Four year old bedtime ruining our holiday.!

[AHM5619]

So our four year old does best in a routine, he is very energetic and strong willed. He’s a superstar most of the time, but bedtimes have always been somewhat challenging- we go through peaks and troughs. Once asleep he sleeps through till morning. on a bad night he is asleep by 830, a good night 7/730.

We are on holiday and have travelled a fair distance, we’ve needed a couple of hotel stops. In the first he screamed, kicked, punched (you name it!) for about two hours by which point we were all upset and angry. The second one was about an hour of this behaviour and the third again about an hour.

Nothing will calm him, he is out of control. We’ve stuck to our usual English time routine as we know that this suits him best. We’ve eaten at normal times and he has eaten well. I know it’s terribly exciting and a bit overwhelming but this is just miserable.

He has big emotions but he can and does control them at nursery etc.

Any advice as I am sitting here, hungry having not had supper, miserable as I worry what on earth is wrong with him!

Exactly! I suspect if I’d have said we were on a plane for 10 hours there would have been different replies!

I think all people are trying to point out is if you take a kid out of their routine, it's not surprising they end up out of sorts.

This applies whether you fly, drive or get the train.

Kids don't understand or care about being in France, most kids feel more settled in their routines.

A lot of us will have set more realistic holiday expectations, so either prioritising the routine or accepting the disruption, but not expecting a 4yo to manage it emotionally as they are too young.

Sounds like he needs an autism assessment. Doctors often prescribe melatonin for autistic kids because they often follow this pattern especially when life has been unpredictable

Sounds amazing :)

Can highly recommend Lake Annecy also, with a stop in Versailles to walk the palace gardens and street dining or 20min train to Paris.

How do you know he doesn't "drop" if you're the type to stick to uk time mealtimes and fight with a 4 year old for hours on holiday over bedtimes 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sounds like you've picked an adult holiday, long drives, solitary accommodation, no other children or clubs for him. And on top of that you're having him eat at 4pm and starting his bedtime routine at 6pm.

No wonder he's kicking off. Stop babying him and obsessing over routines and let him have a holiday from it, then you might get somewhere.

Lake Annecy is on our radar for next time, we had friends go there earlier this year and said it was amazing. We have an 8 month old too so thought another year would be better for that one!

Because sometimes we camp and then we have to be totally flexible with timings. Even when a baby he never drops, none of our children ever have. We choose to keep to the routine this holiday and he has been absolutely great in the Gite but not in the hotel. Maybe we should have been more flexible in the hotels and I will try to be tonight to see if that gets any better response.

I am not a ‘new parent’ but I know that my 4 year old is super active and for him to be happy he needs his rest. Like me frankly, he is an early bird.

He has had a great time, we’ve always done long journeys. He particularly liked the vineyard tour too!

Also the time is ahead in Europe. So we’ve been eating at 6pm rather and bed at 7pm….

your message sounds so familiar! We have three kids and when they we first attempted holidays, we’d try and fail to stick to their routines. Awful unhappy bedtimes that took hours and everyone got cross
we gave up and just stuck them in bed when we went. We’d also eat when they did or give them a snack then they’d eat later with us. Whatever worked. I find they go through phases of being tired (stick tv or device on) alert and happy - play and chat with them or falling sleep through choice on a sofa.
either way - it was much more pleasant that way and still is (youngest is 7 now and just gets quite tired by the end of two weeks but copes)

"Also the time is ahead in Europe. So we’ve been eating at 6pm rather and bed at 7pm…."

There are several time zones in Europe actually but yes, France is an hour ahead of the uk. My mistake.

Still, vineyard tours, long drives, solitary accommodation, early nights, only a week away at both hotels and a cottage. It's just not very 4 year old friendly is it?

You seem determined to argue with anyone who disagrees with you but tbh, they've made good points. Why force a kid to bed screaming and crying on holiday. It's meant to be fun

I am listening and will try suggestions. He has had a great time and has really enjoyed all of it! It is ONLY the hotel nights which has been challenging and we will adjust and see if that helps tonight.

Thanks for the words of comfort! I think we will let it go tonight and see what happens and fingers crossed 😊

Tbh 8.30 doesn’t sound that late. I appreciate sometimes they’re overtired and staying up can make it worse but I would try just chilling out and let him stay up a bit later if he’s not ready for sleep! All part of holiday surely? Then bonus you might even get a lie in!

Just let him stay up.

Please don't forget that "he particularly enjoyed the vineyard tour". A 4 year old. Let that sink in for a second.
This is peak middle class Mumsnet 🤣🤣🤣

Her holiday is not kid friendly at all, it's an adults' holiday, she's just deluding herself into thinking it is. Let her be.

I would just go with the flow a bit on holiday. Let him stay up a bit later and go to bed all together.