MILs dog nipped DS

[MissL21]

Hi guys. Sorry for the lobg post.
I need some advice on how to best handle an already difficult situation.
Last year, my inlaws had a family bbq, my DS was 7 months old. They have 2 dogs, 1 is very boisterous and they have no control over it whatsoever and I already disliked going there.
My BIL was holding my DS when the dog jumped up and nipped his foot and when he squealed he jumped again and nipped his hand. I immediately took DS and said to my DP we are leaving right now. I went inside with him and packed our stuff. My MIL made a big drama saying that he only jumped and nipped because DS was crying. I adamantly told her that he absolutely wasn't making any noise when the dog nipped the first time. We went back outside to say goodbye and the same thing happened again. He jumped and nipped. Now I'm not saying this was a vicious attack that drew blood. But it left scratchy marks and that isn't the point. I made it very clear that I didn't feel safe and we were leaving. My MIL was crying saying she was sorry etc. My SIL then told me that I was right to be angry and upset and the same thing had happened to her DD when she was little.
We haven't been over there since and my DP has explained why.
I'm concerned asit's coming up to the time of year they have this family bbq every year and a family member has been given awful news, I don't want to make any more dramas about it but am I being unreasonable for not wanting to take my DS there? We have a dog of our own and he adores her, they play all the time and with him being a year older I don't want him to want to be full on with their dog. DP says he won't allow him out of his site and won't let him walk around but he's a toddler, there's no way he's not going to be running around the place. I have suggested we go out for a meal instead but DP says we can't avoid going there forever. I have argued that we can if it means keeping our son safe! I've also thought about whether they would lock the dog away but I can't see them agreeing to it.
Please help, its causing ao much anxiety, stress and tension which I don't need as I'm also 12 weeks pregnant.

I could go into many reasons why you're absolutely right to not put your child in this situation again. And why the dog is being let down by your PIL.

Long and the sgirt of it is, for now, to avoid any more stress for the reasons you have listed: you and your son are poorly, send apologies, husband can represent.

Of course you don’t go. Your baby has been attacked multiple times by this dog. Why on earth would you bring him back there?? You’d be an irresponsible parent to do so. Your mil lucky that you didn’t report it as dogs attacking on their own property is an offence now

I think your DH should ask them to put the dog away while you’re there, they shouldn’t have it out around anyone if it behaves like this.

Absolute 100% no to letting your child around that dog.
Believe me, I really love dogs. But that dog has a sense of seniority over the baby that won't change- unless it's for the worse - until they train it properly.
My sister is an avid dog fan and got badly mauled by someone else's adorable family dog,
If it's not trained and disciplined, it's not safe.
It's already given you the warning signs.

I wouldn't be going if the dog is loose. Your Das is lucky it was only a nip as you hear so many stories these days of children being mauled (or God forbid, killed) by dogs. I wouldn't change it.

Would the in-laws agree to keep the dog muzzled when you visit?

Like fuck would I be going back. Your MIL was only crying thinking her dog was going to be out down. I would have taken my child to A&E even if just scratched with a dog bite. Your baby was bitten whilst being held, 3x and this dog has done this before.
My DH would be telling them we would only be going round if the dog was in a room with the door locked.
This dog bit your baby whilst he was held, so your DH following him round will be doing fuck all.

DH goes on his own or MIL agrees to restrict the dog somewhere in the house such as the living room were it can't access DC

My baby would next step foot back in that house

We managed to never go to the ILs because of their dog. Children come first.

Why are you turning this into a drama? Just say no thank you. If your DH wants to go he can.

Even if your baby was screaming, crying and thrashing about that dog should be under control.
sorry DP but I’m not risking my child, have a nice time without us.

If the dog isn't away, your child doesn't go. Simple as.

Your anxiety is pointless because you're obviously not going, correct? Let your husband go and you can stay home with your toddler.

I’d suggest having the discussion about whether the dog could be shut somewhere for an hour or two before you get anxious etc

I can see this is upsetting, but it's really very simple. You don't go to their house. Simple. You'll see them elsewhere without the dog, you're not going NC. But you need to keep your child safe, so you won't be visiting their house. No drama, just simple facts.

no Don’t go back it only takes a second for something to happen , and the dog seems to have targeted your child so it’s likely to do it again

I agree with others don't go! Surly your in-laws will understand, their dog did bit 3x when your child was a baby! god forbid what that dog could do now with your toddler being a toddler. I love dogs but this is awful the fact that your MIL doesn't put her over active dog away anyway knowing it's capable of biting. tell DH to go he can tell his mother why use havnt gone because her dog is untrustworthy and then maybe do your own BBQ and invite them round on a later date. Xx

I’d say that you and DS will only attend on the condition that the dog is locked away somewhere. Surely it would be alright in a room for a few hours and then someone take it for a walk half way through the BBQ? Or even on a long lead pinned down on the garden…you know so it can roam in a certain space but not too far?

I’m assuming it might be better for the dog as i’m guessing if it’s biting people then it isn’t happy when visitors are over?

I’m bemused that the in-laws think it’s okay to have a snappy dog around a child. The dog has nipped the child a number of times while in the hands of his adult uncle. That’s a dangerous dog imo. To think the dog is just not going to do it again is just your in laws’ doing some magical thinking.

If it was me, I’d ask them to lock dog up in a bedroom or something and if they won’t do that, then don’t go there. ( I think they will). or get your partner to make the request.

If they won’t lock the dog away, I would start inviting them to your place instead (for brunch, or lunch, or whatever(they come without the dog) so they get to see their grandson regularly. That fair, and it should keep the peace.

Ask MIL to put the dog inside while you're outside. If dog is let out, leave.

This

You can avoid for ever. Your child was bitten 3 times.

I’d be reporting it as a dangerous dog and never allowing it near my kids again. Especially as it wasn’t the first time.

Absolutely don’t go back and I say that as a lover and owner of dogs.

Your MIL’s poor dog is being let down by their owners. Having an animal is not a god given right. The PILs have a duty to fully train their dogs. For their own, other peoples and the dogs safety.

The fact the dog has nipped completely unprovoked is really concerning.

And ask in laws what they plan to do to keep you mr child safe, if you go

That should be revealing