Permission to take kids abroad on holiday

[anotherdisaster]

Hi All, I've read other threads on this. The consensus (and on official gov site) is you should have written permission from the other parent. My worry is that my ex is very unpredictable and I'm not 100% sure I will get it.

Sorry didn't finish......... My question is, what happens to parents who literally have zero contact with the other parent? How do you even prove this if you get questioned at the airport? Or how do you even prove that the letter is from the other parent?

Dsd goes on holiday all the time with her mum, grandparents etc, she has a different surname to them and not once has my dh had to provide any kind of letter. You could always take the birth certificate though

Yes officially you need a letter. You can download a template for free online. You need to get your ex to sign it. Personally I wouldn't want to get done for abduction so I'd always get one. Would your ex refuse to sign? If so, why? You can't take your child out of the country without your ex knowing, that's for 100% sure.

We just get an email from SS's mother and likewise my DH emails her confirming he agrees. If you have no contact, does the other parent have guardianship rights?

I have the same surname as my son (not sure if that's relevant) but I often travel without my DH and I've never had an issue.

I would advise getting a letter as we were asked for it all at the ferry port in June. I took their birth certificates, my marriage certificate (re-married) and copy of an email from their dad giving permission.

You can get a court order as an alternative.

Depends where you are going. Most places do not require a letter.

My ex has no contact. I bring divorce paperwork, kids birth certificates in case but been all over the world and never been asked. For context, my surname is different to the kids

I've travelled dozens of time with my son who has a different surname to me, and no one has ever given it a second glance. It didn't even occur to me he might need a letter (NC so couldn't have got one anyway).

In theory yes you need it, in practical life I don’t know anyone who got asked for it.
Me and my son have different surnames so I always carry a birth certificate and a letter from his dad, just on a piece of paper, just in case.
I’ve been asked for a birth certificate once and last time the guy asked me a few questions - where he born and when. But never a letter.

If you have read the government website like you claim then you will know if there is no contact you need a court order

I've taken DD abroad many times over the last 17 years and have never been asked for this.

First time I just went & took ds' birth certificate. The immigration man on Eurostar asked me when we were coming back into the country.

Then I wrote a letter to myself, signed it as ex, and gave myself permission. I posted it from his home town to my address.

I've used it ever since. Now dog eared, and have only been asked for it once. How would they know anyway? I don't know ex's phone number so absolutely certain HM immigration don't.

I'm not prepared to faff around with my ex or give him the chance to spoil ds' holidays.

Where did I say I had 'no contact'?, I was merely asking what people do if they don't.

I didn't say I wasn't going to tell him. I'm merely asking the question to see who has experience of this. I don't think he will refuse but he is extremely unpredictable and if he feels like it, he may want to make things difficult.

I have experience of this - officially you need the letter. But I don't know many who've actually been asked to produce it at a border.
I didn't mean to imply you weren't going to tell him, I was just remarking that whatever way you cut it you're going to have to ask, because you can't do it without telling him. My sympathies, this stuff is hard.

Please don't post nonsense on the internet. She can absolutely take her child on holiday, the deadbeat dad can't even be arsed with respond to a request for consent.

Just take your child OP. You won't 'get done' for abduction, because you're bringing the child back! Sorry some posters can't grasp this concept.

Then you read the government website so then you know the answer

I'm sorry you can't seem to grasp the concept yourself - read the UK gov website. I don't make the rules. OP asked, I answered.

"Taking a child abroad without permission is child abduction.

You automatically have parental responsibility if you’re the child’s mother, but you still need the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility before you take the child abroad."

Source - https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

If the ex has PR, then OP officially needs permission. I'm not sure how much clearer it could be?

In answer to the question about what happens if you don't have contact - then you officially need a court order. It's right there on the gov website.

Again, sympathies to OP, this stuff is hard.

I've travelled countless times without my dh, You just need to each your dc the right things to say at passport control. If you are just going on holiday with nothing to worry about you wouldn't even notice anything.

If someone says 'ohhh, are you excited about your holiday' and your child says 'we aren't going on holiday, we are moving to Morocco' or 'we weren't allowed to tell daddy' then you are in a situation.

One of mine once said 'we are going to live with grandma' which we weren't - we were going to stay with grandma and so that wasn't very helpful.

@Nell80

Abduction is the PERMANENT removal
of a child, not two weeks in Spain. No one has ever been prosecuted for taking their own child on holiday. You really think the courts have time!

Gov website is badly written

I have been asked twice - once at Heathrow leaving the U.K. , once entering Canada. I carried a letter from their dad, was accepted at face value (plus they were old enough to tell border security that we were meeting their dad there, we were together at that point!) So do not assume you won't be asked. My friend got asked the year after her ex died, thankfully the border guard accepted her eloquent DD's statement, daddy is dead!

I was stopped by UK Border Control (Stansted) on the return to the UK from
a summer holiday with my 3 x DCs. DH was on the same flight, but he went ahead with his biometric passport to get the bags while I waited in line with the DCs.

I am happily married to DH - he is my DC’s legal/biological father and they have his name and we were all on the same flight. But I was stopped because of a difference in our surnames. UKBC demanded a letter from their father confirming that I’m their mother and allowed to travel alone with my DCs. They were very aggressive and separated me from my DCs and asked some pretty personal questions!!

OP, I know it’s not an answer to your specific question, but there is a massive over-reach by UK Border Control in asking for “proof” from a father that another person can travel with kids, even when nothing is flagged.

And while I’m alive to the risk of parents/carers taking children abroad in defiance of another partner, I was returning to the UK. This only arose because I never changed my birth name to my husband’s, which is not the law. This is not Saudi Arabia and I don’t need to change my name and I don’t need a male guardian to permit me to travel but I still had a pain in the ass experience.

Thank you, appreciated. I have every intention of asking for a letter and he knows I'm taking them abroad on holiday. I'm just trying to be prepared for every possibility!

Looks like you're the one who hasn't read it. It doesn't exactly cover every single situation.