Would this put you off a nursery?

[SENnurserysettling]

If there was a parent who stayed for part of every session with their child (then parent and child leave early) who had severe SEN needs? Would you feel that it would unsettle the other children as they don’t have a parent there ? Or would you be ok with it

Yes it's really hard and you have to have absolute trust in the staff. Does he have a good one to one? My son had no relationship with anyone but me and his dad, we found it so hard. But he has built a lovely bond with 3 of the staff after a year.

I do think the going away for 10 mins approach just prolongs the agony. Try and do a proper but not too long stint

I notice that you have not answered the DBS question. Do you have a DBS? Are there ever points where you are not in an open room visible by multiple members of staff? Do you interact with any children other than your own child?

I think that the setting would do well to check whether you should be DBS checked, at the very least.

Ah you don't have ehcp yet that's tricky. We got ours before he started. When will you have that?

Was my exact thought

I would expect the parent to have been DBS checked plus any introductory training for safeguarding that any volunteer would have to do.... but overall it seems a positive solution to the conundrum of getting the needed funding in place.

EHCP is likely to take months, possibly longer. If the plan is not to provide any additional adults over and above the normal ratio unless and until there is money from an EHCP, I would be very concerned both as you and as another parent.

Do you have a DBS and basic statutory safeguarding training? I would be genuinely concerned if the setting has not at least investigated this.

So the SEN parent being there would worry you in case your child got hurt? Surely there is less chance of your child being hurt if the parent is there? Or were you saying that you wouldn’t want your child to go to nursery with a SEN child? If the last one, I hope your child grows up to be accepting of people with different needs.

It wouldn’t bother me at all. My LO might think you were another teacher lol.
I think it’s nice to be inclusive and my LO would grow up I understanding that too.

I don't think that children differentiate between other staff members/parents. It wouldn't automatically be unsettling otherwise nobody would be able to be a childminder if they had children! I have known a few people at various times whose children have gone to the school/nursery that they work at.

You have misread. The child clearly needs a 121 but there isn’t one,’

Parents who have an issue with you staying with your child need to walk in your shoes OP. You are not in an easy position and are doing what your child needs. I wouldn’t allow them to pressure me into changing a plan I’d made for the benefit of my child. I’m a nursery SENCO and I’d be saying that to parents who have a problem with the provision offered for a complex SEN child

Yes it would put me off a lot tbh.

I'd be concerned about the DBS aspect.

But also, parents as a rule are often not the most impartial when it comes to their own child. I'd be fairly concerned about this and about having one child with their parent present and others, including mine, not.

Oops posted too soon.

I would be put off a nursery using a parent that may not be DBS checked instead of using a proper 121.

No neither . I just stay with dd. If she needs changing I just take her to a separate room which is out of the main nursery room . I just need to say I’m going as they need to let me out / back on as I don’t have the door code I was told not to go into the nursery toilets and just to stay with dd. Tbh there really hasn’t been a time when there’s not been a nursery worker or assistant within a few metres of me

I think maybe because it’s very short term ? The plan was 4 weeks

How long does a dbs take ? Can I just get that myself if it would help ? Or is it likely to take so long that dd will have settled more by the times it’s granted ?

Same.

As a volunteer in a school, I am not allowed into the school building with any contact with any children before being DBSed unless I am directly supervised at all times by a member of staff (eg being initially shown round). I had to be fully DBSed (enhanced) before starting as a volunteer, even if I only came in weekly for a couple of hours.

The setting should apply, and they should have explored whether this was necessary before inviting you in with your child.

Is it a stand alone nursery? Committee run pre-school? Part if a day nursery chain? Council run?

It wouldnt bother me as a neurotypical mum at all.
I'm also a neuro diverse mum & would have loved this to have been offered to me but it wasn't, however once I left him he didn't realise I was gone he back them didn't really seem to have much emotion but needed extra care needs. He was 2.5 and started this nursery after a previous one told me I was wishing autism on him, maybe I need to learn how to parent and after SEN inclusion service turned up unannounced and seen the way my son was tteated asked me to remove him immediately however in this new one they had 1:1 finding quick he's always had a 1:1 even before I'd ever heard of an EHCP. We started his EHCP process last October finalised in May this year but has since 2 had 1:1 LA funding of 15 hours.

Im not sure if different LA'S are different but mine already having 15 hours of 1:1 care I believe was someone a big part of the LA agreeing to asses for an EHCP and was spoken about alot.

Please check you're getting everything you are entitled to and ask the senco to check and also check out your LA "local offer"

Ignore other parents! nobody knows your child like you and her needs. No teacher, no senco, no local authority, no nursery practitioner and definitely No other parent. Xx

It’s a really difficult one because, often, parents will be more understanding/accommodating if they know the SEND background, but there is absolutely no need for this information to be shared with parents. What it says to me, then, is that the other parents don’t trust the nursery to make that judgment call, and this would make me question existing staff/parent communication and relationships.

I’ve worked in a nursery where the child needed medication and there was a delay in staff training for this (Covid) so the parent stayed on site until this was completed (their choice). No parents complained and the children accepted it without hesitation. In our case it worked out positively.

This. ^^
You are doing really well in trying OP. Good luck and I hope you get an EHCP soon.

Not rtft so sorry if similar has been said… I’d have a problem with it if my kids had a problem with it. I wouldn’t even question it if they didn’t mention it. But if I got a sad “why does Timmy’s mum get to stay and you don’t” then yes I’d probably question it with the nursery. But I wouldn’t force them to change their plan or explain what any extenuating circumstances would be, I’d just ask them to help in making my upset kid OK with the scenario.

It’s just difficult I don’t want to cause resentment but I need to get dd settled in the way that is best for her

I would not have any issue with this at all. I know my nursery is excellent with safeguarding - when we collect we cannot see any area where children are taken to be changed etc.

Some parents will always find a reason to complain 'on principle'.

Wishing you the best OP, and hoping DC settles well for you!