10 year old asked where babies come from, how much do I tell?

[Rollerboots]

As above, 10 year old son asked, seems genuinely interested.
I asked if anyone was taking about it, he said no, but said he has seen a boy doing a “finger in a hole” motion and want to understand what it means!
Anyone got a recommendation for a book I can read with him?
Any advice welcome!

My DS had just finished year 5. They covered puberty and body changes and periods and how babies are made like sperm meeting egg etc. but not the mechanics of sex. My DS did ask me how the sperm gets into the woman, so we had that chat, honestly, in a very factual way. He thought it sounded disgusting though so didn't have many follow up questions. He's brought it up a few times since.

Funny thing though is that he asked me about it on the way to hang out in a friend's house with two mates. I had to warn the mum whose house I was dropping him at that we'd had that conversation on the way up as he was bound to share the information 😂Which he did of course

Should add that my 7 year old was asking me about it today too! He's currently reading a book about anatomy at the moment though so it's raising questions!

Think you’re having a hard time here. My ds has just turned 10 (finished year 5). I don’t think he really knows but I gather au have learnt at school. If he asks I will be honest with him though.

4????? Seriously?

Mine knew by 4 too. Didn’t realise it was unusual.

But what if he doesn’t explicitly ask? Will you just not bring it up? I’d much rather know and be responsible for what my children learn about this topic!

Mine too.

By 2, they started asking questions about my bump & got the basics.

There was never The Talk. I answered questions as they arose, and I was particularly clear about periods with my two DSs who are now well able to talk about periods, ask their DSis how she is, have no fuss about picking up a box of tampons or pads in a supermarket.

Fair point. We’ll find the right time.

I agree!

Also look at bbc resources.

If you're on Instagram I think lalalaletmeeexplain has good advice on this.

Please remember most children have seen porn by age 9 now so it's best children get the facts from their parents

I don't hide anything, am open with my children (eldest is 6) about bodies, body parts, periods etc but we've never had a discussion about sex! How much does your 4 year old know? I'm not being hysterical, I'm genuinely intrigued!

Hair in funny places is also a good book

How much does your 4 year old know? I'm not being hysterical, I'm genuinely intrigued!

😂

Sorry, my then 4 yo is now my 16 yo DD!

I had 3 DC in 4 years so she saw me pregnant when she was 2, then 4, so lots of opportunities for conversions. She was particularly interested - my 2 DS, less so.

In terms of sex itself, I remember her asking specifically how the sperm met the egg / how Daddy made a baby with Mammy etc. So told her that what sex was - penis / vagina etc & that was fine.

I'm sure she didn't really take it in, but without sounding pious, I really always told them factual information & then built on it.

I remember with my middle DS while he understood periods & why women have them very well, I'd obviously missed crucial information because I think he asked at about 11 when he would get his!

Both of my DS (now 12 & 14) have had very frank conversations with me, say about erections, wet dreams, some of the colloquial terms they hear. (Single parent so they don't have their dad to ask) Sometimes I do struggle with exactly how I want to approach a particular topic or how comfortable I feel about a detailed sex question but I usually answer and we laugh a bit if it all feels ridiculous.

I don't hide anything, am open with my children (eldest is 6) about bodies, body parts, periods etc

I think this is perfect - if you're doing that the sex element follows, when the time is right for you / DC 🙂

That's a bit unnecessary!!

This. Has he not covered it at school?

Everything. As you should have been doing since she was 3. And make sure she's got a period kit in her school bag and knows how to use it.

Sorry-boy so no period kit. But still tell him about it.

Thank you, that's helpful! I'm hoping it will
all come up naturally. My parents were/are very prudish and I'm hoping to be the opposite!

I knew a certain amount when I was 4 as that's when my sister was born, and my parents got me a book which went into a surprising amount of detail about the sperm and egg but used some euphemisms which I never really understood, such as 'the seed goes into a special place between the woman's legs'... I remember thinking, "but there's nothing in between my legs, just air!"

@BettyBoopy

I think it sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing.

It's all about the openness, isn't it?

I agree with PP, but also I do understand how your child can get to 10 without knowing alot.

Just go with as honesty and let him ask questions.

Very late to be having the conversation! Mine all knew by 4.

We aren't all as cool as you

@Rollerboots ignore all the smug, cool posters on here. I borrowed some useful, age appropriate books from the library when DD would have been in year 4, but she didn't want to know. I approached the subject when she was a little older, but she still didn't want to know. I knew the school did sex ed in year 6, so I left it up to the school in the end.

On the day that I knew they had had the sex ed lesson I asked her if she had learned anything interesting in school that day. The answer was no.

DD didn't really know about periods because by the time she was old enough to understand I wasn't having them any more

Maybe schools do sex ed earlier these days, but DD's school waited until year 6.

Tell him to Google it. 🍆

On the off-chance that this was serious advice: please don't.

Argh it's so annoying when posters like clockwork turn up to say other posters who think biological facts should just br given to young children in the same way as other facts think of themselves as superior and "cooler". Not having embarrassment about sex doesn't make you self-congratulatory for goodness sake, we don't think it's "cool", just the most sensible thing to do!