Am I stupid to feel guilt over this?

[Elsxx]

So DC2 wasn’t planned however I wasn’t on the pill. I took a contraception break while waiting to decide what to switch to, and the one time you don’t use anything and think “it’ll be fine” I got pregnant! Me and DH in a very good position so it wasn’t. A bad suprise just sooner than we’d like!
so although I say unplanned, I hold my hands up on the lack of contraception etc.

This means DC2 is due 3 weeks after DC1s birthday. I thought maybe if I requested a VBAC ( if there were minimal risk) I could potentially go overdue and the birthdays be further apart

however speaking to my midwife, as DS was big and I’ve previously had a c section (elective due to breach that went well but I obviously still have the scar that could rupture!) that they’d look to do sweeps or ask about induction so I would go like 3 days over my due date max. They don’t want me going far overdue

so either way the birthdays are under a month apart and I do feel guilty I don’t get why :(

does anyone have kids who have birthdays within an month of eachother?

DH and his brother are 5 days apart and his parents always did ‘joint celebrations’ which I personally wouldn’t want to do and wouldn’t want people thinking we celebrate them together

sorry for sounding silly I come from a family who celebrates all occasions we love to celebrate and make a fuss of each other :)

My mum dad brother and I all had birthdays between the 8th and 27th July. 8/16/24/27. I was 24th so had to take my cards down more quickly. We used to get together as adults to celebrate all the July birthdays together as well as doing our own thing.

Also by the time your eldest goes to school the younger will start nursery and you will have more free time!

Hi OP didn't mean to make you feel worse . Was just meaning I remember feeling really sad about a similar age gap and trying to do everything ameliorate it but in retrospect although some things were out of my control I wish I'd somehow focused more on how to bring them together rather than trying to spend special time with xx etc. not helped with my in laws disappearing off for longer than expected all day when I wanted my H to bring ds into the hospital as Zi was up and ready for home at 8 am after a 2 am birth. Lol

Mine are three weeks apart. We did joint birthday parties when they were little because it's only a year between them so all their friends were close in age. So we'd have DC1 at the beginning of the month with family birthday, massive crazy party in the middle of the month, and DC2 at the end of the month with family.

It is known as The Month of Cake.

They are older now, and friend groups are smaller and have different interests, so we do separate parties now. But joint soft play/entertainer parties are the way to go when they're small. They just need their own cakes for blowing out candles.

My sister and I are 3 weeks apart, never been an issue! I remember being cross at the idea she might be born on my actual birthday but not fussed other than that. My dad, aunt, grandma, granny, best friend and husband all have birthdays in the same couple of months so it does get busy but everyone gets celebrated!

Just so you are aware of other options

I had a section due to breech and failed induction

18 months later I had a home VBAC 6 days after my due date. Had a sweep 2 days after due date which was at my request.

Unfortunately the nhs do like to push the surgery route after a section.

I appreciate I have a bit more time between births than you but I'd resist over medicalising your VBAC as much as possible.

And in answer to your original question don't worry about feeling guilty. Great for sharing parties etc

Just reading all the replies about don't share parties! It's completely the done thing where I am and no one seems to mind, if you don't have a sibling you find a friend with a close birthday 😂

Wow my reading comprehension is poor! I thought you said you'd only have a year between births, not two. Definitely try to let the birth play itself out if there are no medical reasons not to

My friends children share a birthday (5 years apart).
The day itself is immediate family celebration and then separate parties (weekend before and after, or one Saturday and one sunday).

Non issue, unless you make it one. The fact you go to such lengths to explain you didn't mean to have them close together is a bit odd, it's so common! Maybe some people only "celebrate" certain times of the year or something, I don't know.
Not many of my friends have multiple children but half of those that do have quite close birthdays! (2x siblings in one month, 3 in September/Early October, 2x a day apart, and I also know sisters my age that are 24th and 25th December... that one sucks a bit lol)

My sister mid-April & I'm mid-May, two years apart.

Never in my wildest imaginings over the past 58 years has this been an issue.

My children’s birthdays are 2 days apart and it’s absolutely fine. It’s always a busy week as I never do joint celebrations. I think it’s important for them to have their own birthday treats/parties etc… don’t worry about it at all they really don’t mind!

My younger child was due two days after the older one’s birthday. He came a week early so there’s five days between their birthdays. I’ve done shared parties for the last few years because they’ve been house parties (covid and holidays) and the small one’s friends were the siblings of the big one’s friends so two days with the same people attending seemed daft. I think this year might be the last thought as the interests are getting too far apart and the four year old l now has his own pals from nursery. Saved me a fortune on a separate party for three years though!

My sister and I are 5 days apart! We loved it, especially once older when we'd have joint parties as teenagers.

It really isn't that big a deal, as long as they're still treated as individuals- and the baby isn't going to know any different for at least 5 years!

I wouldn’t have even thought this was a ‘thing’. There’s only so many days in the year.

My younger dc are 10 days apart. Never had a joint birthday. They are different star signs though

I have 13 months and one week between my 2, other than it being an expensive few weeks every year, it's fine. First was EMCS, second I tried for VBAC and went into natural labour, but was closely monitored and they didn't hang about when I failed to progress, same as DD1 who was a failed induction. Turned out she was presenting face first and was completely stuck. So 2 EMCS for me.

Mine are a month apart. They never, ever gave joint anything for birthdays. On the one occasion when we had a weekend away for their birthdays last year, they had separate days for themselves iyswim - DS opted for a day at the aquarium, DD for a day at a zoo.

It's honestly not a problem at all.

In my birth family almost everyone in the extended family had their birthday in one of two months. Some of us just have a breeding season!