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Original poster

Am I stupid to feel guilt over this?

67 replies

Elsxx · 05/08/2023 07:47

So DC2 wasn’t planned however I wasn’t on the pill. I took a contraception break while waiting to decide what to switch to, and the one time you don’t use anything and think “it’ll be fine” I got pregnant! Me and DH in a very good position so it wasn’t. A bad suprise just sooner than we’d like!
so although I say unplanned, I hold my hands up on the lack of contraception etc.

This means DC2 is due 3 weeks after DC1s birthday. I thought maybe if I requested a VBAC ( if there were minimal risk) I could potentially go overdue and the birthdays be further apart

however speaking to my midwife, as DS was big and I’ve previously had a c section (elective due to breach that went well but I obviously still have the scar that could rupture!) that they’d look to do sweeps or ask about induction so I would go like 3 days over my due date max. They don’t want me going far overdue

so either way the birthdays are under a month apart and I do feel guilty I don’t get why :(

does anyone have kids who have birthdays within an month of eachother?

DH and his brother are 5 days apart and his parents always did ‘joint celebrations’ which I personally wouldn’t want to do and wouldn’t want people thinking we celebrate them together

sorry for sounding silly I come from a family who celebrates all occasions we love to celebrate and make a fuss of each other :)

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LakeTiticaca · 05/08/2023 09:07

Seems a weird thing to get stressed about and I'm pretty the NHS have more important things to do than inducing/delaying births in case someone gets upset in the future about presents.
My eldest 2 are 16 days apart and never gave it a thought.

HVPRN · 05/08/2023 09:09

My sister's girls are born on the same day, 4 years apart 😁😁😁

HVPRN · 05/08/2023 09:10

*were 😂

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AvidMerrian · 05/08/2023 09:11

Trying coming from a big Irish family, where 4 had birthdays in the same month.

i had cousins where all 5 birthdays were in the space of 3 weeks.

my Own are also within 3 weeks of each other.

itsmyp4rty · 05/08/2023 09:34

A month is a long time when you're a kid, i wouldn't worry about it at all.

trrk · 05/08/2023 09:42

I don't think it's an issue either. My sister and I were born 6 days apart (she was due on my birthday) and we always celebrated both birthdays. If anything it makes it easier to remember her birthday now as I'm pretty crap with remebering people's birthdays. Looking back I'm a bit surprised that my Mum hosted my 3rd birthday party on her due date for my sister!

Sanch1 · 05/08/2023 09:48

Total non issue. We have June and July and both birthdays are treated equally. A few times they've even asked for joint parties.

katmarie · 05/08/2023 10:00

My brother and I have one day between our birthdays. It was fine, we celebrated individually, we both had our own birthday day. My sisters are exactly 4 weeks apart too, and there was never any drama there. I honestly don't see there being an issue.

Piggyplate · 05/08/2023 10:07

I've got September, October, November then Xmas then January birthdays it's been fine so far

WeWereInParis · 05/08/2023 10:21

If my DD2 had been born on her due date there would have been 3 weeks between her birthday and DD1's. It didn't occur to me to worry about it, but my siblings have 3 days between their birthdays and I don't think they ever cared.

As it happened, my waters broke early and DD2 was induced so there is 6 weeks between birthdays.

Swearwolf · 05/08/2023 11:00

My brother and I are a week apart and I promise it's never been an issue. If anything it just meant July was birthday season, like how Christmas is a holiday for everyone. Made sense to us!

chipsandpeas · 05/08/2023 11:03

my friends 2 kids have the same birthday and its never been an issue

TaigaSno · 05/08/2023 11:07

My sister and I have our birthdays exactly two weeks apart, with a two year gap. Our parents never did joint parties, we each had our own party - more to celebrate!
Now, as adults, we have birthday celebrations with our own family/friends, but every year we meet up exactly half way between our birthdays, and do a celebration together just the two of us.

FusionChefGeoff · 05/08/2023 11:32

You can always celebrate one the weekend before and one the weekend after to spread them out even more.

Definitely no need to over think this!!

Hoppinggreen · 05/08/2023 11:33

Mine are 2 weeks apart - just before Christmas!!

Anontocomment · 05/08/2023 11:38

My nephews were born exactly 49 weeks apart - so 3 weeks between their birthdays (this month in fact). We have always done separate birthdays for them. You'll be ok, honest. I'm thinking the guilt might be to do with the way DC2 was conceived - try to forget about it (I know it's not easy) and focus on the fact that you're going to have two healthy DC xxx

whosaidtha · 05/08/2023 11:54

Me and my sister have the exact same birthday. Never been an issue.

stayclosetoyourself · 05/08/2023 12:06

Don't try to alter your due date!!
Close birthdays not a problem. I think possibly you are feeling sad/ and iota/ guilty about second xx as earlier than you wanted.

stayclosetoyourself · 05/08/2023 12:08

Sorry anxious
Dc
Maybe see if you could reflect on the changes, how you'll manage things, possibly a session of counselling?? I get that sounds ott but I was in a sort of similar situation many years ago x

RunningFromInsanity · 05/08/2023 12:08

My sister and I are 3 weeks apart, and 2 years between us. We had joint parties for a while and it was no problem. If anything it meant we could have slightly more extravagant parties as the cost was shared!

BettySundaes · 05/08/2023 12:14

My sister is 4 days before me and my brother the day after me. We always had separate parties, presents etc - not an issue.

JollyMollyPolly · 05/08/2023 12:20

I have twins and a singleton, the twins have always had shared parties and the other has his on his own. There really is very little difference in the celebrations. I wouldn't worry about this at all.

Cloudflare · 05/08/2023 12:30

The birthdays of my sister and I are a day apart. It was fine.

Madamecastafiore · 05/08/2023 12:58

Dcs are 3 days apart, I could have had DC3 on same day as DC2 but asked for at least 3 days in between. They nor I have ever thought it was an issue.

Original poster

Elsxx · 05/08/2023 13:06

Lots of reassuring replies here :) I definitely have guilt over a bit of a surprise pregnancy, DS will have just turned 2 when DC2 arrives, and in my ‘plan’ I always said we’d look to try when DS was in school - so a lot earlier than I thought!

so the birthday worry ties in with me feeling guilty that he feels so young to me and it seems sooner (again not being all woe is me, because like I said I didn’t use contraception me and DH take full responsibility)

But some lovely replies too. I didn’t think of them being kids and asking to celebrate together/do something joint :) that’s really cute. And I didn’t even think of less present jealousy type of thing! So thanks to everyone highlighting the positive side to me <3

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