When does breastfeeding get easier?

[Summermeadowflowers]

Ten days in, endless latch problems, stress about how much she’s getting, unpredictability, chained to the bed/sofa, no sleep … give me some hope!

Just smashed 6 months OP. It's been a horrendous journey with lots of tears (baby's and mine) but finally into a comfortable routine with it. The beginning was awful though, I wanted to quit every day. Bought every type of bottle under the sun. Baby wouldn't take them reliably so was pretty much forced to continue.

About 3-4 weeks it starts to easier, definitely by week 6. Then it gets easy.

The first weeks are tough though.

it will get easier. but remember, not to pressure yourself as the upset you give yourself is not worth it. fed is best, and if that means formula then so be it x

Dd was super sleepy and we had feeding problems. I was told to undress her a bit so she wasn't too cosy (not cold but not cosy!) And tickle her toes a bit to keep her awake.

I can't remember how long it took but it was eventually easy! About a month?

I really hope it becomes easier! I really want to breastfeed but so worried that I am starving her!

If you're genuinely worried about this, I do recommend temporary mixed feeding. You can offer formula top ups and top unders while you work on the latch.

I did mixed feeding till about 4 months, gradually reducing the ratio of formula feeds to BF. Then carried on BF for more than two years after that.

A baby can't latch well if they're frenzied with hunger - I'm not saying your baby is ofc! But if you're worried that's what's happening

If you're worried that that could be happening, I mean, then you could try temporary mixed feeding

@Summermeadowflowers sorry if my messages are written a little blunt I’m typing one handed while I bF my Dc to sleep…..

cluster feeding at that age is normal as it’s needed to establish supply. It is very unlikely to be a sign of low milk supply (although possible). the problem with bF is it’s impossible to see how much milk baby is taking so all mums worry and lack confidence. I worried so much. Are nappies ok? Plenty of wet ones? I’ve seen you spoke to a lactation consultants. Have you called your hv? I called mine in tears around eight weeks as Dc was tiny and still cluster feeding. Wow were they helpful. They saved my sanity and most importantly confidence. Turns out we have a weekly bF cafe here run by HVs so I went to that each week which built my confidence. Also they checked weight of baby etc so I left each week feeling more confident. I’d really recommend seeing if you have something similar. I regret leaving it so long.

in terms of balancing with toddler I can’t offer advice I have no experience but I can say if you crack bF with a toddler you are a superstar. Also if you decide it’s too much that’s completely understandable!!!!!

Also my baby was on my boob constantly when newborn. Just how she was. She still loves it but now that she’s older I can tell the difference between actual feeding and comfort sucking (I couldn’t tell the difference when she was small).

Thank you both. She has plenty of wet nappies but poos are small and worryingly her last poo was darker than the others. Also there is sometimes a vinegary smell which seems odd in such a young breastfed baby?

Shes gaining but slowly - not quite up to birth weight yet. But she is having bottles of expressed breast milk purely because she seems hungry at the end of feeds even when she’s been on for ages.

The vinegary smell is due to trapped wind IME. Trapped wind messes with the digestion a bit and causes a funny smell - the spit ups also end up smelling sour.

Dd got this a lot and had to be burped for hours on end after each feed to prevent it

I’m not sure on the poos and whether normal or not. No idea sorry.

Well done that she is gaining weight!! That is all you. You should be proud.

If you are worrying definitly call hv there is no point sitting at home being unsure. The HVs are there to help with this sort of thing.

If it helps my Dc gained weight sooo slowly and it all turned out fine (she’s just small even now at eight months). Will caveat that all babies are different.

Thanks. I just wish I could know whether her weight gain is because of breastfeeding or despite it (the expressed milk in bottles.) I can’t help but worry she’s barely getting anything from me. I do think she uses me as a human dummy at times but also makes genuine feeding cues - head butting mainly! She is teeny but very strong.

Sorry to go on, I forgot how stressful the early days are. This is where it’s tempting to just introduce formula but I don’t want to do that, I’m already worried she’s developing a bottle preference because of the expressed milk.

I just wish I could latch her onto the breast and have a feed done in 20-30 minutes. I know this will hopefully come in time, it’s just right now I’m literally drained by it, sick of the sofa and feeling so guilty I’ve barely seen DS

I distinctly remember day 10 - we were on the sofa literally all day. I remember crying and thinking ‘she can’t possibly want more’ and there was a time where I’d dread the feeds. We also used the shields and I just kept trying to take them away and we were completely without them after a couple of weeks.
It got easier a few weeks in - and we carried on for 18 months. She got the hang of it and always found so much comfort in it.

not to be negative but long feeds at this age are so so so so normal. I can’t remember when the quick feeds come but they do. Does she do long naps in the day at the moment? Is there any way someone else can hold baby for these naps while you spend time with toddler? Sorry hopefully someone else comes along with life experience of juggling toddler and bf. If I have a second baby perhaps I’ll be referring back here in a Few years!!

The best advice I received was that it’s completely ok to stop bF - but just don’t make the decision when you’re tired (ha), emotional or it’s the middle of the night . Make it in the day when you are thinking straight and Have had time to think through. I told my DH about 12 times I was stopping bF - all around 3am. But then each week became a little easier and i plodded on.

Being used as a human dummy is normal. Obviously you need to do what is right for you and family. Xxx

Yes, day 11 here! I also have an infected wound from my section which is very painful, plus exhaustion is catching up on me a bit!

I breastfed her today in the morning but she still didn’t seem satisfied so I topped her up with 30ml expressed milk. Then she had a bottle of expressed milk while I was waiting at the hospital (60 ml) and she got very upset during a nappy change and wouldn’t latch so another bottle of expressed milk. Then at about just before 5 she had the longest breastfeed, and I have no idea how much if any she took. She just fed again but not for long and was getting agitated at the breast, so she had another 60 ml expressed milk.

OTOH after feeding i don’t seem to have much milk in my breasts when I try to express which makes me think she maybe is taking some but it isn’t satisfying her very much for whatever reason. I don’t know! I wish there was a gauge on my breasts

we had a really rough start. A bit better at 2 weeks. The real turning points are 4 and 6 weeks. The baby gets stronger and your supply stabilizes.

we had an amazing lactation consultant who got us through, a pumping routine, had to do syringe feeding and then use an SNS, but by 6 weeks, the pumping and SNS were completely gone and we were just breastfeeding.

it can be a rough start, but it’s ok to just be stuck in bed doing nothing but nursing . This is a short season and it will be over before you can imagine.

@Beachwaves127 on the contrary I appreciate it as I’ve really been doubting myself. I’m not anti mixed feeding especially given that the two year old does need some parenting but it would be such a shame to stop altogether and I know I’d feel really upset (that’s me, it’s obviously not a judgement on what others may decide to do.)

She is very snoozy during the day - I need to get her in the sling really, it was a lifesaver for DS. But she seems so teeny …

Thanks @Ponderingwindow I would love to just stay in bed! Problem is the toddler (I’m making him sound problematic, he isn’t) but DH is back to work Monday and I do feel worried about it. I’m very lucky as DS does go to nursery three days a week, but Tuesday and Thursday are looming over me a bit!

And sorry - I think I’m a bit stressed as it initially seemed to be going well after we got the lactation consultant out but seems to have gone a bit wrong today. Still there was a lot going on and she has been breastfed just not from the breast.

BF is really hard, I'm 4 months in and I remember the first few weeks I felt like I'd never leave the couch again!

Just wanted to say though, dont forget your baby will always get more milk than you get with a pump. I had the same worries with my first pump, wasnt getting very much out at all but I had the wrong size and when I switched from 24mm to 21mm I now get double what I did before. So it wasnt lack of milk that was the issue, just the wrong pump for me in case that helps

Are you eating enough? My breastfeeding got easier with more milk when I started making sure I was eating enough. I had to use shields since the hospital to get mine to latch as without it was impossible.

I don’t think it’s lack of milk - it’s more that I’m not confident she’s latching very effectively. I mean; she might be. It’s just very hard to know!

It’s about to get so much easier. She’s growing fast and the bigger she gets, the easier her mouth fits to you and also the stronger she can suck.

If you stick with it then trust me when you’re out and about (or wt 3am) and she’s suddenly hungry it is SO much easier being able to pop her on your breast instead of having to make up a bottle. But the first week or two are hard.