Siblings sharing bedrooms

[Blahblahgingerbreadlady]

What is your experience of this? Both dh and I were lucky that we never had to (both grew up in big houses!) definitely can’t afford to move with mortgages and would rather keep our current place and make it work. We have three upstairs bedrooms. One is our master, one is our office and the other is ds bedroom. When our next baby is born DS will be 4. Initially we thought the next baby would get the office room, but we both wfh a lot and really don’t want to give it up.

The baby will probably share our master for the first year like DS (tbh we still cosleep a lot and happy with that). Do you think sharing a bedroom when he/she is older could work?

Felt a bit bad but reality is I had some childhood friends who shared and actually loved it (not sure how this worked in teenage years though). By teenage years we’ll have probably moved anyway so not an issue.

I would probably make the master bedroom a dual use office/bedroom. Your ds is old enough to resent having to give up his room.

My dc shared until they were 15 and 13. They would have preferred not to, but we only have 2 bedrooms so they had no choice. Then we converted the 2nd reception room into a bedroom.

It was perfectly normal amongst my peer group growing up for same sex siblings to share until they left home.

Four years is a big gap in their needs - and there will the added hassle of trying to keep the area baby/toddler friendly. If your DS has a room that is younger sibling free it will make the joy of trying to prevent a toddler eating lego a little easier.

I have converted a huge unnecessary wardrobe into a fold out office - it then is closed away at the end of the day. Is there space in your room for something to close away?

I shared with my sister who was 4 years older and hated it. Can you not have the office in your bedroom as presumably your bedroom is just for sleeping etc and not for hanging out during the day.

Don't have your office in your bedroom. It's a really bad idea, staring at your work space when you are trying to sleep (unless you've a massive room, of course).

Mine share but only have 2 year gap. 4 years is a big gap to share. I would rethink the office. But as they get older if room is big enough if would be OK, I think 1 as a toddler and the other in year 2 sharing would be unfair.

My sister’s 4 years younger than me and close as we are now, I think that if we’d had to share a room as children our relationship might not have survived.

My 5.5 Yr old and 2 year old share. They really like it! 5yr old sleeps really well (now) and doesn't even wakeup when 2yr old has a screaming fit in the night. We co slept a lot ( and still do in the early morning wake ups) and weren't sure how it would work but it's great. We do have a bix room we could be using, but prefer to have it for guests, and to keep the kiddy mess in one place. They currently don't play independently in their room anyway.

I shared with my older sister and loved it. We were super closed and I have so many fun memories of us sharing the same room. I also remember the fights but that's unavoidable whether siblings share rooms or not. I'd go for it and not worry about it. It's good for kids to learn to cooperate etc. And like you said, once they are teens you'll most likely have moved. By the time I was in my early teens we had separate rooms and tbh looking back that's when we grew apart for a bit. Super close again in our twenties on onwards though.

I think given the age gap your older one will need some toddler free space where he can set up Lego, art or whatever without the little one messing it up.

If you are having the baby in your room for the first year why not wait and see how things pan out.

I shared with my sister (who is two years younger than me) until I was 12. Our house had a spare room so it wasn’t space related. I was ready for my own room at 12, though my sister’s preference would have been to keep sharing a room. I enjoyed sharing a room as a young child. We got on very well though, so maybe it was personality/ age gap dependent, and the fact we had our own space through teenage years.

We live in a 4 bed. Our g/b kids chose to share until big one was 10 (or 11). They still share on holiday.

There's almost 5 years between them. I think it helped to make them close.

I do and it really doesn't bother me.

Another option would be a study bed so you don't see it when the bed is down (though I think they only do doubles)

Separate rooms in best unless there is absolutely no option

My oldest two shared until they were 11 and 7. Then my middle two shared until they were 13 and 4 (they both wanted to!) and now my youngest two are still sharing at ages 10 and 8 and will share for at least another three years as that's when my oldest finishes university and might move out.

My middle ds 9 and dd is about to turn 12. They shared a room until this summer when daughter moved into room that had been a spare and then that toddler ds had been in since he was born.

The brothers now share a room despite the 7 year age difference. It's going fine.

Dd and ds never complained about sharing and ds isn't bothered about still sharing with little brother now.

Do you have anywhere downstairs you could work?

They won't necessarily not like it. Mine have had to share all their small years and got a room at 13 and 11. The 13 yo still isn't all that bothered.

The issue is the waking in the night etc

Possibly if same sex

But tbh ds will be 5 when baby in his room if being with you for a year

And prob will resent having to share a space

Can you make baby's room into office so have a travel cot in your room for sleeps if working from home - unless will be going to cm /nursery

So have a desk /laptop etx in there

DGS 1 & 2 have shared since the younger one moved into his own bed the lower bunk They are 7 and 11 and love sharing despite an over 4 year age gap. And it's one less room to keep tidy than if they each had their own.

Ugh really don’t want study in our room! I’m more likey to try to make the study dual. Hmm food for thought, thank you.

Our two DSs have shared for 7 years
since DC2 was born. They have enjoyed it but have got to a point over the last year or so where they definitely need their own rooms (older DS is ten and wants privacy, and it's causing too many arguments).

We're moving out of our room and taking theirs and partitioning ours. It's meant converting our en suite to a shared shower room (sob!) but Tbh, it's
worth it for a quieter life and we can always convert it back when/if there are fewer of us here. Might that be an option for you? I appreciate it's less attractive if you're planning to sell at some point, as it may affect the value of the house, but we'll be here yet awhile and it works for us in other ways (and is significantly cheaper). It will at least stop my older DC wandering through my room to use the en suite when the other bathroom is in use!

Oh and re the earlier post, the study bed company do a single bed as well as a double.

We had enough room for ours to have their own rooms but they opted to share from the age of 5/6 to about 10/11. They are only a year apart though.

I'm from a large family and didn't have my own room until I bought a flat and moved out age 18. I think times were different then though, we didn't have tvs/gaming consoles and that sort of stuff. At most we'd be playing music or reading in our room as teenagers but we generally spent evenings in the living room with parents and really just slept in our bedrooms.

We had no choice but to put both our DSs in together..7 yr age gap..
Baby was in with us until 2 then we gave them the big room and put a bookshelf partition through it.
This turned into a stud wall when DS1 was 13 and DS2 6...they shared well.. obviously some fighting but they are very close now as adults...