have come across porn googling that at home. It’s totally inappropriate to tell them they’ll learn something interesting but not explain it at that point

Bouncyball23 · 12/08/2023 16:34

PissOffJeffrey · 11/08/2023 21:48

At 10 the full story. If he is going in to Year 6 he will be taught this at school very soon anyway.

They are taught from year 3 now not everything but enough.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 12/08/2023 17:56

He's 10 tell him everything. Girls around him will be getting their periods soon. If you don't tell him he'll soon find out at school.

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